To hate being at home in the school holidays?

[AAAHHHHH]

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

Things I used to do that were free or low cost...

1. Tesco or nearest big supermarket. Put child inside trolley with the scanner. Go round scanning things. Delete everything before leaving obviously. Tesco do free fruit for kids too so they sit in the trolley munching on an apple. Then go in the cafe for a cup of tea and a slice of cake.

2. any local airport near you? They often have a cafe and viewing area. Lots of fun

3. library. See where the nearest big one is, they often do storytime.

4. IKEA. Kids in the crèche. Go have a cuppa in the restaurant childfree

5. Waterstones. In school holidays often have things on

6. invest in a cheap metal detector off amazon/eBay. Spread coins around the house. Let her go find them. Kinder egg for winners treat at the end.

7. Frozen movies or netflix

8. rug on the living room floor. Cuddly toys. Picnic

9. local leisure centre swimming

10. use cereals to make cheerio necklace.

11. sit in the bath with bowls of pasta and cereal and food colouring and things to pour/stir (just in underwear) and let child go nuts

12. invest in child’s CD player/headphones and audiobooks

13. find library that has audiobooks to take out. Make cost den with pillows and let child listen to books

14. drive to the nearest coast. Throw pebbles in the sea.

15. drive to nearest river/pond. Throw pebbles in

16. Nearest big pet shop like Pets at home. They often have show and tell type things where they can strike the guinea pigs. All free.

17. garden centres. Go round all of them as they often sell fish (they love watching fish) and pets.

18. B&Q. Sit child in trolley. Go buy rolls of cheapest gaffer tape. At home let child go nuts with the gaffer tape. All of it. Let them tape up the stairs, run with it taping up the house. Use it as a challenge. Can you use the tape to stop mummy getting up the stairs

19. buy big roll of wallpaper lining paper. Tape big section down on your kitchen floor. Fill the floor. If not raining do it outside. Give child paint. Let then go nuts with the finger painting/cut up potatoes for shapes

20. Sock game. Hide every pair of socks around the house (eg 30 pairs) treasure hunt! Child gets a treat for finding them all

There’s loads more. Have you got bird feeders up in your garden? If not, make loads (with child) Fill them. Get cheap pair of binoculars and print off an ID guide or get a bird book from the library. Morning spent watching the birds and working out what they are.

Oh and sorry but technology is your friend sometimes. Download some peppa pig games! You’ll get your cup of tea then. iPad! Kindle. Brilliant gadgets. My kids do a 3 hour journey in the car silently with a kindle/iPad and pretty much everyone I know and I know a shit load of parents all do the same. Snug up on the sofa and let your child play some iPad games 👍

I remember eyeing up my dd's ear defenders when she was this age and yearning to put them on just to have A Thought without it being interrupted.

Our worst days were when we didn't go out. Exactly what you describe OP, filled the morning with lots of play, have lunch then she was still raring to go and I really, really wanted to just switch off for a bit.

Getting out anywhere was the best thing for me. Prep an easy tea before you go, stay out as long as possible, anywhere, then you're in the home straight when you get home.

Hope that tomorrow is better.

Cutting and sticking is the way to go! Get her to make a collage of red things etc one colour per page. Give her lots of praise for careful cutting out. Brilliant for fine motor skills . All you need is magazines or old cards, bits of wool ribbons etc and some child friendly scissors that cut

Sounds like you need a friend to listen to your worries.
Do you have family or a friend you could talk to?
Do you think you might be depressed? Pretty common at this time of year to be honest!
Be kind to yourself xx

Can't you enjoy her company and forget cleaning? She sounds more fun than you!

I knew I would be bored shitless having kids and listening to (quite natural) noise all day, so I didn't have them.

My mum was a SAHM in the 70's with me and my brother, and she was bored shitless too, but she made us entertain ourselves a lot and I think that was good for us.

It seems there is a lot of pressure nowadays for parents to occupy children every second they are awake otherwise you are a shit parent. Look at the comments on this thread!

The poor OP just wanted to let off steam because it's shit weather, she hasn't got any spare money and is feeling it. Why can't people appreciate that?

Ok, generally I loved the pre- school years and school holidays.

Loads of great suggestions here but I do remember days when the weather was awful and I was at a particular low ebb, rocking up to Pets at Home with 2 dogs, a double buggy and a toddler.
It took an hour to get out of the house and even if we were in the store for only 30 mins, it was still an outing, an achievement.

I remember a particularly kind assistant who made a fuss of the dogs while the children looked at the rabbits, guinea pigs and fish and I had a chance to retrieve my sanity.
Ironically, my oldest DS recalls these trips as great fun.

As a mother of university aged children now, I do recognise mums who are having a rough day and try to help even if it’s just a nod and a smile of recognition.

As a woman in my mid thirties, I am bored to tears at playing toddler games all day too. I also am not about to spend large portions of my day not to mention money, setting up activities and games for DS to play, that hold his attention for all of 5 minutes and take twice as long to clear away.

I do try to get out somewhere he can be active once a day, ideally mid morning, to try and break the day up. It's not always happening at the moment due to the crap weather and my being heavily pregnant and less mobile than usual, but I do try.

When we are in, DS is playing with his toys, and I am in the same room but doing my own thing really. I try to have a podcast or LBC on for something to listen to. Otherwise i might read or mumsnet for a bit. Means I can chat to DS and he can show me what he is doing or ask for help with something, but I am not having to actively play with him.

You can't listen to an audiobook? Really? Surely you don't expect to do this while looking after your child? You need to find things you both enjoy. Please don't just stay in the house - that's enough to drive anyone mad.

Sorry, why can't the daughter be playing or doing whatever while the mum has something interesting such as an audiobook on in the background? Why does looking after your child equate to being directly and actively involved in everything they do?

The days that we didn’t do anything were really difficult. If we didn’t get out, dc would just be fed up and I would be more short tempered.

That’s how I learnt to plan something for every day even if it is a supermarket trip.
We did a lot of free stuff and went out for walks even in the rain and cold. Taking hot chocolate makes a difference.
On ‘quiet’ days, we did something low key in the morning, lunch, an activity at the table after lunch - anything like sticking cut up leaflets and magazines on to paper, drawing, arts and crafts, play doh, or baking.
Then it was tv or film for dc and I just chilled by myself.

This is why people entertain the ides of having a second child, so they can entertain each other.

I’m staying with family and it’s a million times easier than being at home, mostly due to extra hands and adults to laugh at the frustrating stuff with rather than get fed up.

Honestly I find playing unbelievably boring. At 4 though you can start to teach your child some easier adult games and that makes it slightly less bad. Also TV in abundance. I don’t even feel bad. February is horrible. In the summer we will frolic through fields, pick fruit, walk in the woods and all that lovely stuff. But right now it’s hunker down and survive time.
Audio book wise, sit on the sofa with ear phones and cuddles your child whilst they watch their tv show. Is it epic parenting? No. Will it pass a mostly happy, wet, cold, grey afternoon? Yes.

Totally agree that 4 yr olds can be relentless. Today we went to B&q! Not to buy anything, but just to get out of the house. Wind and rain means no park and difficult to go out splashing puddles with baby in pram.
Sometimes we go down to the shopping centre and just wander up and down the elevators then come home and let her have a long bath.
We don't normally go out every day but I find she sleeps much better if she's had that excitement of going out.

well at least you're at home and not flooded out of it.

Hi op sorry you are finding it tough. Have you looked at libraries they generally have craft sessions in the holidays, do you have free museums near us they always have things on in the holidays . Do you have a local childrens centre ? Ours does stay and plays in the holidays , look at council swimming pools some of them do a free family swim. If the rain isnt really heavy I would just put water proofs on and go out let her splash in puddles ect. Nature detectives is a good website for printing nature hunts ect and then you can go out for a walk and find the things. When I am a bit tired we make a reading den and snuggle up under blankets and read stories. Jigsaws ect do good for quiet time.

Hahahaha audio book! I’ve got a four year old too, so I do understand how full on they are.
My eight year old doesn’t play alone in his room yet, I look forward to the day he does. Luckily he entertains the four year old for me.
Parenting is hard, everyone gets exhausted now and then. It won’t last, soon they’ll be slamming their doors and ignoring us. Only five days to go of half term!

Some awful replies in this thread. The kindness thing didn't last long. Who knew!

Everyone needs a break op. I felt exactly the same. I find young kids so boring. Reading some of the suggestions actually makes me feel a bit sick.
I only have one child for this reason. She is 11 now and amazing. We can do loads more fun things together. It gets easier.

Comments like parent your child are not helpful to someone struggling. Ideas great, but berating absolutely not.

Good luck Op. it will pass.

Yet another thread where apparently it's not acceptable to come on Mumsnet, the clue is in the name, and have a good moan about being a parent.

OP, just realise that AIBU is full of people who couldn't look after a balloon without bursting it. You've received some good advice, ignore the nasty and unrealistic idiots.

Play in her room at 4?! My 8 year old still doesn’t do that !
Thankfully she does love arts and crafts though so has been making dolls clothes (and a mess) these past few days . She asked dh for a hot glue gun yesterday and thankfully I overheard and put a stop to it as he was nearly swayed !

And according to 1970s parenting, the child would have been thrown outside with a stick (if she was lucky) and told to go and play in a grain silo/in the middle of a road/on a railway track/up an electrcity pylon.

1970s parenting was so shit that the Government had to make a whole series of public information films to stop parents from allowing children to do the above.

You are doing great, OP.

I have a 4 and a 6 year old. I stuck them in front of a film yesterday afternoon whilst I chopped veg in the kitchen listening to an audio book! It can be done.

It always makes me chuckle when posters suggest " going to the park and feeding the ducks"

Our local duck park is 50 minutes walk each way for those who don't drive and you have to pay for the duck food (unless the park have decided they've had too much and stop selling them for a while!)

I'm stressed out right now and have a lot of worries on my mind today

I hope you are feeling a bit better today OP.