To hate being at home in the school holidays?

[AAAHHHHH]

I'm at home with my 4 year old and she's driving me crazy. She won't stop talking, I can't even listen to an audiobook.

Everytime I tell her to play in her room, she just follows me. I can't get much cleaning done and theres no point really as she keeps making a mess.

We cant go anywhere as theres nothing to do for free (no money atm) and it's raining so the park is off our list.

I feel terrible as well, because shes so inquisitive but I just really hate having to tell her why and what and how to nearly everything.

LoneMULF I knew I’d find the sleep deprivation of having a child hard. Doesn’t mean I don’t moan about it every now and then. Are you saying you have never complained about anything you’ve done that you chose to do?

Of course parenting is fucking boring at times

Amen.
Also, I love my DS but I really didn't have a clue what having a child would be like. I'm one of 4 very close together and my DM went on and on about how it was the greatest thing imaginable and what a good mother I would be. Didn't know anyone my age with children at all so never really had an insight that way. I love children but I didn't know anything about babies. So it is possible to be completely surprised by some of the negatives.

@LoneMULF

With all due respect you have NO idea. You can want children, love your children and overall be pleased you had them but only a fucking saint would enjoy every single minute of parenthood.

Hello Op

I am a mum to one. He’s in his mid teens now and I love him to bits.

But - parenthood was hard / boring / limiting etc etc and that’s why I didn’t go on to have more children. I decided that one was quite enough.

On the other hand though, she is your kid and seems like you have at least one more to grow up yet, so you better accept that this is your life for thirteen weeks of the year.

@LoneMULF

If you had had children. You would of loved parts and disliked parts. Believe me. It's not a perfect picnic in the park for anyone. People who have kids are allowed to not love every moment. It's hard work in places for a variety of reasons. She will enjoy her child most of the time. But like anything else in life we need s break. My break is at 7.30 at night. My partner comes home and I go in the bath and sometimes play music on my phone so I can't bluddy hear the kids downstairs. I also sometimes like a cuppa in silence. But that doesn't mean I don't do things with them. Yesterday I played Lego with mine. Then. After half an hour I said mummys backs aching now so I'm going to sit on the sofa. She said ohhhhh I want you to play. I said I have played and she can carry on. Kids need to learn to amuse themselves some of the time. How are they ever going to be creative and independent if they can't entertain themselves for half hour sometimes.

Also the things that keep my child quiet lead to chores. Like kinetic sand. Playdoh. Painting. Lego. She's a lazy tidier so I end up with more jobs after she's finished.
I think you are being judgey

Wonder why...

I also think people can come across as smug. I had 2 kid 15 months as a consequence was a sahm until one was in R and the other in playgroup. Whilst I loved the bloody bones of them it was extremely boring and exhausting a lot of the time. I used to wait till they were asleep and refill my love by looking at them when they were not whining. And I did all the proper stuff too, i'm a teacher! It doesn't mean it's not enough to send you over the edge.

I could NOT do museums. Stress city. Libraries? For a bit. Mostly just outside, outside, outside. My plan was to knacker them and it mostly worked. Plus I got some vitamin D. I invested in a decent flask and lunch kit and honestly, the most peaceful times were having a coffee while they launched themselves into mud etc. Luckily I live rurally so there's lots of that.

Going back to work felt like I got to have a proper conversation again - and that was with kids as a teacher! There's a lot of toss on mn about being a sahm. Don't let it worry you. Honestly, my sahm years were my Nam. I cried more then than in my first 2 years teaching.

Well no, I haven’t moaned about it on the internet either. Doesn’t mean the OP can’t though.
My best friend is a child protection social worker. Personally, I couldn’t imagine a worse job so I would never, ever do it. But I would be a bit of a dick if whenever she had a moan about some of the awful things she deals with I said ‘well you chose the job, you should have known it would be like that’. A bit of empathy usually helps.

But parenting is for life.

I hated the stage the OP is at: it's so fucking boring.

I love it now they're older.

There's some weird virtue-signalling happening in this thread. It's like if you chose to be a doctor, you'd have to love every moment of it and never complain, or why would you do it in the first place?

Lots of MRA twats in here today.

Here's some OP.

Leave the OP alone!

But I imagine she does enjoy it a lot of the time. Just not today, when it’s pissing it down with rain, she’s got no money and she’s got some other shit going on in her life. She doesn’t have to enjoy it every day.

dont have kids

its great

It's a bit of trial and error until you find something that they like that you do too.

I loved reading to the dcs, doing jigsaws, going to the library, for a walk etc etc BUT make believe - just noooooooo. Couldn't do it. I dislocated my jaw once I was yawning so loudly whilst having to play Barbies where they had to go round to each other's houses and have tea.

Etched on my memory is arranging to meet up with another mum for a walk in the park. I had envisaged us chatting whilst the dcs rampaged. Oh no. This mother threw herself into a full re-enactment of We're Going on a Bear Hunt. I was open mouthed as she was snaking along in the grass/swinging from a branch and so on. I was half admiring half horrified and wholly ashamed at the fact that it would never have occurred to me to do this.

@loneMULF

Right so your an expert on parenting and how we should feel??? I don't think so. I wanted my kids and I love being a parent. Some days are abit shit. It's normal. The only one I've ever met who loves it all is one of those mum's who did every baby group. Makes fancy cakes and always makes sure her kids got the best costumes at school on any event where a costume is required. She always calls her child little poppet. She ways stages her pictures in her shabby chic home and her kids clothes match the decor. I'm sorry I don't even think she's loving every second. It's fake.

As your daughter is only 4, you're still new to the school holidays. I find it really helps to plan ahead by researching what free events will be on, and putting money aside each month into a school holidays fund to pay for things to do. If I go more than a couple of days without a plan, I would go insane in the holidays. You also have to be prepared to do the messy activities you normally avoid, which takes a bit of mental adjustment (my personal ones are making slime and building massive cardboard box forts ).

IrmaFayLear I’ve got a friend like that. I see a trip to a park with other parents and their kids as a chance for the children to run around like loons together while we chat. Last time we did this, she tried to arrange an adult and child game of rounders. Just why?!

Now would be a good time for everyone to practice 'being kind'. It costs nothing!

I would also add that my children are quite a bit older than four, and there is still no way I could listen to an audio book during the holidays!

I sometimes found these days tough and relentless at the time but I genuinely miss them now (sorry I know that doesn’t make you feel any better but it’s true). Completely agree with a pp about getting out every day. There is loads you can do for free. Museums, library or the park with the right gear. I think getting out of the house, even for an hour really helps. Also try getting some building toys such as Lego, that you can play together and keep them busy but don’t require pretending or scrubbing carpets!!

Hope you feel better tomorrow.

@Lonemulf

I have no idea why you've decided to comment on this thread. These boards are supposed to help parents. There's lots of threads where parents need support...do you go on all of them to comment about your superior choice to remain childfree? It's a long old slog...newborns, babies, toddlers, childhood, tweens, teenagers? Do you really think even the most saintly, happy parent could get through 18 years of that without ever struggling?