To ask if your partner gives you compliments?

[littleblackdress04]

Yesterday, I had a compliment from a random stranger- it wasn’t sleazy- it was in a service station. Bloke walked past me, turned around & said ‘You are really pretty’ & that was that. Literally never happened before & kind of surprised me (esp as I am 45 😂)

But then it got me thinking that it was the first time anyone has said anything nice to me in a really long time & made me realise that my OH literally never says a bloody nice complimentary thing to me ever. We’ve been together 20 years but it’s made me realise how sad it makes me to feel unnoticed at home.

The comment yesterday just made me feel nice I guess as it’s been years.

Aibu to ask if your OH compliments you? And I don’t mean that I need validation from someone else either but I do feel a bit invisible sometimes!

"You've got better. "

"No, fuckwit, I'm exactly the same, you've stopped bullying me about it so I've stopped getting pissed off."

My partner - to his eternal credit - does compliment me; on looks, parenting, work success, the lot. He is annoying the fuck out of me at times (been together 20+ years w one DC, now a tween, both work stupidly hard and have had plenty of shit thrown at us by life: serious events, bereavement, cancer etc) but by god he’s a rock and my biggest fan and best support. I am very lucky and should listen more when he says something nice 😁

Yes, bless him!! Together 30 years this year and the years have not been kind! He still tells me I'm gorgeous (never was) and sexy (ditto) he was and still is - you could say I was punching above my weight- but given my (over) weight that isn't possible 😬

He does, he sometimes looks hard at me and I’ll ask if I’ve something on my face and he will say ‘you are so beautiful you know’. He notices my outfits, refuses to allow me to put myself down and says ‘I can’t believe I get to say that you are my wife, I’m the luckiest man in the world’

I love him very much

I bet you that to him (and others around you) you are exactly that: gorgeous and sexy, just like he says. We are our own worst critics, and readily believe anything negative about ourselves, whereas anything positive practically needs to be hammered home w pneumatic drills.

Every now and again I'll be doing something inane and he'll say 'you're beautiful' and I'm like EHHHH you taking the piss! With mouth full of cake/chocolate. To be fair he probably is taking the piss.
Nah he's lovely with compliments, I don't find them a necessity though but it's nice to be noticed now and then.

We compliment each other often. About anything and everything.
"Great dinner/lunch/breakfast/toast/water. Thank you!"
"You did well in x! Good job!"
"No one else could fuck this up as spectacularly as you. Impressive!" (actual compliment😂)
"Wow. Impressive burp!" (Usually him to me)
"You smell nice"
"Omg. Impressive! Thought it's not humanly impossible to drink all that and not like. Die."
And so on.

Hmmm, not really now I think about it. He certainly does lots for me and I do feel valued but no I don’t think he would ever say I was pretty (but to be fair, I’m really not).

Yes he does. We met when I was 27 and he was 21. Now at my grand old age of 51, he tells me I’m still beautiful.

Nope. I habe heard him tell other women, family, friends that they are beautiful but never once has he told me i am. He tells me he loves me but he has a very strange hang up with complimenting me. Even when i do myself up and fish for a compliment he never ever does. Weirdo.

No never 😢

Yes he does. All the time and we've been married over 40 years :)

Have you read about love languages? I used to get upset about not getting compliments. Words mean nothing to my DH though, but he shows his love in acts of service and quality time. To him he shows he loves me by spending as much time with me as possible, words are quite meaningless to him.
It's not mean, it's just the way he's built!
I once spoke to a therapist who said some of the sleaziest most unfaithful guys said all the right things, but it was what they did that was most important. Which helped me deal with his lack of nice words!

Yes, in a very subtle and casual way. He tells me I look nice/beautiful most days.

@insane I’m the same as your dp. I really struggle to put things into words and my dp will ask sometimes if I still fancy him and I’m like what? I still fuck you every night so of course I do. But I just never tell him! I’m trying though :)

Mine complements me on my mind mostly. I prefer that to being complimented on my looks, which always leaves me feeling a bit icky.

My DH always compliments me, we celebrated our silver wedding this year.

Together with my husband 3 years and he compliments me, normally about my hair or my face or if idress nicely he will say I look cute or pretty.

My favourite is when he plays with my hair and talks about how nice it's getting and long and how perfect he thinks my hair is ( I damaged it ages ago and it's taken a while to get back to being nice)

DH gives me compliments all the time.

It’s extremely creepy for a random in a service station to tell you how pretty you are. Fucking male gaze bullshit. None of his business.

I rarely have compliments from DH, on how I look or anything else really. I have a new dress which has attracted compliments from half a dozen colleagues but nothing from DH. I do try to make a point of complimenting him so that I’m not a hypocrite.

Bloke walked past me, turned around & said ‘You are really pretty’

Yuk.

I would have told him to fuck off.

What insane said. I was just contemplating does my DH complement me (He doesnt) and seeing the mention of love languages I totally don't care that he doesn't. My DH is more likely to accidentally offend than compliment me, bless him but he does show love/appreciation in other ways.

Yes, of course. Sometimes backhanded not always about appearance but nice nevertheless.
I suspect garage man might not have well developed social skills and was trying to be nice rather than sleazy.

No he doesn't, now that I think about it.

I do compliment him all the time, about various things but he never reciprocates. 😕