Drinking from same glass and eating from same plate

[reallyagain]

Today out for lunch with DH and FIL. FIL has his food and DH had ordered a starter for he and I to share (halloumi on flatbread). So we're both tucking in with our knives and forks, then DH asks FIL if he wants to try. So FIL starts also tucking in, using same knife and fork he's been eating with. At that point I stopped eating the starter as tbh sharing food like that make me wants to vom, added to which FIL has clearly got a cold. I didn't say anything, just said I didn't want any more.

Afterwards we went to a beer bottle place for a drink - DH and FIL had the same, and I had a fruit beer. DH asked me if I wanted to try his, and he also tried mine. DH then asks FIL if he wants to try my beer - before I can blink FIL then drinks from my glass. I was pretty pissed off at this point and must have pulled a face, also said something like "really, is this a communal glass?". DH then offers to get me a new glass and goes to get me one.

AIBU to expect not to have to make this point and not to want to share germs with FIL?

Gross. YANBU.

It's grotty
The cold is neither here nor there.

YANBU but it's your OH who invited your FIL. I don't think you can blame FIL. Surely it's you're DH you should be annoyed at

YUK! No way. My DH's aunt makes this potato salad that's supposed to be amazing....I've never eaten it because I've watched her make it and she stirs, licks the spoon, stirs, licks....it's RANK!

Chuck I already said this in the thread

Eurgh fortune that's gross, I can't understand why the problem is supposedly in our heads, viruses etc are actually physical, not mental

Eww that gross, you are definitely not be unreasonable here. Mind I can't even drink out of the same vessel as anybody ever, not even my own kids!!

YANBU not to want to share in that way, but YABVU to have just sat and allowed it to happen. Why didn't you just say no?!

Bridget he'd already tucked in and I think I was so shocked then didnt want to cause a scene in public/in front of DD. One of those situations where after the event you know exactly what you'd like to have said/done but didn't

YABU

reallyagain, v fair point you share saliva with your husband so is different than your

I used to not mind utensil sharing but the older I have got and due to chronic illness I am much more aware of contamination and wouldn’t like it either.

Sorry to hear that chocpear, best to be careful like you say

Yuk YANBU OP. Doesn't matter whether someone has a cold because it's usually as the cold is developing its more contagious anyway. It's just the whole germ thing. I also avoid dips because of double dipping. At Christmas my dh wanted dips for when his family came round. I flatly refused to buy them. If we have them in our house we have individual amounts on plates.

No wouldn't bother me, I'll share food/drink with anyone I know.

No I wouldn't double dip because I know its bad manners and people don't like it but it wouldn't bother me if someone else did.

It wouldn't bother me, perhaps I am not that fussed about germs.

Noooooo!!! I hate people sharing my food. Other people's saliva. Just no. And yes, of course there are dozens of situations where we come into contact with worse germs, but it's all about perception. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by making a fuss though and would probably try to think of a suitable excuse not to eat /drink any more - too full, want to leave room for dessert, oops, clumsy me, didn't mean to knock it over - that kind of thing😂

I have seen FIL tasting food from a spoon while cooking for others and then using it to stir the food. I also find that gross

It is gross. Lick a spoon and stick it in a pot of yoghurt. Leave for a bit and see what the first stage of digestion looks like.

Just no!

It's got nothing to do with germs as far as I'm concerned. I just don't want certain people's mouths on my glass becuse I want to exchange saliva with them.

*because I don't want to exchange saliva with them.

Oh God yes Bluebolts, double dipping. Makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

When we're sharing a big bag of crisps, DP licks his fingers and sticks his hand back in the bag. I don't care what intimate moments we share at other times - that's just bloody wrong. I've had to go all middle class and start using bowls.

YANBU. I'd be grossed out too!

This sort of thing also turns my stomach, I can't eat left over food off someones plate, nor drink from the same glass even if it's my husband or two grown up children. I recall many years back when my children were very little, we were out with my in-laws (their grandparents) and the children were having a Mr Whippy My father in law asked my son for a lick, my son offered it, grandad had a lick of the already half eaten ice cream, and my son without a care in the world carried on eating it, ugh. All I could think of from then on was old man's slobbery tongue leaving spit on the Mr Whippy. Ugh, it makes me heave thinking about it.

just how big was this starter...? three people tucking in...? really....??

so he had a taste but just how much bodily fluids could he have been shared with one starter that you and hubby had already tucked into....? I think you are over reacting..

I would be more pissed off about having to share a starter than the actual act of sharing it...

ditto with the glass... an over reaction. you were aware he was poorly, so why are you out socialising where other people are eating anyway?

Tbh with family and friends it doesnt really bother me, unless someone is ill or grabs shared food/drink with obviously dirty/unsanitary hands/faces (eg if my DD has a cold sore I will not have a swig out of her drink but normally I think nothing of sharing with her)

Also, if you were all using cutlery, how are you sharing saliva just because all three of you were eating the same flatbread? Generally I use my fork to hold the bread while the knife cuts it therefore the only food touching the fork is food that will go in my mouth and the knife, which is touching the "communal bread" (to cut my portion off), never touches my mouth or the fork. If it was something like pasta where you're putting the fork into the pasta and then your mouth, so it touches all the "communal" pasta then you might have more of a point of being squicked out.

A drink in a glass is different because the utensil used - ie the glass - doesnt allow for them to keep their mouth away from the drink so there is a possibility of back wash, even if you use straws etc

gagging