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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder if this could be more? Think I’m in love with my best friend

731 replies

captainamericassexybeard · 18/02/2020 05:38

Have name changed for this because my other friend is on here and knows my username and I think I might combust with embarrassment if she came across this and clocked it was me (the wedding details might be outing).

I briefly “dated” a guy as a young teen and then we became really good friends and stayed that way, pretty much best friends ever since - purely platonic.
He’s a very attractive guy but I’ve genuinely never ever felt anything for him other than platonic love. Mutual friends have always said they don’t know why we aren’t together and some of my newer female friends have commented that they think there could be something there, but until recently I’ve always thought it was funny and brushed it off. I would have gone as far as to say we were like brother and sister!

Recently we went to a wedding together as I needed a plus one, and I don’t know what happened but it’s like I’ve suddenly seen him in a new light. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we had a great night as always when we are out but it’s like something has clicked in my brain and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

We are going to another wedding together on Friday, I’m returning the plus one favour and I’m really ridiculously nervous! I feel like I’m going to act weirdly or something or get drunk and say something and we’ve been friends for nearly 17 years now so I don’t want to ruin it! I’ve been avoiding him all last week because I think I’ll just go red or make it really obvious that something has changed.

I’m mortified at being such a cliche and reading this post back it sounds like the set up
For a VERY bad romcom. I’m a bit beside myself. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything at all, and how on earth I tell if he could like me more than friends (inwardly cringing).
Jesus I’m too old for this shit.

OP posts:
wehaveafloater · 20/02/2020 20:15

No garlic in your dinner tonight !!!

Have fun tomorrow !

IamRhubarbBikini · 20/02/2020 21:30

Good luck for tomorrow OP!

binkyblinky · 20/02/2020 21:34

This needs to be made into a film - looking forward to hearing your happy ending! X

FaithInfinity · 20/02/2020 22:24

Aw I really hope it works out for you! I’ve had this a couple of times in the past. Once, I had a male friend I had always found attractive but I was never sure he was interested. One night we were out with a couple and suddenly we were kissing! We both looked quite surprised afterwards! After it kept happening over the next couple of months we decided to go out and see what happened...we went out for a couple of months. It didn’t work out but I don’t regret it and we stayed friends. In my other situation my friend and I got very drunk together and he tried to kiss me...I wasn’t interested (I was in a relationship with someone else and completely smitten!). But because we were drunk he just pretended he was joking. We remained friends and it was never mentioned again!

You have to go for it! Smile

shinynewapple2020 · 20/02/2020 23:52

Some lovely stories on this thread. Good luck for tomorrow OP Smile

theemmadilemma · 21/02/2020 00:06

I'm completely placemarking as I love a good love story!

Qwerty543 · 21/02/2020 00:14

I also reckon the barking up the wrong tree comment is because he thinks you don't like him like that. Fingers crossed OP!

tiramisususu · 21/02/2020 00:42

Blatant placemarking. Good luck OP!

ByeMF · 21/02/2020 00:58

Oh blimey, good luck! I was in your shoes - I got very drunk and told him. We were a couple for years and have lovely children. Although we have now split up, we're still really good friends!

theneighbourswindchime · 21/02/2020 01:17

Good luck today op!!!

Bool · 21/02/2020 01:29

Blatant place marking. Have fun OP

Pandamittens · 21/02/2020 01:40

Good luck OP

Original poster
captainamericassexybeard · 21/02/2020 02:01

@Gobbycop your post really made me laugh

Thank you so much everyone
My bloody shower has broken - this isn’t an omen right?! The little nozzle thingy that switches between bath and shower has got bloody stuck so I can properly have either. Not what I had in mind for getting ready in the morning 🙈

OP posts:
Doubleyouexwhyandzed · 21/02/2020 03:32

OMG it’s so obvious he likes you!
He’s obviously talking about you whe he said she doesn’t want to marry me and barking up the wrong tree because he thinks you’re not interested.
Go get your man!!

Original poster
captainamericassexybeard · 21/02/2020 05:18

I hope so @Doubleyouexwhyandzed Blush
But I just don’t know!

I’m up early again as I have a deadline before
I get ready. Wedding starts at 11. Shower still not working.

ShockConfusedBlushGrin

OP posts:
Meanroda · 21/02/2020 05:29

Good luck OP!

CuriousCapricorn · 21/02/2020 05:50

Have just read the whole thread and am rooting for you op.

Re the shower- are you a member of a gym? If so- head there and have a shower.

Wise words from my dearly departed dgm- “what’s for you won’t go against you”
Good luck lovely Flowers

fromagefreak · 21/02/2020 05:56

Good luck for today - thinking of you. I'd use the bath instead of the shower and start running it along time before you need it if there's only a trickle.

IslaMann · 21/02/2020 05:56

Enjoy today. Don't try to force anything, if it's meant to happen it will.

florababy84 · 21/02/2020 05:57

I had this with DH, it was me that took the plunge and said how I was feeling. He was flabbergasted, had never considered us as more than friends. I was relieved to have told him but felt pretty stupid that he didn't feel the same way.

But within a week or so, the idea took hold and he decided it was a good idea after all! 20 years later, here we are.

lonelyplanetmum · 21/02/2020 05:59

So over investedly excited for you today! Prosecco or champagne as soon as it's available at the wedding may help calm your nerves ... and good luck!

Regarding the broken shower it's not a sign. Ours has been like this for weeks. Ours will eventually run a bath If you leave both shower and taps trickling for longer.

UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre · 21/02/2020 06:12

Morning OP, good luck today!!

For what it’s worth, I’m currently snuggled in bed whilst the man I entered into an “I’ll marry you by forty if no one else has by the time you’re 40” promise with nearly a decade ago, makes me coffee and toast and we are having a baby in July. Because we wanted to, not because of the promise. So it really can happen.

Folicky · 21/02/2020 06:20

Enjoy the wedding, nice food and people are usually in celebratory, upbeat, chatty mood. Nevertheless always a long day which is tiring and provides potential for people to get shitfaced. Don't allow yourself to be one of them. To do that you're going to need a plan as, combined with the anxiety (which makes alcohol hit you a bit more), things could you could end up shitfaced

Folicky · 21/02/2020 06:22

Pressed post by accident

.... to avoid ending up KO'ed with alcohol. A plan could involve no alcohol until the meal and some soft drinks, diet cokes and the like

whiteroseredrose · 21/02/2020 06:38

Enjoy the wedding and try to relax. You've been friends for years so there's no rush. Just wait for the right moment.

Good luck.