Drinking from same glass and eating from same plate

[reallyagain]

Today out for lunch with DH and FIL. FIL has his food and DH had ordered a starter for he and I to share (halloumi on flatbread). So we're both tucking in with our knives and forks, then DH asks FIL if he wants to try. So FIL starts also tucking in, using same knife and fork he's been eating with. At that point I stopped eating the starter as tbh sharing food like that make me wants to vom, added to which FIL has clearly got a cold. I didn't say anything, just said I didn't want any more.

Afterwards we went to a beer bottle place for a drink - DH and FIL had the same, and I had a fruit beer. DH asked me if I wanted to try his, and he also tried mine. DH then asks FIL if he wants to try my beer - before I can blink FIL then drinks from my glass. I was pretty pissed off at this point and must have pulled a face, also said something like "really, is this a communal glass?". DH then offers to get me a new glass and goes to get me one.

AIBU to expect not to have to make this point and not to want to share germs with FIL?

It really wouldn't bother me, I'll share food with anyone! If you've ever been on the tube and touched anything you would've touched more germs than if you snogged your germ infested FIL. I just can't get het up about it.

Not a big deal IMO

Personally it doesn't really bother me, but I know some people who it's an absolute no-no for and couldn't continue with their food/drink if anyone else had been near it.
Your own husband should know what side of the stick your on and was therefore extremely rude to keep offering your FIL your food/drink!

I'm also not sure I'd ever eat flatbread with cutlery....

I’m with you totally but I can’t share anything like that with anyone, even my OH. I’m aware of the reasons why that’s illogical but it makes no difference it’s just how I am

I wohldnt have liked this either. But it's kind if your husbands fault, not your fils. Tell your husband how you feel about it, and not to do it anymore.

Lol Lionel, if not he'd have had to wrestle it out if my hands I guess

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But then I am not a germaphobe. I don't really mind other peoples germs.

I completely agree the issue was with DH offering, he absolutely knows me better than to do this

See this wouldn't bother me at all.

If you've ever been on the tube and touched anything you would've touched more germs

Do you touch the tube and then lick your fingers? Or lick the tube? It's hardly the same when the first thing a sane person does after being out and about is wash their hands when they get in.

Really bianca, even when the person clearly has a cold?

Gamer chick that's what I thought, I'm very careful about hygiene after being out and about. Probably why I never get colds!

I remember once visiting a family ( as part of my job) who would allow their family dog to take food from their forks, then carry on eating the meal themselves. At the end of the meal the plates were placed on the floor for the dogs to lick the plates clean, before the plates were taken into the kitchen to be washed up. There were teenagers and very young children in this family as well as the parents and grandparents.

If you have shared a starter with your partner, does that mean you and your partner put both your cutlery in the starter then into your mouths?

If your FIL clearly has a cold, then I would not wanting to be sharing food.

So am I, always hot soapy water when you get in and don't touch face when out. I still get colds, you can catch a cold when someone sneezes.... Or share their saliva. < not envy

I remember once visiting a family ( as part of my job) who would allow their family dog to take food from their forks, then carry on eating the meal themselves. At the end of the meal the plates were placed on the floor for the dogs to lick the plates clean, before the plates were taken into the kitchen to be washed up

I knew a family who did the same. Except the plates were not washed up after the dogs. Just put back in the cupboard. < again, not envy

Sharing a drink with your husband is completely different from sharing it with your FIL.

Would the posters saying it wouldn't bother them be okay with anyone and everyone drinking out of their glass: your MIL/SIL/BIL people at work, your children's friends, their parents, the man who comes to fix the boiler?

I certainly would never have wanted to share a drink with my FIL or any other relations of my exh. Bloody revolting.

And it wouldn't be enough for me to have a clean glass, I'd want another drink altogether.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But then I am not a germaphobe

This. Me neither.

In any event, it’s DH you should be annoyed at as he’s the one offering your food and drink around.

Chocpear given DH and I kiss regularly, sharing forks in food is a moot point for me personally. Everyone is different though clearly

It’s a tough one. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest doing that with my own parents but doing it with my in-laws would be pretty gross. As a result, I understand why your dh is happy to do that with his own dad. You need to tell your dh you don’t feel comfortable with it and to not offer to share your food or drinks.

No its disgusting.I dont like sharing with other people.

All those saying its fine,do you double dip as well> not envy

Mama yes I see what you mean. My family would never do this so it was such a complete shock for me

I have seen FIL tasting food from a spoon while cooking for others and then using it to stir the food. I also find that gross

It’s the thought rather than the germs.
I feel ill when my greedy friend dies “ sharing” food and sticks her fork into my food. I dislike my parents doing fresh food as they casually poke their fingers in stuff - all their cheese blocks have finger print in from when they grate a bit off.

However I used to play rugby and would happily drink the forfeit pint (the point is, it’s not all beer ). I work with snotty kids that don’t wash their hands after the loo all day and it bothers me none.

So a I would say meh. It’s in your head.