Unreasonably irritated that only about 8 people call me by my correct name?

[Imnotcalledthat]

It’s unusual, granted but I didn’t choose it. Still, it isn’t hard to say.

A handful of friends and my sister are the only ones who say it correctly. Everyone else says a similarly spelled but very differently pronounced name.

Imagine if your name was Joan and everyone said Joanne ... it’s that sort of idea.

It doesn’t matter how many times you correct them.

Should I just give in and accept I’m a Joanne to most people?

Oh I hate this!

I use a short diminutive of my (pretty common) full name. There are several ways you could spell this diminutive with the most common ending in ‘y’ (think Nicky) but I end mine in ‘i’ (So, for example, Nicki)

I get the full range of spelling options. For over 40 years I have used my version. On cards, letters, emails, texts, social media etc etc but still people get it wrong. I even have people who have used the correct form for years suddenly change. Relatives get it wrong.

To me is seems so very dismissive and just generally careless and does nothing for my already shaky self-esteem. Especially when other people with equally multi-spelling names don’t ever seem to have this problem!

Same issue.

But the most annoying thing is when people call you "Joanne", you point out it's actually "Joan" and they say "oh, it's the same thing". NO IT ISN'T!!!

My name is Siobhan.

In my 29 years, I have simply accepted it.

Just keep correcting. What I have found irritating for the last 60 years is the necessity for every nurse and teacher to comment. "Ooh that's unusual, where does it come from, how come your mum and dad chose that". It's a Scottish name but quite posh. Would they do it to a bame person? I doubt it. It's borderline offensive.

I think some people just have a mental block, or are being obtuse on purpose to get a rise.

My mother still cannot pronounce my married surname. Granted, it's not English, but I have told her SO MANY FUCKING TIMES. It is TWO syllables. Think KRA-vitz. But she insists it's Kra-VITZ.

@Bawbags I have the same issue! It drives me batshit. I have a friend called Dave who I took to calling Davina every time he called me Emma. It sunk in eventually!

It is annoying, my daughters name is Amelie and for some reason everyone seems to hear ‘Emily’ and calls her that. It’s almost as if people are scared to use a name they’re not very familiar with and resort to the closest familiar sounding thing. Fair play to her she corrects people every time so I do it now too, it’s infuriating it’s not hard to say and it’s just rude/lazy!

@SayNoToCarrots is that all English or just regional accents? I have a niece called Claire. She lives up North and in her town they pronounce word such as chair as churr, Claire as Clurr and there as Thurr.

However a few miles down the road they pronounce them as Chey-ur, Cley-ur and they-ur.

It isn't so much as pronouncing a name incorrectly but simply saying it in your own accent.

I have the same and I just accept it, I find that in England people are generally not that good with foreign names, and they are usually quite proud if they get an approximation of my name, and I don't want to be mean/rude/difficult

I knew a few Suzanne's. When I worked for a boss called Suzanna her eyes would go wide when I forgot to say the a at the end. I would literally say, " hi Suzanne.....a!" Its a habit of saying more common names, when an unusual one pops up, it doesnt stay in my mind.

@SayNoToCarrots, it’s a thing that if two sounds are not distinct in your language then hearing the difference is very hard. It’s why the stereotype of Japanese people confusing L and R because they are not distinct phonemes in Japanese. So it’s true that sometimes we literally don’t hear the difference in sounds. As a welsh speaker for instance r and rh are different sounds but most non-welsh speakers won’t hear it.

Nobody can pronounce my married surname. Nor spell it. Even when I spell it out, they repeat it back wrongly. It's a short simple 5 letter Welsh surname, no double letters or unexpected pronunciation, but not even my own family say it right!

I have a Greek name which is OK to pronounce for Greeks, but rare so a few people mix it up with similar Ancient Greek names. It is almost unknown among English speakers which throws many people, plus it seems to be difficult for English speakers to pronounce, some can't even say the FS sound it has, they say SF or SS. French people on the other hand find it easier to pronounce.

I order taxis and pizzas as Mary Smith.

I feel your pain! I have a Polish name which is actually the diminutive version of an even longer Polish name! It does not sound the way it looks - well, not unless you're Polish! I've had every possible alternative to my actual name over the years and in spite of me telling people several times how to pronounce it, they still get it wrong. It can be very frustrating: from the teacher who used to call me Miss--- rather than try to say it correctly , to the granny of the children I was an au pair for who said, 'oh I'll just call you (insert name here) instead - it's easier.'!!! It's certainly a conversation starter, but it does make you feel like the person doesn't really care about you when they keep getting it wrong. Either that or they're tone deaf!

I agree that some people do seem to have a genuine mental block and just can’t do whatever the brain needs to do in order to correct it no matter how many times it’s pointed out. That doesn’t account for the vast majority of people who just don’t listen or care enough to get it right.

I don’t think it’s just unusual names either that people get wrong either. My name is one of the commonest names going and it seems obvious by the way it’s spelled how you say it, but it’s amazing how many get it wrong. Same with my DGDs. Again the spelling of both names seems to clearly show how you’d say it, but both get the wrong pronunciation. They are pretty standard names.

@bawbags my name is not actually claire 😂. It is most English accents, except some scouse people. Irish people are great at it.

Maybe it's just a few of us but I really try to make sure I'm pronouncing people's names correctly. I have two Russian friends with very Russian sounding names and their kids are the same. I asked them a few times early on how to say them and I make sure to say them now using the proper way, even if sounds odd to me speaking in a completely foreign accent. It was quite funny getting them to break them down into syllables and copying the 'Zsa' sort of sounds unfamiliar to me.

Before I said my neighbours names out loud to them in the first few conversations I made sure to check their facebooks and to listen to what they called each other, especially as one has an unusual nickname and I didn't use it until I was sure of exactly what it was (think something pronounced like Bew-ey and not Bowie)
I cannot understand why they won't show the same curtesy.

Also, the sounds in my name do exist in English (I'm english, and so is my mum, and we can both say it), it's just that when you pronounce it wrong it sounds exactly like a different word that they are more familiar with.

Isn't clare / clur a regional accent thing? My Mancunian family who call me kay-teh instead of kay-tee aren't wrong as such.

Again, @EstebanTheMagnificent, not actually called Clare.

OK, Carrots. It was your choice of example. My point about regional variations still stands.

Sometimes its rudeness, sometimes its because they haven't heard the name before so automatically interpret as the name they are familiar with. Unfortunately that is the risk of using a unique name. I worked with a girl with a very unusual Irish name, I had to write it out phonetically in my notebook and glance at it every day for the first few weeks until it stuck. I also made an effort to learn the correct spelling though she didn't get too worked up about people getting it wrong. I do think its polite to make an effort for a friend or colleague.

I wasn't actually thinking about yorkshire/lancashire accents when I made that example. Maybe I should have said Clare/Clahr.

There's a difference in doing your best in the face of different accents and not trying to get the right name at all.

The locals in my county often sort of twist names around so a single syllable name like James becomes Jay-ums. I'm doomed either way because either I say it "normally" and naturally and get moaned at, or I have to really contrive it, sound insincere, and still not get it right. Very different to call "Jay-ums" James in my own accent to randomly calling him John because I just feel like it.

Also, I was saying it more as a response to people who were saying "just keep correcting them" to others whose name is said incorrectly. Sometimes people cannot grasp the correction.