Bank - everyday sexism? Would you complain?

[hoovermoover]

I've recently set up a new joint current account for me and my husband. Im a woman to be clear.

When I set it up I obviously put my details first, and his second. All of the paperwork has arrived in this format. I've arranged everything that has been needed to set it up. I even set up the app on his phone. He has literally done NOTHING apart from say 'yes please' when I talked to him about setting it up.

Today the local branch has emailed ONLY him to welcome him to the bank, and to introduce themselves to him. There is no email to me, and it's specifically addressed to him.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? At the least I'd expect there to be an email to us both welcoming our JOINT business to them.

I am a bit hacked off with being the person who does all of the leg work for everything ever in our house, but is this clouding my judgement? Would you send an email to point out the blatant sexism? So bloody annoying!!

Well he can send an email, can't he?

So he can reply, saying 'thank you but I'm not sure why you're welcoming me alone, given that hoover is first contact and the person who's set up this account. I believe you have her email address.'

Have you checked your junk mail? Just to check it hasn't been sent there?

My bank emails both of us with standard emails. But sometimes at different times.

Or it's incredibly sexist. But worth checking.

We have a joint email account for this sort of stuff so we would both have seen the email. I'd be fuming it had been addressed to Mr Dis, I set up this sort of joint stuff.

This happened to me too. And it's still the case.
Makes life v difficult and complaining did nothing.

Urgh this is infuriating. Get DH to complain. Men need to complain about sexism too.

I would go on the warpath. I always do.

That warpath is getting worn down. I’m right behind you madcatladyforever ‘deep and crisp and even’

Have checked spam / junk - nothing there. I'd have hoped if it was a automated email they'd have made sure the formatting and style was perfect, and there were no typos!!

We have not previously had a quote for anything from this bank before - we've had a v boring financial history and basically stuck with one account until we needed a new one for unrelated reasons... no mortgage quote for similar reasons.

Lozziegarbanzo - that reply is so good, but a bit of me is irked to have to ask my husband to reply to them because I'm annoyed. I'm perfectly able (and probably a bit too willing if I'm honest) to express my own feelings to them...

Did you set up the account in person in the bank?

If so, they may have given you a welcome pack to take away and clicked a box on the computer to say you've already received your letter?

Online application, neither of us have set foot
In branch. I applied online for us both...

Is it NatWest? I changed my account to a joint account with my husband and they contact him all the time and never me. If I do anything eg set up a direct debit they write and tell him but when he does the same things they don’t tell me and they regularly cancel my card if I use it for large purchases but don’t do the same to my husband.

Complain and shame on social media.

Whatisheupto - good point. If I'm complaining I'll make sure he is too...

Is it LLoyds?

They sent a letter about our joint account only to my DH who was away with work at the time to say they needed to speak to him about the account (joint account details at the top of the letter).

Wouldn’t speak to me at all about anything despite it being joint. I argued for ages with them about it being a joint account therefore anything they had to say to him should also be disclosed to me. They absolutely wouldn’t.

When they eventually spoke to DH it was something they wanted to sell him, some product and not related to the account at all. I complained and got £100 into the account as a goodwill gesture.

Complain to the bank and if possible go to the main media.

Providers of bank accounts needed to be publicly shamed into not doing this.

Definitely definitely definitely complain. If people don’t, this shit will never change. (But check your spam first 😂)

Oops sorry, didn’t RTFT about spam. Name and shame OP!

This has happened so many times to me, including the bonus of them changing my name for me if I've ticked a "married" box. The male name is always put first.

Every time this happens I complain. And then follow up the complaint for further details and explanations beyond a cut and paste response.

I don't kid myself I'm going to change things on my own but if enough of us complain about sexist defaults and then follow up for a proper response we may eventually create more work for them than fixing the in built bias. These are supposed to be businesses wanting our custom after all.

I'm not holding my breath mind you.

Women are still seen as second class citizens everywhere.

My male friend said that "women need to be more assertive" for it to change. That the ones beig sexist will happily keep being sexist as it benefits them. He is right, we need to stand up for ourselves .

Stand up for yourself!

Absolutely get your DH to complain. I honestly believe that we as women can complain all we want, as we have for god knows how long, and the system grudgingly slowly starts to shift.

But if all men who noticed it complained - especially threatened to take their business elsewhere - I'd bet things would improve pretty sharpish.

Which bank it is?

I would be tempted to open an account with another bank, telling them you are doing it because of the casual sexism by this one. Then shut this one down and tell them why.

But I get really infuriated by that sort of thing.

This is bloody horrendous. Mistake or not, complain 100% x

I have this exact same thing with Nationwide!!

Same here. Complained, got rubbish non-response.