Stupid thing you thought when you were a kid

[glitteryboots]

I'm watching the first episode of Schitt's Creek on Netflix and the boy and girl in it are arguing over who gets what bed in the motel because if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed. I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid - made sure my brother slept in the bed nearest the door because then I thought I was safe. Not an AIBU but what weird things did you think as a kid?

I was convinced that humans were born with a finite amount of voice, so if you talked too much you would run out before you grew up. I was a really quiet kid! I have no idea where I got that from...

I thought Baghdad was 'bad dad' and they sent all the bad men there

Yvie2020 I might use that one next time I look after my chatter box niece

That I invented the word "arsehole"!

My parents told me as a kid that the metal pole that supported the breakfast bar held up the entire house. This was obviously to stop me swinging on it. I believed it. To that point that when my parents had a new kitchen put in I was deeply concerned as to what would happen when the breakfast bar came out.

I was 21 at the time

That the reflections in my mums mirrored wardrobe was actually us in an alternate world.

That when I grew up someone would actually love me enough to marry me

I always thought you had to change your name to an old persons’ name when you got older. Seeing as though none of my friends were called Ethel, Hilda or Dorothy etc I thought you must have to change it.

"That women physically couldn’t get pregnant until they were married"

My friends and I all thought this when we were little.

In primary school at the end of each day we would put our chairs on the tables and then pray. I thought we were worshipping the chairs. I was an adult when I realised it was just for the cleaner.

I used to believe that everybody thought in English and translated to their own language.

Flora and fauna meant flowering and non-flowering plants.

Automatic cars flummoxed me because how did the car know when to indicate???

I used to think baked beans were filled with potato.

There was a sign at my school saying something like "Fouling and exercising dogs is forbidden", I thought that an exercising dog was a type of dog (maybe one that does tricks in the circus) and thought it was silly that the sign maker didn't know it should be are, not is. I would have been under six so I must have been a total smart arse!

I used to believe that when the tide was low along the Sussex coast, it was high in France, and vice versa. I was 15 before my Dad put me right!

I used to think baked beans were filled with potato

Bless you! Imagine some bloke in a factory with a teeny tiny syringe injecting every single bean!

That travelling outside the uk would mean I automatically died in the Bermuda Triangle (thanks power rangers)

That chocolate hundreds and thousands were beetles bottoms (thanks dad)

I thought that my cousin and I wrote the song Money Money Money, and that ABBA had stolen it from us. I used to get quite angry when I heard it on the radio! I was in secondary school before I realised that my cousin had conned me and that the song was 30 years older than us...

My dad had to go to Rugby a lot. After a few years i asked him if he ever won. Well I didn't know Rugby was a place

I thought that Jesus was an alien.

He grew up REALLY quickly because he was born at Christmas and died at Easter. Humans can't do that. He was the son of God, who lived in heaven, which naturally is in space.

I went to Catholic school.

I was absolutely convinced (well into adulthood ) that spiders crawled up the plughole and that's how they ended up in the sink/bath!! Even when one fell off ceiling onto me while I was in the bath aged about 14, I still thought they crawled up! DH was astounded when he found out I thought this!

I could never fathom how my Nan's house had no stairs (she lives in a ground floor flat) but there were people living above her. It's a weird layout where the flats look like houses and the door next to my Nan's opens to the bottom of a staircase which takes you upstairs. Took me years to work it out!

I also thought that the people on TV lived in the TV (when TV'S were big box like things!).

if someone were to break in they would murder the person in the first bed.

My dh still thinks this. Makes me sleep furthest from the door. Luckily all the places we've lived have had the door/my side on the same sides so no switching about. He also makes me walk on the inside of the pavement too.

My silly thing was I thought lockjaw would make your mouth keep opening and only stop when your head hit your neck, like on the old reach advert. Tbf, my mum told me this, along with other nonsense 😂

When I heard a news report that ‘ a body was ‘ found , I thought that the head , legs and arms were missing and I couldn’t work out why .

I also thought that the TV program was only on out TV in our house . I didn’t realise that our neighbours had the same :)

PumpkinPie do.... Do they not??

Ok to clarify, spiders crawling up plughole, not people living in TV!

"I was absolutely convinced (well into adulthood ) that spiders crawled up the plughole and that's how they ended up in the sink/bath!! "

I think they do, at least sometimes!

That there were swear words on frozen Turkeys ."ready basted"