Noise on trains

[Flower884]

Why do parents think it’s ok to let their child listen to a children’s programme loud on a train with no earphones?

I’ve experienced this a few times now on trains and planes. They seem oblivious to the noise.

Another lady has just asked the mum to turn it down as she’s trying to work. The mums response - well my child can’t hear it!

My toddler finds trains utterly fascinating, we sit by the window and he describes in loud, animated detail what he can see. I can imagine that is a lot more annoying than an iPad, but it's not something I'm willing to stop, he's a child and that's what children should be doing - interacting!

I commute into London for work and when I expect to get work done on a train, I sit in the quiet coach. When I'm with my toddler on the train in the "noisy" carriages, it always baffles me how many business types are happy to sit and conduct what are quite obviously private and confidential conversations. I would get struck off for that, rightly so.

Actually @frillyfarmer I wouldn’t find your child describing what he’s seeing in the least bit irritating. Loud or not.

IME children are the least of my annoyances on trains. What really grates on me is not a little cartoon playing that's easy to tune out.

It's the adults who decide to have a long, loud, drawn out phone conversation which is much harder to tune out because of the manic sudden laughter and just the sheer volume. It's like they want the entire train to hear their side of the conversation. Cannot stand this.

Then you've got the same as above except both loud talkers are on the train in person, inflicting their obnoxiously loud, grating voices on everyone.

And don't even get me started on the adults who play crap music without headphones.

The above are all selfish, thoughtless and should know better.

Even before I was a parent, hearing children's programs on a train didn't bother me because I understood it was keeping a young child sat down and happy (quiet), and I could easily tune the sound out. I'd much rather that than have small children running amuck and being noisy and annoying.

I did however, about 20 years ago, have to endure Anne Widdecombe sat across the aisle from me on her brick mobile phone being ridiculously loud and rude to whomever she was talking to.

Poor you, no one should ever have to endure Anne Widdecombe. There should be a tele-thon or something for you and others like you

@arseit - perhaps ur fellow travellers would feel different.

Personally I feel that anyone suggesting they would prefer a screaming child to children's tv have never sat on a 2hr journey with a screaming child. My little one has a not very unique way of being able to cry at such a pitch even the hardest of hearts would fail to crumble.

Furthermore if we were to leave our child crying no doubt there would be a horde of MN complaining of the crying and asking why we haven't put on a tv program to distract them

Likewise has anyone ever tried to put headphones on a 1yo? We have ear defenders for fireworks etc and they spend very little time on their head.

It's lazy parenting to sit them in front of a phone/iPad. Whatever happened to card games, colouring, books or comics? I wouldn't sit on a train watching something without headphones so why should kids? I work in a bar and it happens there too. TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!

@NChangeForNoReason - doesn’t look like it from this thread. General consensus is we don’t want to hear your child’s tv/music. And nor should we. Likewise, we shouldn’t have to move bloody seats either. (And actually on some routes that’s a laughable suggestion).
And yes you can get your kid to wear headphones. You just have to work at it.

@Klouise777 the kids who have iPads shoved in their hands at 20 months old are the ones who never learn to occupy themselves without a screen.

Not only are you totally selfish towards the other passengers but you're not doing your child any favours either.

Hell is other people.

Oops, so sorry, clicked YABU on the vote by mistake! You're absolutely NBU in my opinion. I hate any extraneous noise on public transport, from the arrogant business person talking loudly and importantly about their last meeting on the phone at rush hour, to the person rustling and chomping the cheese an onion crisps, to the parent who shoves an iPad in their child's face to keep them quiet, but failing to provide any headphones! What makes all this worse is that there is no quiet coach in the region that I catch the train. I like to think of myself as a bit of a saint, keeping rustling/music/chatting to a minimum, because if I hate it, surely everyone must do too?!

@Happyhats2
I'm not saying my child uses her iPad on loud, but if she wants to then she can...

A moment of sympathy for all future teachers, friends and partners of this child.

@NChangeForNoReason - However my son is 1yo and I assume fellow passengers would prefer teletubbies to a child wailing!

No. Tinny, electronic noise is way worse. Particularly stuff like teletubbies.

Programmes like that don’t need the volume turned on. If you want to use a device with a child that young, do it on silent mode if you’re not willing to use head phones, which are available for that age.

A 1yo can't be expected to wear headphones so either get some of ur own or move seats.

That is an unbelievably selfish and anti-social attitude.

@ScarlettBlaize tell me you've never sat on a long journey and browsed your phone, watched a film on a flight, using your phone to check mums net? 5 mins with a tablet isn't going to hurt my child thank you. And if said tablet for 5 mins of nursery rhymes or games stops my toddler from trying to run around a crammed train im pretty sure fellow passengers won't be upset by it.

Amazed at the brass neck on this thread. Of course it's not acceptable for a child to watch videos on an iPad with the sound up. I'm also amazed at the PPs who use screens for 1 and 2 year olds! Mine (now 8 and 10) never did that young. We coloured, chatted or played games. They do now of course (with headphones) interspersed with chit chat and some drawing.

You're bringing up a generation with no consideration for others, no understanding of societal norms and no ability to entertain themselves for half a hour. It's fucking bonkers!!

2 points:

Children as young as 1 and 2 shouldn't have tablets.

Finally, let me clear this one up. If you can't occupy your child on a train or bus for the duration of your journey without a tablet or mobile phone on loud, you need to learn to drive.

Regularly took long train journeys and long haul flights (which are much more problematic for noise on night flights as people are definitely trying to sleep!)

From the outset there was a clear rule - if a child gets a phone/tablet in public, headphones are on or sound is off. Not low, off. Tinny electronic sound is incredibly annoying and hard for other people to tune out.

Never any exceptions to this and because I was consistent my kids learned that was the rule. DS2 used to hate headphones so did manage to go all the way to Australia watching the seat back screen with no volume aged 2. He somehow survived....

And yeah, I'm pretty chilled with the idea that if my kids are going to be spending hours travelling, then as well as all the other things we bring to entertain them (I'm a regular sharer of my ideas on the long haul with kids threads - novelty shaped post its are the absolute best with small toddlers) then screens aren't going to cause them long-term damage, just like letting them watch a bit of Cbeebies at home isn't going to turn them into robots.

My little one has a not very unique way of being able to cry at such a pitch even the hardest of hearts would fail to crumble.

Severely underestimating many people's ability to ignore any child, even your wailing one. Not hard hearted, just total lack of interest in them. We just turn up the volume.

@unchienandalusia hear hear

@Klouise777 and all the others defending this - stop being so selfish. The world dies not revolve around your child. Saying that your child will not wear headphones is ridiculous. You are the parent - why are you letting them dictate to you? They need to learn no headphones no tablet. And before you say this will lead to a huge tantrum you need to practise this BEFORE you get on the train. You are bringing up entitled children who will grow up doing what they want and sod every one else.

@Klouise777 ScarlettBlaize tell me you've never sat on a long journey and browsed your phone, watched a film on a flight, using your phone to check mums net?

I am not 20 months old. Would you like some links about neuroplasticity (children's brains) and screen time?

5 mins with a tablet isn't going to hurt my child thank you. And if said tablet for 5 mins of nursery rhymes or games stops my toddler from trying to run around a crammed train im pretty sure fellow passengers won't be upset by it.

So you give your baby an iPad for 5 minutes only. But for the entire rest of the journey, she/he runs around a crammed train? I don't understand how this works.

If you are saying you can stop them running around for the entire rest of the journey minus 5 minutes, why do you need the iPad?

@Klouise777 you also seem to have missed the point that the other posters on this thread ARE 'fellow passengers' and yes, we do mind. Stop making other people pay for your lazy parenting.

I only ever book the quiet carriage now. Can't even bear the sound of other people typing so kids programme on loud would make me want to kill someone. That's what headphones are for.

@unchienandalusia I'm also amazed at the PPs who use screens for 1 and 2 year olds! Mine (now 8 and 10) never did that young. We coloured, chatted or played games. They do now of course (with headphones) interspersed with chit chat and some drawing.

Mine are 9 and 6 but still don't use screens. It's not just babies and toddlers whose brains are damaged by screen use.

Finally, let me clear this one up. If you can't occupy your child on a train or bus for the duration of your journey without a tablet or mobile phone on loud, you need to learn to drive

In my scenario I had to take my 2 year old into central London during rush hour for a drs appointment with a neurologist. Its a 20min journey, there is no option to drive- in addition to the extra time it takes to drive uptown, the cost to me would exceed £40 (low emission charge £12.50 + £11.50 congestion charge + parking).
There are no seats at rush hour-we are packed in like sardines.
My 2 year old hates being in a buggy and will thrash about and kick her legs and scream. On a peak rush hour train she will inevitably hurt someone, if not herself. I will put on a tablet to keep her calm and in her buggy for the 20 min journey.

A short, limited time on a tablet does not cause damage to the brain or affect normal development.

@Hoik that poster claimed that she is unable to control her toddler and cannot stop him/her running around the train screaming, without giving him/her an iPad.

That giving him/her an iPad, on full volume, is the only way she can stop her child running around the train.

So clearly it's not only for a short time, is it? She is completely dependent on it as she cannot otherwise control her child.