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Original poster

Noise on trains

337 replies

Flower884 · 19/02/2020 15:32

Why do parents think it’s ok to let their child listen to a children’s programme loud on a train with no earphones?

I’ve experienced this a few times now on trains and planes. They seem oblivious to the noise.

Another lady has just asked the mum to turn it down as she’s trying to work. The mums response - well my child can’t hear it!

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 20/02/2020 10:06

Stunned at the amount of babies, barely toddlers that are thrust the screen sitter.

Some entitled crap parenting, wonder how they'd have coped years ago.

Hoik · 20/02/2020 10:08

She is completely dependent on it as she cannot otherwise control her child.

Volume issue aside, he has the iPad on train journeys to help keep him occupied. That's hardly the same as his mum being completely dependent on it, you've no idea what sort of activities and interactions they have the rest of the time and it's unfair to presume the toddler is in front of a tablet 24/7.

Hoik · 20/02/2020 10:09

Some entitled crap parenting, wonder how they'd have coped years ago.

I can guarantee that if they'd existed in the 60s/70s/80s our parents would have used them.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/02/2020 10:11

can guarantee that if they'd existed in the 60s/70s/80s our parents would have used them Absolutely!!

MarthasGinYard · 20/02/2020 10:14

'I can guarantee that if they'd existed in the 60s/70s/80s our parents would have used them.'

I'm a parent now and don't use one Confused

And I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't have either.

Dontdisturbmenow · 20/02/2020 10:14

I can imagine that is a lot more annoying than an iPad, but it's not something I'm willing to stop, he's a child and that's what children should be doing - interacting!
I despair when I read this. Yes children should be interacting, great, but they don't to do so loudly disturbing every one in the process. Kids to learn to keep their voice down when taught to do so. Kids don't rule the world!

GoldenOmber · 20/02/2020 10:15

Some entitled crap parenting, wonder how they'd have coped years ago.

For most of human history children haven't been expected to sit still and quiet on a train for hours and hours. Because we do expect this of them now, parents will use the 'screen sitter' and the 'colouring book sitter' and the 'jigsaw puzzle sitter' and the 'quiet toys sitter' and whatever other objects they have at their disposal to get through journeys without pissing off all the other passengers.

You genuinely can't win at this one because there is no perfect way to entertain children on a long journey that every single member of the public will approve of ("playing I Spy? ugh, performance parenting!"), so you may as well do whatever keeps them fairly quiet and docile for the duration and isn't actively harming them. Then let them go wild once you're at the other end and they can stretch their legs properly again.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/02/2020 10:17

MarthasGinYard well done you, you are just so perfect, Im in awe. I bet your children have never tried a mcdonalds or heard a swear word either.

formerbabe · 20/02/2020 10:17

There are no seats at rush hour-we are packed in like sardines
My 2 year old hates being in a buggy and will thrash about and kick her legs and scream. On a peak rush hour train she will inevitably hurt someone, if not herself. I will put on a tablet to keep her calm and in her buggy for the 20 min journey

Well according to the perfect mummy crew on here you should have been doing some colouring with her or playing an educational game. I'd love to know how anyone could manage that on a commuter train at rush hour? I think a lot of posters are imagining a train where you have a seat and a table! As for the learn to drive comment...they clearly have no idea what London is like! I drive but many places in London have been made virtually impossible to drive to.

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:18

@Hoik Volume issue aside, he has the iPad on train journeys to help keep him occupied. That's hardly the same as his mum being completely dependent on it, you've no idea what sort of activities and interactions they have the rest of the time and it's unfair to presume the toddler is in front of a tablet 24/7.

I'm saying that a parent who can't control her one-year-old child on a train journey without selfishly disturbing everyone else around them clearly doesn't know how to interact with or engage with her child.

I'm also saying that her claim that the baby only uses the iPad for '5 minutes' during the train journey makes absolutely no sense, because either she can control him/her without the iPad, or she can't. If she - as she claims - requires the iPad as she can't otherwise prevent her one-year-old child from running around the train, then she is completely dependent on it.

I can guarantee that if they'd existed in the 60s/70s/80s our parents would have used them.

Parents in the 60s/70s/80s also generally smoked around their children, drove them without car seats or even seat belts, and regularly drove after several drinks. Why on earth do you think that is some sort of recommendation? No one has suggested that shit, lazy, inadequate parents are a modern invention.

GoldenOmber · 20/02/2020 10:18

My parents used Walkmans (well, cheap knock-off versions that always sodding broke) with headphones and story tapes on long journeys back in the 80s. I am fairly sure there were plenty of people who disapproved of that as well!

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:20

@formerbabe As for the learn to drive comment...they clearly have no idea what London is like! I drive but many places in London have been made virtually impossible to drive to.

I'm a lifelong Londoner who doesn't drive and has taken my kids everywhere with me on the tube/bus since they were newborns. Never given them a tablet or other screen to stop them disturbing people. But then they have some concept that the world doesn't revolve around them- like they are quite happy to stand on a crowded tube and don't put their shoes on the seats.

Hoik · 20/02/2020 10:20

Toddler screaming, has iPad for five minutes to caom him down and get him over the initial annoyance at being unable to run around, iPad taken away once cartoon finished and toddler is calm. I can easily see why five minutes is enough when it's being used as a distraction tool.

AllesAusLiebe · 20/02/2020 10:20

On a peak rush hour train she will inevitably hurt someone, if not herself.

Absolutely crazy admission there.

I understand the point about the additional cost of driving etc but to say that you can't keep a 2 year old from injury on a 20 minute journey without a tablet probably means that you need to develop some better parenting strategies.

I have an 18 month old. On any day a journey may go without a problem, on another day it might be challenging, so I get it. There are times when my DS has been unsettled when we've been out and he's been trying to exercise his will to run around, but he can't and frankly, just has to learn that it's not his decision to make. There are only a handful of occasions when a book hasn't provided enough of a temporary distraction.

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:21

@GoldenOmber listening to a story being told is not remotely comparable to using a screen, which has actual testable effects on a child's developing brain.

formerbabe · 20/02/2020 10:22

I'm saying that a parent who can't control her one-year-old child on a train journey without selfishly disturbing everyone else around them clearly doesn't know how to interact with or engage with her child

Nonsense. Perhaps you were blessed with a toddler who never had a tantrum but many of us mere mortals have had toddlers who'd lay on the floor kicking and screaming. Normal strategies for coping with NORMAL behaviour like this aren't so effective on moving vehicles or in crowds.

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:22

@Hoik The child is ONE. It's a baby. It doesn't need a bloody iPad to 'distract' it. It needs a bit of effort on the part of its parent/carer

GoldenOmber · 20/02/2020 10:23

The amount of damage done to 'developing brains' by a story being read out with a screen vs. a story being read out without a screen is a) hugely over reported and b) even if it WAS a problem, isn't going to do much on a one-off journey.

Dontdisturbmenow · 20/02/2020 10:23

You're bringing up a generation with no consideration for others, no understanding of societal norms and no ability to entertain themselves for half a hour. It's fucking bonkers!!
And it's reading threads like that that makes me understand why teachers are leaving the profession.

Hoik · 20/02/2020 10:25

Parents in the 60s/70s/80s also generally smoked around their children, drove them without car seats or even seat belts, and regularly drove after several drinks. Why on earth do you think that is some sort of recommendation? No one has suggested that shit, lazy, inadequate parents are a modern invention.

Using screens doesn't make someone a shit parent. You do know schools used them too, don't you? My DC schools have their reading schemes online and they use tablets as part of the curriculum. The high school DC1 will be going to when he starts year 9 gives every pupil a tablet, their diary/planner is on it, they use it in some of their lessons, and they submit some of their homework using it.

My parents in the 80s/90s didn't smoke, made us wear seatbelts, and never drank when driving but we still had Walkmans, GameBoys, and those tiny little coin battery pianos with do-ray-mi written on the keys to help you play them, later on we had portable DVD players.

It's almost as if parents throughout history have been doing the best they can with the resources available to them...

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:25

@GoldenOmber What is it about a parent who has no coping strategies other than getting her one-year-old to stare at an iPad that makes you think, for a moment, that it's a 'one-off'?

What's your citation for claiming that all of the evidence of the neurological effects of screen time on very young children is 'over-reported'?

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 20/02/2020 10:27

It's not just parents with young children who might have had a hard day and want some peace on a train, and most people travelling for work will need to do some work on the journey - the quiet carriage isn't always available. However, it seems that with some parents only they are allowed to be stressed, tired and needing some time out. It's very selfish.

ScarlettBlaize · 20/02/2020 10:28

@Hoik Using screens doesn't make someone a shit parent. You do know schools used them too, don't you?

Giving a ONE-YEAR-OLD a tablet on full volume in a train full of other people makes someone not only a shit parent but an utterly inconsiderate and selfish human being.

My DC schools have their reading schemes online and they use tablets as part of the curriculum. The high school DC1 will be going to when he starts year 9 gives every pupil a tablet, their diary/planner is on it, they use it in some of their lessons, and they submit some of their homework using it.

You think that a teenager using tablets to plan their school work is the same as giving a tablet to a one-year-old baby???

It's almost as if parents throughout history have been doing the best they can with the resources available to them...

It's almost as if not all parents are the same as each other, and some do their best while others don't give a fuck as long as they don't have to lift a finger.

formerbabe · 20/02/2020 10:29

There are certain situations where as a parent the only strategy is get through as best you can. I think a packed rush hour train with a screaming toddler is one of those. It's like the time I had hideous flu and was alone with my dc...I ordered a takeaway pizza. Is that ideal parenting? No. Do I usually cook a proper healthy meal? Yes. I did the best I could in a shit situation.

Hoik · 20/02/2020 10:29

Considering the child is on their way to a neurology appointment I'd place a good bet that there are other issues at play and the child may not be acting in typical ways with regard to the intensity of the tantrum.