Bank - everyday sexism? Would you complain?

[hoovermoover]

I've recently set up a new joint current account for me and my husband. Im a woman to be clear.

When I set it up I obviously put my details first, and his second. All of the paperwork has arrived in this format. I've arranged everything that has been needed to set it up. I even set up the app on his phone. He has literally done NOTHING apart from say 'yes please' when I talked to him about setting it up.

Today the local branch has emailed ONLY him to welcome him to the bank, and to introduce themselves to him. There is no email to me, and it's specifically addressed to him.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? At the least I'd expect there to be an email to us both welcoming our JOINT business to them.

I am a bit hacked off with being the person who does all of the leg work for everything ever in our house, but is this clouding my judgement? Would you send an email to point out the blatant sexism? So bloody annoying!!

Same here. We've just moved house. Dh works out of the country so I've done everything. For this exact reason I put myself down as applicant 1 on all paperwork yet still everything has come addressed to him.

Surely in terms of automated systems it's easier to default everything to applicant 1 than it is to work out which is the male applicant!

Yes it's a small thing but so fucking annoying in this day and age!

Not that long ago - in 2009 I bought a brand new car straight off the dealership lot, it was the first time I'd bought a brand new car (as opposed to used cars) and I funded it entirely by myself. My (ex-p - we weren't married) came along and sat with me while I finished up the purchase paperwork before we drove off in my new car.

A month later, documents for the service plan I'd signed up for and paid for when purchasing the car arrived. In my ex-P's name!! He literally just sat next to me while I signed and paid for everything, he had NOTHING to do with me buying myself a car but the male car salesman clearly assumed he must be the head of the household and therefore in charge of the car purchase. It took too many phone calls and letters to correct the issue and even years later when I took the car in for services they would still look me up on their system and call me "mrs X-P" FFS!

So... is it an automated email, or written by a human?

There's so little decision making at the branches any longer, it's hard to imagine that they have any autonomy where such emails are concerned.

Obviously if a human is making a decision to email your household and they decide it should go to your husband rather than you, that's fucked up because you would have lead status in the account.

I’d give it a couple days to see if an email arrives for you and if it doesn’t I’d complain.

It's funny, I had a conversation (full-blown rant actually) with dh about this yesterday. I also opened a new account a couple of weeks ago, just me. I then asked could I add dh, so we both returned a couple of days later with dh's details to add him to the account.

He got a letter yesterday morning with a code so he can access the account online, he just needed to ring to activate it. So I rang to activate it but no, only he could.

Now I'm thinking more on it and I'm going to email the bank and rant further.

I do love a good rant at times.

Not a bank but years ago my boyfriend (now dh) moved into the flat I owned so I contacted the council to add his name to the council tax, (that was in my name only originally, for my property, and paid from my individual bank account) and they sent the new paperwork out in both our names, but put his name first! It's trivial in the grand scheme of things but I was so annoyed!

I would vote with my feet

What do these companies do when it's a same sex couple, does the system implode. It's ridiculous in this day and age that we still have everyday sexism.

is it an automated email, or written by a human?

even if it's automated, someone programmed the system so they will automatically email the male joint account holder only.

Like there are still some door-to-door salesmen, and car salesmen who won't let the iccle wumman close a deal.

I think this is more to do with you not being able to back out/send them away claiming you’ll “speak to your husband”/etc?

Similar experience with a travel agency. I booked, I paid, DH was just put down as additional passenger. All documents were addressed to him and him only. I complained, travel agent could not understand what the issue was, because they always email the main passenger. Except that they of course didn't.

Did they have your correct email address?

I often get letters generated by computer to Mr (female name) last name.
If I recall correctly my bank always addressed any correspondence to both of us. Don't think they emailed either of us.
I think you should ask the bank as it is a joint account why are they writing to just one of you? If they say it's the system, then tell them the 'system' can and must be changed.

Definitely complain !

It's not an automated email. It has been written on purpose by a human to another human. My husband replied to the person who'd emailed thanking them for getting in touch, and he mentioned it at dinner time thinking I'd have received the same email.

I will give it a couple of days to see if anything turns up before I get in touch with them.

I agree with previous posters - we have made our decision about who is going to be the primary person who will be sorting this out, and we have put them down as applicant 1. The bank can be assured we mean to do this, and can continue to communicate with us, if they need to only get in touch with one of us, it should be applicant 1!!!

It makes me so cross - we have male and female children and the idea that my daughter would be bypassed so someone could speak to her male partner makes me livid in this day and age.

I think it was an airline where if you chose the title Dr, your gender defaulted to 'male' and could not be changed. Their excuse was also that this is just how the system is set up. Yes, so it was set up by someone sexist, how about changing it?

Yes, they have my email address - it's been an online application so everything has come through to my email address.

I'd be delighted at having less shite land in my inbox.

We have a joint account that was where I banked to start with everything is MR A Man and Miss A Woman it is so.bloou annoying it was my account he was added to!

def complain, completely inappropriate

It wouldn't bother me.

However our joint account is Mrs & Mr Witchend Surname because he was added to my account when we made it joint.

I booked a holiday with BA for me and my 2 younger DSes. They keep addressing all correspondence to my DS! He’s 17 FGS! I’m the lead passenger, I’ve paid for it, it’s my email address etc. Just because he’s Mr Martha and I’m Ms Martha! Aargh!

Check your Spam mail just incase

Well... I feel a bit mixed. Given that you are the one who applied for the account, etc, OP, I'd be pissed off.

However, I'd be even more pissed off to have landed myself a husband who was leaving me to do all this kind of thing.

Crap and boring stuff is a man's job.