Noise on trains

[Flower884]

Why do parents think it’s ok to let their child listen to a children’s programme loud on a train with no earphones?

I’ve experienced this a few times now on trains and planes. They seem oblivious to the noise.

Another lady has just asked the mum to turn it down as she’s trying to work. The mums response - well my child can’t hear it!

and most people travelling for work will need to do some work on the journey

Being able to work on the train is a bonus...not an expectation.

AllesAusLiebe its not crazy at all. My 2 year old hates a buggy and will kick her legs and scream. I cant take her out of a buggy when there are no seats and I will have 30seconds to get her off the train at the right stop.
Have you ever been on a packed train into central London at 8.30am? Believe me it's not something I would do by choice ever. As also stated on the way back when there are a third less people, I put her on an actual seat and we talk about what we see etc.
If the issue is about disturbing other then I am doing what I need to do not to be a hindrance.
All children are different.

I love the juxtaposition on MN when we question children's sleep vs their behaviour. Parents on here will argue until they're blue in the face that its fine for a 4 year old to wake 6 times in a night and its not down to parenting. Yet a 2 year old who cant sit still for 20mins in the result of crap parenting.

@Hoik you are conflating two different posters. The one who can't control her one-year-old baby without giving it an iPad is not the one who was on her way to a neurology appointment. And there was no suggestion of a tantrum.

no coping strategies other than getting her one-year-old to stare at an iPad

Or that it's one of her coping strategies, to be used in situations like 'moving busy train with lots of other people who don't want to listen to the 1-year-old yelling'?

What's your citation for claiming that all of the evidence of the neurological effects of screen time on very young children is 'over-reported'?

BMJ, 'Effects of screentime on the health and well-being of children and adolescents: a systematic review of reviews', bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/1/e023191. "There is weak evidence that screentime particularly television screentime is associated with poorer educational attainments and has a negative effect on cognitive development in younger children."

OP YANBU

Anyone of any age using a device in a public without it either being on silent or using headphones is being selfish and inconsiderate (or their parent is if they are too little to understand).

It’s a problem that has affected me on every single train journey I’ve taken in recent years.

And I only travel in the Quiet Coach!

most people travelling for work will need to do some work on the journey how inconsiderate- why cant they stay at their desk longer, or wait until they get home. What do they think working people did in the 90s before they had smart phones and lap tops. Crap Adulting

It's almost as if not all parents are the same as each other, and some do their best while others don't give a fuck as long as they don't have to lift a finger.

Just because someone doesn't parent your way, doesn't mean they're doing it wrong.

Do you really pay that much attention to other people when you're out? I'm usually so focused on helping my own DC keep their shit together that other people's children barely register.

'There are certain situations where as a parent the only strategy is get through as best you can. I think a packed rush hour train with a screaming toddler is one of those.'

I'd actually hazard a guess that screen pops out rather more regularly than just 5 mins on a packed train ....for some of the hardcore 'turn up the volume if they want to' brigade.

@hoik. What a disgusting comment. You have no idea what a pp might be attending an appointment for. If you think a,two year old watching a tablet for a short time causes issues so serious they need to see a neurologist then I can assure you 99% of children would be needing to see one.

how inconsiderate- why cant they stay at their desk longer, or wait until they get home. What do they think working people did in the 90s before they had smart phones and lap tops. Crap Adulting

@Hoik Do you really pay that much attention to other people when you're out? I'm usually so focused on helping my own DC keep their shit together that other people's children barely register.

My kids are 9 and 6. They don't need much in the way of me 'helping them to keep their shit together'.

Re: Neurology appointment- I am merely trying to stress the importance of me needing to travel up town at peak time. I wasnt visiting the Aquarium.
It is not something i would ever choose to do!!!! But I get what appointment I get and will not quibble with the timing.

how inconsiderate- why cant they stay at their desk longer, or wait until they get home. What do they think working people did in the 90s before they had smart phones and lap tops. Crap Adulting

Clearly not someone who travels for work ever....let's all put in 18 hours in the office because we shouldn't work on trains!

I think child haters and parent haters need to get over themselves.

The hypocrisy of calling parents and their kids selfish and entitled, while they themselves expect to be catered to with pure silence and absolutely no disturbances from everyone in the general public.

No, love, you just need to learn how to get over yourself and realise that the world around us is a noisy, unpredictable place. If that upsets you, maybe drive.

@Hoik and just to add - my kids are not unusual in this. I went on my eldest's school trip last week, got the tube into central London with 30 kids aged 8 and 9. Except for one child who has SEN and had his own one-to-one assistant with him, every other kid in the class was capable of walking in a group, stopping when told to, listening to the teacher staying with their partner, etc. These are normal kids from a normal London state school in a very mixed area. Perhaps it's having teachers and other parents there that makes them behave sensibly.

What a disgusting comment. You have no idea what a pp might be attending an appointment for. If you think a,two year old watching a tablet for a short time causes issues so serious they need to see a neurologist then I can assure you 99% of children would be needing to see one.

That is not what I was presuming at all and I have stated earlier in the thread that using tablets does not cause damage to brain development.

People are saying to just deal with the tantrum, ignore the tantrum, how badly can one child tantrum, etc so my point was that seeing as the child is seeing a neurologist the parent may not be dealing with only a 'tantrum' and that the 'tantrum' may be more than that. I did not say the tablet was the cause of whatever neurological issues the child has.

I have two autistic children and I have been told before that they are 'only having a tantrum' when in fact they are having a meltdown or are experiencing sensory overload.

It's very simple when you can actually be bothered.

Plan the trip in advance with activities.

Explain before going that trains are a place where everyone should try to keep volume down.

Go shopping together to buy headphones that are comfortable and make it something fun to do.

Have some time to practice wearing at home when using device.

Pick the time they are most likely to be restless on journey for time to watch tablet, play games.

Interact with them about things they see etc...but remind them to keep their voice down when they do.

How hard is this???

The first generation of kids who were entertained with ipads in this way are now turning into the teenagers who listen to music through their phones with no head phones because they've been brought up thinking its normal and acceptable

I have teens. When they were 2 year olds, Snake was as exciting as Smartphones got so it was game boys and portable DVD players for long journeys. I never heard kids on trains, buses and restaurants having the sound on back then. None of them listen to music without Airpods and their friends are the same.
In the case of the OP, a 7 year old understands "headphones or mute"- there's no excuse for being antisocial and playing it with sound.
While I accept that adults can be antisocial too, if I started watching something violent or pornographic, you can bet that the mum would be pissed off. Nobody wants to listen to other people's music or programmes regardless of what it is.

Clearly not someone who travels for work ever
Well Ive never had to work on a train so clearly I can manage my time better than other people who are obviously less efficient and inferior to me..... let me know it you need help with the irony here

@GoldenOmber

BMJ, 'Effects of screentime on the health and well-being of children and adolescents: a systematic review of reviews', bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/1/e023191. "There is weak evidence that screentime particularly television screentime is associated with poorer educational attainments and has a negative effect on cognitive development in younger children."

You win the prize for the most dishonest quoting of anything, ever. Here's the actual findings of that review:

We found moderately strong evidence for associations between screentime and greater obesity/adiposity and higher depressive symptoms; moderate evidence for an association between screentime and higher energy intake, less healthy diet quality and poorer quality of life. There was weak evidence for associations of screentime with behaviour problems, anxiety, hyperactivity and inattention, poorer self-esteem, poorer well-being and poorer psychosocial health, metabolic syndrome, poorer cardiorespiratory fitness, poorer cognitive development and lower educational attainments and poor sleep outcomes.

Conclusions There is evidence that higher levels of screentime is associated with a variety of health harms for CYP, with evidence strongest for adiposity, unhealthy diet, depressive symptoms and quality of life. Evidence to guide policy on safe CYP screentime exposure is limited.

Your misrepresentation of that review has actually genuinely shocked me. I think it's the most dishonest I've ever known someone to be in an online discussion.

The hypocrisy of calling parents and their kids selfish and entitled, while they themselves expect to be catered to with pure silence and absolutely no disturbances from everyone

Exaggerate much? There's quite a gulf between your monastic hyperbole and people being annoyed by selfish parents who inflict noisy videos on everyone else travelling on public transport?

How does that make people "child haters and parent haters"? It's very bad manners whoever does it and whatever they're watching - Peppa Pig, Game of Thrones or hardcore porn.

Everyone seems to have missed OPs point that this child was seven. And she isn't complaining about iPad usage. It's iPad usage with the fucking sound up!!!!!

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/who-guidelines-screen-time/

And here is what the NHS says about screen time, basically that a one size fits all approach doesn't work and parents should approach it on a case by case basis. It also cites a lack of evidence.

These threads sometimes make me great FIL that my womb is a baron desert.

Grateful *