To ask you the worst things your toddler has done?

[farmertom]

I'm not sure how light hearted this is, hopefully a bit. Looking to feel a bit better about mine!
Just had a new baby and my gorgeous, gentle, well behaved little toddler (2.4 months) has turned into a moaning and hitting, doing the opposite of whatever is asked and refusing to get dressed/nappy change/eat little monster.
I feel absolutely awful! I feel so guilty like I've ruined his life with all this upheaval and especially the hitting makes me feel so bad.

Please tell me this is normal and that he'll be ok 😢😢😢😢

Back in the 60s, my little sister was the terror: cut all the hair off my favourite doll while I was at school; hit me on the head with a Bakelite plug (and those fuckers were massive); phoned the fire brigade numerous times; flooded the recently redecorated downstairs flat; fell in a pond at a stately home and nearly drowned; and (look away now if you are of a squeamish disposition) trod on a needle, which went right through her big toe and out the other side.

ohnooutofdateham my eldest sat up at 6 months, pulled herself round the furniture at 6 1/2 months and walked at 7 months! Karma bit her on the arse, as her eldest did the same!

During the fire service strike DS3 (aged 2) set fire to a pile of recycling by lighting a piece of his hedgehog picture from playgroup on the gas hob and carrying it to the recycling. Luckily he came to tell me (I was ironing in another room) that everything was going 'whoosh whoosh' and I managed to put it out. Aged three he also called the police to complain about his bedtime: I was mortified when they rang back and told me and suggested I move the phone (it was already on a high cabinet and I didn't think he could reach it but he moved furniture around and climbed). He also screamed "she's not my mum" as I tried to get him in a bus at the ski slopes because his older siblings were staying for floodlit skiing and he was too young. Luckily other passengers remembered us from the flight out (where he'd moved to sit with another family whose son he'd made friends with at the airport and then caused chaos during turbulence when I tried to get him back).
He's lovely now.

Just to reassure everyone currently tearing their hair out while wrangling toddlers,
My twins (pool pusher and dog biter) are now 7 and although they retain the capacity to be deeply irritating have not done anything hair raising for ages.

The middle one, now 10, (Pooed on the carpet and rolled in it so she could ‘be a poo monster and scare big bro’) is the most caring empathetic child while having a mind like a steel trap. She’s a joy.

The eldest, (told my poor granny when we visited in Hosp, ‘You shut up, you’re very old and you’ll be dead soon.’) is off to med school in September.

Rang 999 and the police turned up on the doorstep?

Locked me outside in a nighty and wellies in the snow when I popped out to feed the chooks! (with no way to get back in and no way to contact anyone with a key!) When she was a whole 18 months old and 'apparently' not old enough to operate a key!

Painted his baby brother bright blue, along with his cot, the carpet, the furniture and the dog.
Have you ever tried getting gloss paint off a toddler, a baby, a dog and everything else?? 😭
I have to say, even the air was blue when I saw it.

My dc never did any tricks or damage or anything as toddlers: no wall art, no lotion or Sudocrem incidents and nothing broken. I smugly thought we'd got away with it!

The problem is however that as ds has grown up his adhd has become more apparent and we have to watch him more now than when he was a toddler. He's 8 and a few months ago he drew all over his hands, face, arms, legs and torso when he was meant to be in bed! It was a school night too so he had to go with black circles around both his eyes and coloured in gloves.

He's also cut his own hair whilst at school, and once he got hold of a screwdriver and swapped the door catchplate things on his and our bedroom doors. I only noticed when I couldn't close our door properly.