We've been together 6 years this years married for 3 (the last two being rough as hell)
He's always been... useless however less so now than when we first met. He was by definition a man child (couldn't cook, couldn't wash his own things, use a dishwasher etc It got to the point when I had DC2 I had to write him pictures/details instructions on how to use the dishwasher/washing machine etc whilst I recovered from my section. Even then I was doing chores he refused to do less than a week later. Despite that I loved him and married him He then proceeded to get worse (believe it or not) and as well as doing nothing round the house he then added in sleeping all the time and by all the time we're talking 40+ hours over the span of 3 days if he wasn't sleeping he was lounging in bed or drinking.
I had enough in 2018 and said unless he changed that was it. He moved back into his mums and it seemed after a long while he improved. Living apart seemed to benefit us but he slowly started to slip.
It all came to a head yesterday Im currently pregnant suffering with PGP/SPD, being the main parent to DS1/2 as well as working. The midwife has told me the usual of no heavy lifting/take it easy etc but if I don't do anything it just doesn't get done. for example I went to see my mum with DS1, I asked him to take the suitcase upstairs when I got home. It sat there for 2 weeks before I finally dragged it upstairs, the washing I asked him to put on sits there until I do it.
He sits on his phone whilst I do dinner for everyone cause If I don't nobody else will. Finally yesterday as he watched me take 2 baskets of washing upstairs, supervise the kids upstairs, sorting out their rooms and he sat downstairs "reading the news" I told him if he wasn't going to help with the washing the least he could do was do the kids dinner. He kicked off saying it wasn't his house why should he have to do it and "fuck this shit" before he stormed off to work nearly 2 hours early.
It then came out unbeknown to me that when the kids were going to his he wasn't doing anything with them there! His mum is doing their washing, dinners/lunch/breakfast, tidying up after them. He forgets to wash them or to tell them to brush their teeth and they're confined to the spare room and his room in the upstairs of his house. DS1 doesn't even have a bed frame for his bed as he took it away saying it was "too noisy" and DS2 sleeps in bed with him (Despite myself, the SENCo team etc telling him that him doing things like that hinders DS2).
I told him I was tired of either badgering him to do the most simplest of things or having to just do them myself with no help which lately means Im struggling to walk by the end of the day, because "I'll do it tomorrow" really means never. Apparently I'm being unreasonable and its unreasonable and selfish of me to expect him to help me when he goes to work.
AIBU in thinking fuck this shit and applying for a divorce?