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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being at home in the school holidays?

305 replies

AAAHHHHH · 18/02/2020 15:05

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 19/02/2020 08:13

People suggesting free activities Out of the house need to remember op said she has no money. If she has no car, she cannot get to these places if they are not close. Public transport is very expensive.

Op when i got a dog i discovered wooded paths and fruit picking lanes i never knew were near my house in ten years of living here. Maybe go and explore the local area and get her to draw a map.

If youre sick of roll play and i feels ya you lead the game choice. Board games are my go to, as it means i can still sit and have a cup of tea...

And change the audio book to an actual book. Have a reading hour. She will copy you.

dayswithaY · 19/02/2020 08:13

What a unkind attitude some people have. So smug with your baking and making a den suggestions. Have you never had an off day? A day when you just can't dig deep and find the energy anymore? No wonder women struggle to talk about these things in a world of perfect people who never put a foot wrong. OP fancied listening to an audio book after a morning of being a mermaid and some people have ripped her to shreds then cranked up the smugness level to 100 by droning on about their perfect half term activities.

Remember kindness anyone? Didn't last long did it?

Tumbleweed101 · 19/02/2020 08:13

When mine were little I incorporated ‘quiet time’ into the day. Usually timed it to match nap times of any still sleeping or when they used to nap as it tended to be a natural lull.

For those awake it was the time they sat with a book or film or played quietly alone. It meant I could get some home admin done or even read for an hour. I introduced it when they were little enough to be part of the routine and it really helped me recharge during the day.

hydeandrun · 19/02/2020 08:16

OP, if you were ever to need care, would you be happy to be cared for by jobseekers being forced to carry out care work despite neither wanting to do it, nor havening the right attitude and not the skill set either?

gospelsinger · 19/02/2020 08:17

I also hate being the voice of dolls. I get what you're saying. It's the constant nature of it that gets you down. 1/2 an hour of colouring or playing make believe is fine, but a whole day is boring. My suggestions are - put your wellies on and go buy a bottle of milk; library; find a job you can do with her company, eg sort out her clothes, clean out kitchen cupboard so that you feel something has been done (not too big a job)

Number3or4 · 19/02/2020 08:35

The library or just go to the park. Yes, it is wet and raining but splashing in puddles and getting dirty on purpose can be fun. Make mud cake that she can pretend feed her easiest to clean toy. Followed by a nice warm bath. If she will accept, then a nice afternoon nap. That used to work with ds1 but not my youngest. Afternoon naps are wonderful during the holiday and if it works why not bribe her with baking if she managed to sleep. The sugar in cake will give her energy to burn and get her tried so she could sleep close to bedtime. But of course you would need to facilitate a way for her to burn it of, like a shopping trip or another park run.

Elbeagle · 19/02/2020 08:40

hydeandrun if I ever needed care I’d be happy for it to be carried out by someone who loved me dearly and cared for my every need day in day out, but who may need some down time occasionally, even to (gasp) listen to an audio book.

Flaskfan · 19/02/2020 08:44

And the other problem. With small kids is how early they get up.mine were never up after 6. By 10am, you'd feel like you'd done everything.

They're pre teen now and I get to drink coffee and eat hot x buns while they feed themselves and watch telly.

shinynewapple2020 · 19/02/2020 08:44

@poopbear that's a brilliant list of activities!!

NotEnoughTime · 19/02/2020 17:31

I hope today is a better day for you AAAAHHHH Flowers

Nowayorhighway · 19/02/2020 17:35

I teach so I’m always at home during the holidays and I have four DC. I use the app Hoop to find free or inexpensive events in my local area and we attend those. Museums, art galleries and the library are always free as is the park. Swimming is cheap and movies for juniors at Cineworld is good, it’s only £2.50 a ticket.

When we’re at home we do crafts and baking.

Forgetfebuary · 19/02/2020 18:14

I've only read page one, some really nasty unhelpful remarks.
I have 2 dc and one was a breeze the other very very high maintenance!

Op, for goodness sake let her watch a film!!
February half term is very gruelling. There's only so much interaction anyone can do in one day.

Give yourself a break. Don't make it so hard on yourself.
I'm sure time slots have been mentioned already. Break day into chunks. Mine loved a long bath with toys at this age...

Give her some structure. And let her watch TV, its not going to affect her in normal average busy life. It's what tv is for on wet penniless February half terms!!

My older dc probably watched too much however she's always been very studious, brainy, bookish and is top sets. She now keeps herself occupied in a variety of ways.

Forgetfebuary · 19/02/2020 18:17

Re baking and dens nothing like that held my younger dc attention!!

billy1966 · 19/02/2020 19:11

Such unkindness to the OP.

My 4 children entertained themselves at age 4.
At that age they definitely should be able to entertain themselves a bit.
Obviously popping in and out to see me.

I certainly didn't spend hours on the floor with them.
That would not have been good for my MH
15 minutes was my max on the floor playing and the Mummy had to crack on and do jobs/drink coffee/whatever.

Very hard to be a chirpy parent if you are carrying a lot of worries.

I had a crafting box full of cheap and cheerful things like wine corks to paint, gluing etc.

I hope you feel better soon OPFlowers

Neveranynamesleft · 20/02/2020 19:00

Some people are commenting about 'unkind unhelpful nasty remarks' from others. I feel that if the OP had come on here asking for ideas / tips to entertain a young child instead of moaning they couldn't listen to an audiobook without said child annoying / pestering/ wanting a smidging of attention then maybe there wouldn't be any negative comments.

EKGEMS · 21/02/2020 00:02

Hydeandrun That was a cruel,sanctimonious and smug post! I'm sure your shit doesn't smell either! Get over yourself and pray you don't fall off your high and mighty horse

hydeandrun · 21/02/2020 06:31

EK, my post wasn't actually intended for this thread. reading it it should be obvious as it makes no sense in the context of the OP. but thanks for the warm words anyways Grin

CandyCaneLeBonBon · 21/02/2020 22:30

To be fair @hydeandrun I thought it was meant for this thread too. It wasn't obvious that it wasn't said in relation to the OP

Bikerider2020 · 21/02/2020 22:49

@hydeandrun and @CandyCaneLeBonBon it's obvious that the comment is not meant for this thread! Not sure why your would think it was @CandyCaneLeBonBon ?

Hmmmm2018 · 21/02/2020 23:11

Mine loved to be helpful with me at that age, would spend hours "washing up" the recycling , is a good way to keep them occupied! Though a good old TV afternoon is needed sometimes, make some popcorn and sit down on the sofa and relax together. (promised mine a TV day today as I felt rubbish but they forgot and actually played together nicely for more than 2 minutes)

TheFuzzyStar · 21/02/2020 23:15

I struggle in the holidays too. Particularly when the weather is so bad and hardly any money. I am really bad at role play and that’s all my 3 year old wants to do with his cars! Ignore everyone being mean, it is tough when you’ve got hours stretching ahead of you! And I work with children!

HeyMac · 21/02/2020 23:43

I read the first about 50 posts, mostly from perfect parents... yada yada

I've got one of those 4 year olds - sparky, brilliant, creative, helps round the house, sociable, just all round amazing.

But fuck me... an unstructured day just the two of us can be really really hard going on me. I like to be intellectually stimulated and I'm a fan of audiobooks and podcasts. Nothing wrong with that.

You can't be "on" all the time. I probably use too much screen time but I really can't be on from the minute small child seems to wake me up until they seem to finally stop asking questions and go to sleep Wink

And if all else fails a glass of wine goes far Wine

Justloungingaround · 21/02/2020 23:58

I hope you've had a better few days op.

I actually love age 4, my youngest is 4 and it's awesome, they're generally so easily pleased.

I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect to be able to listen to an audio book, but I understand that sometimes there are days that you just don't want to do it. My dc must say mummy 1000 times a day and I have days I can't be arsed to pour a bowl of cereal let alone play all day. Personally I don't feel guilty about sticking the tv on.

Waveysnail · 22/02/2020 00:38

Oh god I remember that age. Its relentless. I ended up making a time table of stuff to do for holidays just to try and keep sane

PattiPrice · 22/02/2020 03:03

I frequently feel like you OP with my youngest. There is a complete inability to entertain or even try to entertain themselves. Assuming you have tried local free events and you are staying indoors

Things that help:

Put towels on the floor beside the sink and fill a basin with water at the sink. Give them a bottle of washing up liquid and plastic cups. I’ve been known to give a second bottle of washing up liquid to buy me extra time.

Painting. As well as painting on paper, my child likes painting egg cartons etc

Baking but don’t bother trying to make anything that is actually edible if you are already stressed.

Carrots (and a vegetable peeler that isn’t too sharp). This can buy quite a lot of time.

A bath with toys and bubbles will get you an hour. Granted you can’t do much as you have to stay in the bathroom but you won’t have to entertain.

And lastly - leave the house. It is crucial that you change the scenery for both your sakes. Even if it is just a stroll to the nearby shop.