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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if this could be more? Think I’m in love with my best friend

731 replies

captainamericassexybeard · 18/02/2020 05:38

Have name changed for this because my other friend is on here and knows my username and I think I might combust with embarrassment if she came across this and clocked it was me (the wedding details might be outing).

I briefly “dated” a guy as a young teen and then we became really good friends and stayed that way, pretty much best friends ever since - purely platonic.
He’s a very attractive guy but I’ve genuinely never ever felt anything for him other than platonic love. Mutual friends have always said they don’t know why we aren’t together and some of my newer female friends have commented that they think there could be something there, but until recently I’ve always thought it was funny and brushed it off. I would have gone as far as to say we were like brother and sister!

Recently we went to a wedding together as I needed a plus one, and I don’t know what happened but it’s like I’ve suddenly seen him in a new light. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we had a great night as always when we are out but it’s like something has clicked in my brain and now I can’t stop thinking about him.

We are going to another wedding together on Friday, I’m returning the plus one favour and I’m really ridiculously nervous! I feel like I’m going to act weirdly or something or get drunk and say something and we’ve been friends for nearly 17 years now so I don’t want to ruin it! I’ve been avoiding him all last week because I think I’ll just go red or make it really obvious that something has changed.

I’m mortified at being such a cliche and reading this post back it sounds like the set up
For a VERY bad romcom. I’m a bit beside myself. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything at all, and how on earth I tell if he could like me more than friends (inwardly cringing).
Jesus I’m too old for this shit.

OP posts:
captainamericassexybeard · 20/02/2020 04:36

Thank you for sharing these stories they are bolstering my confidence! Love the cheque in the post lionel

You’re all right I need to give it a chance whatever happens... I just feel a bit sick every time I think about actually going for it.

I’m really pleased with the dress - I had lots of suggestions over in style and beauty for how to dress it up more and now have some more things arriving today to try on and see what works with it.

Getting my hair done tomorrow in a fancy relaxed up do as well.

I’m really nervous.

He’s been away this week and gets back today but we’ve been messaging as usual... I keep having an irrational fear I’m going to somehow accidentally send him a link to this thread!

I’ve not been sleeping well all week as you can probably tell by the fact I’m awake and posting in the small hours so it’s going to take some heavy duty concealer to work some magic Grin

OP posts:
YeahWhatevver · 20/02/2020 05:09

Love this thread, reminds me of another one where the poster got together with her best friend. For some reason I vividly remember a sofa featuring significantly in the posts. Think it might be over in Classics now

Can't wait for the live updates on Friday...... .hint, hint..... . Grin

Monty27 · 20/02/2020 05:28

I'd flirt but not profess anything. See what he does. But then I am hopeless at relationships
Good luck though Smile

MrSandmanBringMeABream · 20/02/2020 06:05

Oo I'm so here for this! Nice dress.

I was good friends with my now DH for over a year before we got together too. Both had boyfriends/girlfriends/flings at various points in that time too and honestly never saw him that way until one day (both single!) I just did. He says the same so it's not like he was pining for me either! It's almost like we had to wait for all distractions to clear out of the way before we saw what everyone else has already seen what was right in front of us.

Now married with child!

Could you possibly get a little bit tipsy and go in for the kiss? Worst case scenario he recoils and you can blame it on being plastered then laugh it off forevermore as that hilarious time you were so drunk he actually looked attractive to you...

Alpacamabags · 20/02/2020 06:10

Also shamelessly following

EnglishRain · 20/02/2020 06:24

Placemarking. Roll on Friday!

captainamericassexybeard · 20/02/2020 06:36

Argh the pressure 😱 now I feel like I have to do something Friday or you’ll all be disappointed when I have nothing to report

OP posts:
OscarWildesCat · 20/02/2020 06:41

Shameless place marking, this is like a film Grin. Hood luck OP.

OscarWildesCat · 20/02/2020 06:42

*good

Syrinx89 · 20/02/2020 06:56

I think this is wonderful and I hope so badly that it will go your way OP! You sound so lovely.

Happyhusband · 20/02/2020 07:08

Watching with interest. Kinda sorta similar to Mrs Happy and our eventually getting together.

Nomel · 20/02/2020 07:08

Good luck! Don’t feel pressure to update- it’s your life after all not a soap opera! I really hope it works out for you.

MyOtherProfile · 20/02/2020 07:33

now I feel like I have to do something Friday or you’ll all be disappointed when I have nothing to report
You're turning up looking good, that's already doing something! And you will be hanging out with him all day. That's something else. Those of us wishing to live vicariously through someone else's crush and potential new love will have plenty to go on Grin

AdriannaP · 20/02/2020 07:38

Shameless place Marking!
Enjoy the wedding OP, can’t wait for the update.

GorgeousLadyofWrestling · 20/02/2020 07:42

This is such a lovely thread 🥰 Go for it OP, just a bit of courage for a little while...rather than regret at just never knowing. I have a very similar story as many others here - friends and then one night, just flirting and our body language and eye contact was enough to give me the courage to go for it. Now married with 3 DC. Good luck!

MyHairIsSoapy · 20/02/2020 08:07

Lovely dress (not place marking at all.....)

NumbersStation · 20/02/2020 08:09

Another one hoping that it goes your way OP.

I’m a sucker for a romance Grin

Dobbyhasnomaster · 20/02/2020 08:26

Really hope it goes your way! How lovely 💕

Lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 20/02/2020 08:33

Oh I love this. It must feel hard not to feel under pressure but don't worry about us on this thread. The support will totally brings here for you on here regardless of what happens. Just think about the matter in hand and good luck. X

Lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 20/02/2020 08:34

*be here

Herpesfreesince03 · 20/02/2020 08:44

Place marking !

Canshopwillshop · 20/02/2020 08:53

I like Mr Sandman’s idea. Good luck.

Member869894 · 20/02/2020 10:28

Roll on tomorrow 😁

TheNoodlesIncident · 20/02/2020 10:41

Did you find some accessories to go with that lovely dress?

I hope you have a good time at the wedding. Fingers crossed!

CatherineTheNotSoGreat · 20/02/2020 11:30

Oh I love a good romance!

Terribly rude blatant place-marking.

Either way, enjoy Friday and keep us posted!