To hate being at home in the school holidays?

[AAAHHHHH]

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

Hobbycraft does free craft sessions. You have to book online but mine loved them

Can't believe these responses, how are people so self-righteous??

If a 4-year-old has never driven you up the wall then you must have miracle levels of patience.

She doesn't sound ridiculous to me. She sounds like she needs adult conversation and a cuppa in peace after 4-5 days of her child being home.

Mines also abit hyper and full of energy. They are used to the school day now and the routine. They are used to being with friends and having activities to do. It's normal for them to have way to much energy in the holidays. It does get abit much.we do our best to occupy them. I can't wait for mine to go to bed tonight. I have not managed to tire her out today.

I love the holidays in that I don't have to do the school bloody run. Other than that, it can be tough and mind numbingly boring, there's no questions about that. Unless you have a ton of money to throw at the problem which we don't. When mine were that age I would force myself to do one or two things with them every day (mainly so I didn't feel guilty for crap parenting) and then let them get on with it. I suppose having two who were close in age helped a hell of a lot. But I would dread the paint coming out and the mess that ensued. And that they weren't particularly bothered about what we had just done, immediately after we had done it. I guess that's just kids. Or mine anyway. Suggest building den and watching film. Wellies and coats and off to the park. If you just do a few dedicated things for them each day it takes away the guilt and stress. We are not meant to be their entertainers. We are there mothers. And obviously I love them to bits.

I have a 4 and 2 year old...

We go out in wellies and splash suits in the rain(I wear a big coat).

We go to the free museums in town.

We paint.

We bake (always have basic baking ingredients in).

We watch films.

We go to the free city farm.

We go to the beach.

I usually save 20-30 pound for activities ie softplay one day/play cafe the next.

When mine were your dc's age op I used to leave them to play by themselves for parts of the day whilst I got on with household chores or simply just sitting down for a hot cup of tea.

They would play with their toys, such as their toy kitchen, or with the Lego or Playdough. They'd watch TV. They'd potter in the garden whilst I would watch them from the dining room or the summerhouse.

I never did hours and hours of pretend play or whatever. If course I'd talk to them, answer their questions, do experiments with them, read and do puzzles with them and take them out etc but I never did what it sounds like a lot of people on here do. I allowed them to be bored and find their own fun whilst I supervised.

Op, it's fine to leave your dc to potter. Yes, obvs talk to them and be available to them but you are allowed to rest during the day as well. Play your audio book through a Bluetooth speaker so you can hear it as well as your dc?

You're allowed to be tired. Kids are hard work and you're doing your best. Fuck the people who've been shaming you on this thread.

This is the worst school holiday of the year, dark dreary days. Some good ideas on here. I think it must be harder if there are no siblings.

@MunaZaldrizoti

This.

Our cineworld does cheap mornings. I admit to nodding off when going there

I'm finding it hard this half term too. I usually have the holidays off as work term time but I'm feeling anxious and just want to be away from everyone. Dp is unusually off with us so he is with dd but then I feel bad that I'm not playing with her or even wanting to be around them.

If you get dining chairs in a square facing outwards and throw a big sheet over them secure with pegs, you have an indoor den, tent.

I feel you, OP. Ignore all the sanctimonious twats posting on here. I have a daughter the same age and feel much the same as you today. I love her dearly but she is hard work and we get no help from family. I also have depression (and had terrible PND) and lots of stress/worry at the moment which is exacerbating it. I’ve managed to plod through by keeping her busy, first with a walk around the shops (didn’t buy anything) and then colouring and playing with toys at home this afternoon.

I wish people would have some more empathy before they post nasty comments - you just don’t know what someone is dealing with. I went through years of infertility and then an IVF cycle to have my much wanted daughter, doesn’t mean I don’t find some aspects of parenting really hard based on what I outlined above.

BE KIND, always.

I've had ds 6 friend round for couple hours today to break the day up and for company for him,could you have a friend over for her?

Sorry didnt rtft

People find different stages harder or easier than others. I struggled with the baby/toddler stage but love it now my kids are older and can engage in things which I find a lot more interesting! Science experiments and reading mythology and going to museums where we can stop and look at things and talk about them and walks where we aren’t dawdling along at toddler pace! It doesn’t make you a bad parent to get bored playing cafes or shops or whatever endless make believe game a four year old wants to play.

I had a second child so they would entertain each other and it did work though obviously I’ve had to do a lot of refereeing. Yesterday I did sit in the kitchen and listen to an audiobook whilst they played!

I never tied myself in knots about screens - sometimes they keep everyone sane. Meeting up with friends who have similar aged kids was a lifeline. Free activities in museums and libraries were a godsend. It gets easier and no one is good at everything so there will always be some bits of parenting that are tough.

If you are really struggling, I would break out the screens - tv or kindle or iPad or whatever, ignore the mess and sit down with a coffee and a book. I think it’s good for kids to not be constantly entertained by an adult anyway.

What did you expect from Motherhood ? You dont have time for a wee in peace never mind listen to a bloody audio book. Why do you want to ignore her ?

I use an alarm clock (well, Alexa “wake me in 20 minutes”). 30 mins play with me, 20 independent play (during which time I usually pretend to be busy doing Some Boring Work). Often once they get engrossed in the independent play the 20 mins becomes 40 mins or even an hour. Doesn’t always work but usually does. You have to be strict with enforcing it but many/most kids get the idea soon enough.

Though having said that, with my 3.5 year old, 2-3 hours independent play a day is definitely a good day.

Yep, the holidays are hell. Only two days in, and if the little monkey wasn't napping right now, we'd probably be locked in separate rooms crying our eyes out!

And, tbf, today has been pretty good: cookery class in the morning, mini-concert with music-themed craft at lunchtime then a 'play protest' event at the gallery next door (the latter was a bit poncey, but monkey enjoyed the animations). But even with that, it's felt like an endless battle about getting her to eat something, ideally not comprised solely of sugar and E-numbers. Getting her to remember about going to the toilet (those early weeks of life after nappies - feels like carrying a UXB everywhere). Getting her to accept that if we want to stay longer, we need to spend 10 minutes going back to the car and paying for a couple of hours more parking, and we need to do that 5 minutes ago before I get fined. Mummy is home from work in half an hour, which is when I'll start my work and, frankly, I'll be glad of the distraction. Mummy won't be, so I'll put on my best sympathetic look.

Can't offer much advice, except to look up what your local museums, libraries, galleries etc have in the way of free kiddie activities. And take a chance on whatever they offer. You might not think your child is interested in anything that doesn't have Peppa Pig all over it (other exercises in promoting plastic tat are available), but give her a chance and you might surprise everyone. And you won't have to pretend to be a piece of sentient carrot having a chat with a highly-evolved chunk of fish finger for the 100th time this week.

Good luck, and remember that some days all you can do is get through it.

I would suggest 15 minutes full attention playing with her (take it in turns to choose what you play) then 15 minutes independent play with you nearby. Repeat. One hour relax/sleep time in the early afternoon after lunch - lie on bed with books, cuddly toy. Sleep if she wishes to (enforce this - she needs it, actually, you do too). Then after this hour, full attention again with her to make a snack together/paint/whatever. And unless the weather is really bad, get out for at least an hour a day (or twice x 30 minutes) so you both get fresh air. Mine are raised now but this worked well for us all and I loved that stage when a shiny stone was a treasure and snail hunts and the care of them afterwards were fun. I had off-days too, lots of life stresses and not much spare cash, I know it can be tough. Being inside all day will not help either of you.

I never tied myself in knots about screens - sometimes they keep everyone sane.
Exactly, everything in moderation. I probably watched 3-4 hours a day TV growing up, as most of us did. That’s definitely a lot too much IMO, but I turned out fantastically amazing anyway (kidding).... I guess the difference is that back then most of us watched progressively LESS screens as we grew up and hit our teenage years and went out and read books and got into bands etc ... whereas now it’s just more and more and more ending up with 8 hours phone time a day and hours mindless swiping on social media. That’s a far bigger worry to me. It’s social media and mindless swiping that’s the threat to our brains and development, not an hour or two of cartoons.

I get bored with the hum drum of parenting at times doesnt mean I shouldn't have had a child,I absolutely adore him but I prefer adult activities and I'll admit it.
I'm not a role play parent,silly voice parent or climbing a tree parent but I'm a jigsaw parent and a reading and spelling parent and most of all a protect you forever parent.You cant help what you enjoy and dislike,all you can do is your best.

You're doing great! It's really hard. Alot. And it's OK to feel fed up and to want to talk to an adult.