To hate being at home in the school holidays?

[AAAHHHHH]

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

Fuck off do we live on planet fake, nor are we "instamums"

We're mums who knew what mum life was like before we decided to have kids. I'd recommend it, it saves loads of whinging down the line about how inconvenient your kids are...

Some posters obviously have a crystal ball.

YAB(totally)U

Are you a SAHM? Do you usually have the day to yourself with an audio book? If so how nice! But I’m afraid in the holidays this is your job! 4 year olds are hard work but your expectations are beyond unreasonable.

How can you possibly know what something is really like before you actually experience it? And it very much matters on the child, being as they are all different....

We spent hours and days building a maze out of shoe boxes and loo rolls for gerbils. So much cellotape but the finished product took up half his bedroom floor. The gerbils enjoyed it.

It's a shame because there are some good suggestions on here in amongst all the sneering.

I got my 4 year old to make butter today. Cream in a jar and lots of shaking. Definitely passed a little bit off time whilst I had a coffee in relative quiet

Those who are horribly posting 'didn't you know what having children entailed, you made your bed', etc etc.

Having offspring is (hopefully) for life. You have a baby, a toddler, a pre-schooler, a primary child, a tween, a teen, a young adult and then some.

OF COURSE we are allowed to be enjoy some phases more than others. We all have different skills, strengths and weaknesses.

Blimey. You get fed up with wet-weather cabin fever and you're vilified.

OP - i didn't enjoy the craft / role play / playing phase one bit either but I'm a brilliant 'taker-to-places' , my teens are very loved and they love me.

I don't think they're harmed by lack of den-building in their earlier years one bit

No one knows what it's like being a parent before you actually become one, don't be daft
My kids are grown up now, but IME the ones saying how much they love muddy puddles /crafts/baking etc with 4 ye olds are always the ones who do it once or twice then hand the kid over to granny/etc... Try doing it all day everyday yourself then come back and tell us how fun it is.

@ssd

I totally agree. I find the mums who say they love the school holidays are the ones who have lots of help and support. I'm sure school holidays are much more fun if you know you can hand them over to grandparents at the weekend.

I had no idea what it was like parenting before I did it, how could I possibly?!! There's no TripAdvisor review that really covers it.

OP has said she's having a hard time. IM experience when life is hard, parenting feels the strain, you just want a break and yet having to entertain etc. The fun times are great, but being stuck in doors in February with children can be hard-have been there myself.

This thread seems to be is the ideal place to practice the #bekind mantra that's doing the rounds! Kindness starts with the little things and struggles aren't neatly presented as 'mental health issue here'. Not saying OP has a mental health issue or diagnosing anyone but I am saying, considering what you type goes a long way sometimes.

It does sound like you’ve had a shot day OP and I feel for you. Hope the weather cheers up.
However, thinking that you’re going to be relaxing and listening to an audiobook is not very realistic with a 4 year old with you. Maybe flip it and listen to an audio book with her? There is a Julia Donaldson one read by some great actors: if you and DD listen together with some colouring or Lego out then she may well stop talking for a bit There are also some brilliant Disney Pixar audiobooks with accompanying books: they don’t have to be able to read as there’s a ‘ping’ to turn the c page. I bloody loved these when DS 2 was four because I got a hot cup of tea.
IMO it’s a question of balance. If you’ve been to the library (ours have amazing toys for Pre schoolers to play with for free) or the garden centre (surprisingly interesting for tots!) then there is nothing wrong with snuggling up for a movie afternoon. Enjoy!

Wasn’t being rude about the ‘c page’. Just a typo!

Of course you know it's going to require constant effort.

Even if you aren't able to figure that out (despite it being a tale as old as time) then it largely depends on your attitude. I'm not saying you aren't allowed to complain about it, but the tone being condoned here is one of "fucking kids, don't they know how irritating they are? Constantly asking questions when I've got audiobooks to listen to!"

Yes, you're entitled to your life, but it's half term and now your kids aren't being babysat by their teachers it's your job to take care of them and, dare I say it, enjoy it.

to you OP. Sometimes it is really bloody hard. I'm not sure why you've got so many nasty replies, it's the last thing you need when you feel like this. Hang in there!

@Walkthedinosauuuuur it's great that you knew exactly what parenting would entail but I definitely didn't.

Saying once that you can't listen to an audio book doesn't make a person a bad parent.

Frustrating day/holiday/period - it happens. I've been there, bet others have too.

I feel your pain op.
And to all the perfect parents, it's almost as if all children (and parents) are individuals
My eldest was a nightmare as a baby, really good fun and interesting as a pre schooler and now a very moody 8 year old. The youngest was a dream as a baby and a draining pre schooler...
If the OP is finding it hard, she's finding it hard and no amount of arsily being told to be a parent is going to help.
She just needs to know she's not alone and she really isn't

I'm pretty confident I know why OP is getting the snarky replies. I hope, OP, you're managing to filter out the... erm... less helpful stuff & feel the solidarity & sympathy from less unhinged posters.

I can't remember who posted it, but this is one of my favourite MN posts ever:

'Other people's life-choices are not a criticism of you, you narcissistic numpty'. See also other people's favourite part of parenting, other people's stressors, other people's triggers.

I'm really saddend by all the horrible sneering responses on here along the lines of "it's your own fault for having a child". No substantive life choice is a permanent bed of roses, and it's everyone's perogative to have the occasional moan about those choices or to ask advice about how to cope with the tough times. If someone moans about their husband once in a while is it "their own fault for marrying him" or if their job is tough are they at fault for choosing it in the first place?

I'm a teacher but also a parent to a very active DC. Rather than seeing the whole expanse of the day ahead, do as they do at school and break the day into chunks (1 hour or 30 minutes). Then think what she would do at school, PE - YouTube yoga, art- colouring book, literacy- spellings, read a book together, maths- counting or dot to dot. Also include break time where she has to play on her own or eat snack together. A normal school day is 5 hours, so 7 or so activities. Think of all the subjects she has at school and draw up a weeks timetable. This could be an activity of its own. Remember to include field trips to the shops or library and then make a scrapbook report of the trip with lots of pictures.

So much smugness on this thread. I hear you op, I've got 3 DC and my DD was exactly the same at that age, I used to spend hours playing dolls and other stuff, answering endless questions, at times I did find it soul destroying. It's very long days to be stuck at home with only childish conversation and activities, it's mentally and emotionally draining. I used to try and get out with her as much as possible weather/finances permitting, and also I worked a few long days a week at that point which frankly were a welcome break. Now my dc are all old enough to entertain themselves or each other and I don't miss those days off having to provide entertainment 24/7. When I was a kid growing up in the 80s my mum didn't spend much 'play' time with me, it was left to my siblings or myself to entertain, and I had an amazing imagination, probably thanks in part to being allowed to be bored. Yes you can spend time with your dd but you can't possibly be entertaining 24/7 and she needs to learn to play alone too. Set times and agree with her what will happen when in the day (play games/movie/bit of cbeebies/down time etc) and see if that helps so you both get what you need.

February half term is the worst

Fact.

Go for walks, go to the shops, the library, the (wet) Park, get out every morning

Watch movies in the afternoon

Drink wine in the evenings

I totally agree. I find the mums who say they love the school holidays are the ones who have lots of help and support. I'm sure school holidays are much more fun if you know you can hand them over to grandparents at the weekend

I hate it when the kids go back to school, I get so lonely. I don’t have any help (bar DH)

My 4 year old has just gone to bed! I'm knackered! He usually plays nicely with his 6 year old sister but she's in hospital so it's just been me and him all day (with me having only had a could of hours sleep due to looking after his poorly sister all night). He's actually been really good, but none stop! We've done Lego, duplo, dollies, made dens with sheets, play doh, magic painting with water, watched TV, he's 'helped' get lunch and dinner and wash up, and played outside. My hours sanity was getting out the house with him on his scooter so I could have a walk and get some fresh air (even that's chard work when he's whizzing off!) But on reflection he's been so good and fun, but I'm not use to having to entertain him all day!

Yanbu. It's hard as there isn't much on. I'm a sahm to toddler twins and it's hard when there's groups to go to , but when there's no toddler groups , I'm not enjoying it to be honest. It's hard work. I love routine and our groups. They keep me sane - kids play, run around, more space etc.
Ok , we can bake , draw etc but they get bored quickly and have different ideas of what to do with a crayon etc. You're a teacher , chef , etc. It's good for them to be bored though , you're not a child's entertainer.
You don't have to enjoy it. You either do or you don't and there's nothing with that. But try and make it enjoyable for your sake.