Bank - everyday sexism? Would you complain?

[hoovermoover]

I've recently set up a new joint current account for me and my husband. Im a woman to be clear.

When I set it up I obviously put my details first, and his second. All of the paperwork has arrived in this format. I've arranged everything that has been needed to set it up. I even set up the app on his phone. He has literally done NOTHING apart from say 'yes please' when I talked to him about setting it up.

Today the local branch has emailed ONLY him to welcome him to the bank, and to introduce themselves to him. There is no email to me, and it's specifically addressed to him.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? At the least I'd expect there to be an email to us both welcoming our JOINT business to them.

I am a bit hacked off with being the person who does all of the leg work for everything ever in our house, but is this clouding my judgement? Would you send an email to point out the blatant sexism? So bloody annoying!!

Before you do complain, double check your preferences on how you want to receive things.

When I set up our joint bank account, somewhere down the line, my partners mobile number was for both of us and while I had emails being sent to him, for some reason his was letters

@TripTrappingOverMyBridge Crap and boring stuff is a man's job.

Can you imagine if a man made such a statement.... ⛔❌🆘😳

So it would seem that the account has been created correctly with your name first. Have you logged in to check how the account appears on-line? I woulnd't complain but I would call/go in and ask why you havent been contacted.

I had this with a C&G mortgage. It was solely my mortgage for a while then I added DH to it and from then on they wrote to him. Even though I paid 100% of the mortgage and it was wholly based on my earnings. I did complain and they did change it.

Then I'd marry him like a shot, @HavenDilemma

i set up all mine and dh join account/mortgage he hates all that stuff i dont mind so everything is or shojld be deafulted to me

we get separate emails to do with statments etc so thats good i cant stand all this sexist shite

This happened to my mother. She set up a bank account for the rent from a property she had inherited. After a while they decided to make it a joint account, so she added my father.

Then they got some sort of bonus paid and it was addressed and made payable to him. She rang and complained, explaining that it had been her sole account originally and was told that it was addressed to Mr xxx first "as a matter of courtesy"! She immediately said "Courtesy to whom? Not me evidently!" They had no answer to this.

Everyday sexism as you say pp.

Soooo annoying!
Please complain and please come back and tell us what they say

The bank has already been mentioned on the thread which doesn't fill me with confidence that this is an error. If I don't get an email, I'll complain to them, and get my husband to do it too.

I'll come back and update. From what you all have said this kind of treatment isn't uncommon. Utterly unnecessary and depressing. It is EASY to treat people equally...

Is it possible they sent you an email as well, but it went to your spam folder or something?

@TripTrappingOverMyBridge You'd be welcome to the sexist pig!

I can only imagine that since you were setting up a bank account in your name plus another person’s name that the email to him is to verify that he knows about the account that you set up in his name. They already know you know about the account because you set it up.

And that’s being very generous of me. It is more likely to be sexism.

We get post through individually about our joint account on separate days - maybe wait a day or so before automatically jumping to making rash judgements

I was going to say this, DHs first name begins with A, mine is much further down the alphabet and he always seems to get his letters a day or so before me.

I went in to make an appointment to discuss investing some money and they asked when it would suit my husband to come. I blasted the spotty youth at the counter and made damn sure he knew that women can make decisions about their own money and that we are not in the 19th century. And then complained to the manager.

even if it's automated, someone programmed the system so they will automatically email the male joint account holder only.

I used to work as a programmer for a building society. There were all sorts of complicated rules about who had to be mailed about joint accounts and what salutation to use but, I can assure you, none of ours depended on the sex of the account holder. IIRC the order of the names as account holders was significant. If the mail is going to the DH first that sounds more like he has been entered on the system as the primary account holder despite the order the OP sent them.

TripTrapping - if a man said it about a woman...

Is it possible that they have emailed only him as part of the security process, because you have done all of the 'setting up'?

Regardless of gender; if person A sets up an account for themself and another person, then perhaps the bank might contact person B, just to make sure that they are aware that they have been named on an account.

Your email will come, although it's a joint account emails will be sent individually. There is no such thing as primary and secondary account holders on current accounts now. There is no way this was sent thinking your DH was the one the bank will deal with.

I honestly wouldn't waste your time complaining about this

With it asking about the experience of opening an account, it sounds fairly likely that it's an auto-generated email sent to a random percentage of new customers daily to check that the correct sales processes were followed. Even with a joint account, each party is treated as an individual customer for banking purposes, so it's perfectly possible that only one person would get the random email (back in the days that banks sent out service questionnaires in the post, they would only ever come out to DH or me, never both of us at once).

My bank not mentioned yet, so taking that as positive !

@SunshineCake if a man said anything that hinted at him supporting old-fashioned gender roles, he'd be torn apart on here. I, though, would see him as eminently marriageable.

Everyone is different.

FWIW, I do absolutely everything (single mother), and am fucking sick of it. I would love to find a man who wanted to take over all the dreary, boring, hateful jobs, and who wanted to take responsibility for finances, filling the car with petrol, putting the bins out etc. In fact, I'd shag said man twice a day just to be rid of these shitty jobs.

Do complain. I work for a bank, I'd be entirely unsurprised if the system at this one is set up to address correspondence to Mr rather than Mrs.
When the team responsible are looking at what to fix/improve next they will take into account customer feedback.

We had that for our remortgage. I was the first name on the mortgage, gave my telephone number as a contact but they would instead phone my dp who is ASD, doesn't like phone calls, talking about money and leaves me to sort everything out. It is very annoying and sexist .

I’d love to know which bank this is.
My husband and I bank with the same bank and we have a couple of joint accounts and a couple of separate accounts. We used to get tons of mail from them ( for years and in duplicate) until we went paperless. All the mail was addressed to us separately , even on joint accounts, as it was considered bad practice to just send one letter to both partners or to just one partner, owing to some partners hiding info and safeguarding both parties.
Challenge your bank.

Complain! I had the same when I set up a mortgage with my OH. All of the paper work that arrived was in his name only. I literally arranged everything, I was the one paying the deposit and to start with payments were from my account...but yet my name was no where to be seen on the welcome packs. I had a moan and got it updated very quickly. I was told it was just the way they had always done things, so I pointed out it was 2019! I'm still a bit angry tbh