AIBU dead neighbour

[Soggymacaroon]

So my hoarder neighbour died just after Christmas. She was an old lady, really nice but mad as a box of frogs. Anyway her family started clearing her house immediately but have just piled her stuff in her back garden, fair enough but it’s now been there weeks. With the storm it’s blowing rubbish everywhere. I know they’re grieving but AIBU to be a bit pissed off. My husband and I have offered to help but they didn’t want any and are instead just relying on the weekly rubbish collection. Is there anything I can do and not be a total bellend at the same time? It’s not food rubbish just house crap EVERYWHERE!

The best thing I’ve seen though is a Tina Turner tea tray! She was a real character. She’s missed by the street for sure.

I understand how they must feel, I’ve had a few big losses myself and that’s why I’ve left it so long. I’m going to follow up with a call tomorrow just to make my stance clear to the council. Thanks everyone for your comments, it’s made me feel less of a shit.

There's probably loads they are just chucking like the tray that could be sold on, to help pay for the cleanup needed.
I know it's time-consuming, but then so's chucking all your stuff in the garden and waiting for the weekly collection.

I’m sure there is a difference between a normal person’s stuff after they have died and a hoarder’s stuff.

Also if there is furniture and it was in reasonable condition there are charities that collect it for free, so no need to leave it in the garden where it will now be no use to anyone now.

That's what's annoying me more about the neighbours, grieving or not. The stuff could have been given away. House clearance post on FB and it would have attracted every chancer for miles as well as those in genuine need.
Such a bloody waste, rotting in the garden.

You really are insensitive OP, and I did not realise we had time limits on people grieving depending on you. Wind your neck in and mind your own business.

This is BS, it is her business if their rubbish is blowing ll over her garden. Other people do not have to put up with mess blowing around their gardens and streets for weeks and weeks for anyone.
Its a health hazzard and the council will not look kindly on it. I know someone who had to do this as the place was full of rubbish and attracting rats. Its not fair on other people who have to live there, the family dont.

Why didnt they just leave it in the house and take it a bit at a time to the skip? Or pay for a skip between them all? Or contact a charity to come and collect the stuff that was appropriate for them? Anything but dump it outdoors in winter to blow all over the street.

Obviously, I don't know about where you live, but round here funerals are only just taking place Now for people who died just after Christmas. IME, families often don't really begin to get on with 'sorting out' until after the funeral. Ibknow of two families bereaved in the week or so after Christmas who've only this week had the funeral. Not through choice, but because that's how long the waiting list has been. In both cases, they are only now getting their heads together and beginning to sort out the house. Maybe your neighbours family started it and found it more difficult than they thought. Maybe some other family emergency has occurred, as it did in one of the families I have referred to, which has taken priority for the moment.
I think hoping the council will 'help'is at best naiive. Our local council wrote to my neighbour after a complaint about rubbish in the back garden - it was actually a sofa which had been removed to make way for her late husbands hospital bed to be moved downstairs. She was waiting for a local charity to help her dispose of it. The letter from the council told her that if the sofa wasn't removed within a certain time, they would prosecute her under some act or another. When she called them and explained the situation they said there was nothing they could/would do to help her unless she could get the sofa through the house and onto her front garden where they could collect it. She said she would try to find someone to help her and asked for a date but the council said they didn't give dates so she would have to have the sofa at the front of the property by 7:30 am each morning until it was collected, but it couldn't be left there overnight. That's our local, helpful council. Maybe yours is different. I hope so, or the bereaved family are just going to be under even more stress.

Phone the council if you see a rat 😉 around the area. They might help with removal then. Just a thought.

When my mum died ( and she'd lived in her home 51 years) a 3 bed semi . I was the only person sorting it out . Once everything worth sending to charity had gone , I was left about 30 bin bags of stuff to bin . On bin day I was in the garden waiting for the bin men to empty the bin and said I had these bin bags down the side of the house and would they take them for £xx amount ( can't remember but approx £30-50 ) They were all collected and gone in minutes.

rubbish 6ft high in thd garden for months is a recipe for diseaster - grief or not, they can’t do that. Either leave in the house, or get rid of immediately. with the weekly bin collections, that will take years! (it took us 5 months to empty a garage that way, and it wasn’t that full)
ignore all the “yabu” comments - most people are lucky they’ve never seen (or smelled) a hoarders house!

If there are sofas and other soft furnishing then absolutely rats will make a nest. You’ve done the right thing contacting the council. How they could think just piling it up in the garden was a viable option I don’t know.

YANBU at all. The sadness of the death is not affected by your not wanting a hoard of rubbish to blow into your garden! I hope that the council gets onto it soon.

It is possible to grieve and act in a sensible neighbourly way at the same time. Given this mess is impacting you I think you were right to contact the council. Hopefully they will be able to deal with it sensitively.

There seems to be this growing belief that grief gives you a carte blanche to lose all social conscience and behave in any way you choose. I speak from experience when I say that grief does NOT permit you to check out of being a decent, functional human being.

Imok where do you live that funerals are only just taking place of people who died 6 weeks ago?

In any case the family in OP's case HAS begun sorting things out at the house in question - they've DUMPED everything in the garden, piled 6 feet high against the fence and are encouraging vermin!

Good luck OP, I hope the council can help.

YANBU at all. I think it’s pretty weird to empty the house contents into the garden anyway where it will get sodden and hard to move. Seems more to me like a half hearted job rather than overwhelmed by grief; I speak as a procrastinator myself.

Tell the council you have seen a rat and you think there might be a food source.

If it's "house crap" I don't see how it's blowing on cars etc as I'm taking that to mean furniture etc.

Just because you lack the imagination to see how household rubbish could mean anything other than furniture, doesn’t mean that’s the case. Unless you’re suggesting the OP is lying about the rubbish blowing onto cars?

OP, I think you’ve been very considerate. Not many people would offer to help with clearing the rubbish. They’ve left you with no option but to contact professionals who can help.

Gosh there's some right key board warriors out today. A bereavement doesn't trump normal social behavior and being a reasonable neighbour. The OP has offered to help, she hasn't been offensive or rude about her dead neighbour. No matter what the issue, leaving huge piles of rubbish is not acceptable and is an environmental eyesore.

Some posters just want to bark and goad for the sake of it

For a minute I thought it was my aunt (who recently died). But we definately did not chuck everything in the garden! We have put stuff out for bin men on rubbish collecting day and I have taken some clothes to charity shops. Bit hard without a car and the local charity shop only takes two bags at a time. That's the trouble when the area is full of 'crumblies) (yes I am aware I might well fall into that category too - just got my 60+ Oyster card. Hooray!!!) so must have loads of clearouts.

YANBU.

What is their thinking leaving the entire contents of a house piled up in the garden and the house empty? What's the point? It would be better boxed and bagged inside, taken away gradually.

Are they planning on a clearance guy coming round? Not cheap. I've just paid nearly £200 for someone to handle a fraction of the waste you're describing.

but they do drive so why not go to the tip

For the amount of rubbish you describe, this is probably not an option as it sounds like there are many many car loads. Many tips only allow people who live in the same council area to use the tip. So unless the relatives live in the same council area, they might not be allowed to use the tip.

They might also struggle to use the tip in their own council, because many areas issue car passes and use number recognition to restrict the number of uses per year. You're only supposed to dispose of your own rubbish too, so technically, disposing of someone else's rubbish is not allowed.

It's a difficult situation. But do you know that the lady owned the house and not rented? If it was rented, obviously the landlord will want it back at some point, but if owned, you would have thought that the relatives would be interested in getting the house prepared for sale, including clearing all the rubbish, sooner rather than later.

If they genuinely don't have the money for skips/removal, which could be hundreds, if not thousands of pounds, I wonder if the council can clear the rubbish, and send a bill if there is one, to be paid when the house is sold?

Councils do have powers to order that derelict houses or excessively rubbish strewn gardens are made good, it's an environmental health function.

call the council.Nobody should have to put up with that .

YANBU. Having had to clear out a house its was a stressful and upsetting time but I had no choice but to get on with it as I lived in another country and needed to get back to my DC asap.

In saying that I dont understand why they started it to just throw it all in the garden. Surely it could have been left in the house (causing no issues to anyone) until they felt up/ could afford to clear the house properly.

You did the right thing contacting the council.

Could you organise some sort of street work party? Yes, it isn’t your responsibility but it could get it mostly cleared if everyone took one car load to the tip.