To find filming a funeral odd?

[RitaHayworthHair]

Attending a funeral on Friday and been given the heads up it will be filmed so those not attending can watch it later. Also, it'll be a memory for those left behind.

Is this a thing now?

I hate funerals already without being filmed! AIBU in thinking it odd?

Personally I can't bear it - it goes against all that I find decent, in that like life itself, memories can be ephemeral and a funeral is meant to be a moment in time. Not something to be endlessly replayed. Anyone who organises my funeral will now be expressly told not to film it under any circumstances. Ghastly idea.

I guess they have personal reasons for this. Maybe a very close relative is unable to attend. Often there are some amazing tributes paid by family members which would otherwise be missed.

If it’s done very discreetly I think it’s fine.

I doubt they’ll be offering to show their workmates and so on.

I think its disrespectful.

Didn't occur to me they might ask for contributions or anecdotes. That would be too much for me.

Honestly, that's awful! When my DF died his sister wanted us to do this as she couldn't attend. We said absolutely not. We sent the order of service to her instead.

I would’ve liked some footage of mums funeral, or maybe photos. It was a blur at the time. I’d like to look at the flowers people sent and the people who turned up who loved her. The bloody good job I did of getting the rest of the family through it. It was the last thing I could do for her really. I do get that it’s a personal thing though and perhaps too much for a lot of people to acccept.

My FIL's siblings all lived in either Poland or Australia and were aged late 70s to 90 when he died. Only the one (of six) in his 70s could attend, and asked if the ceremony could be video'd for the other siblings. We said of course (the siblings, though geographically separated were/are emotionally very close).

We asked if he'd like someone to do the video for him so that he could focus on the proceedings himself, and in the end someone from my FIL's church offered to do that. He was very discreet, and it in no way detracted from the service.

I thought it was a sensitive thing to do for the bereaved siblings, and can't see why anyone would have a problem with it.

Very odd IMO. I can't understand why anyone would want to film a funeral?

We didn't video the funeral service at the crematorium but did video GMIL's memorial service for my SIL who loves in Australia. She couldn't come back due to children with disabilities and her own recent discharge from hospital and it would have been at 2am her time if she'd Skyped in.

Given that she was the only person who'd tally had any time for GMIL it felt the least we could do. If anyone had felt uncomfortable about it, they didn't need to attend.

@Soontobe60, why were you so horrified by the idea? Genuine question. If the person taking the video was out of your line of sight, I'm not sure how it would affect you.

I get quite emotional at funerals and worry about being out of control with crying and really wouldn't want that recorded.

I suppose context is everything.

I think its weird.
But we do video everything else weddings,christening. Maybe in years to come everyone will have their funerals recorded.

I Work in the funeral industry. Its not common but it does happen. Its usually because someone important cant come. Family on the other side of the world etc.

And its not so much filmed as live streamed - a watch live or within 48 hours and after that the recording is gone - unless a hard copy is requested by the family.

About 1 in 200 have been filmed i would guess at.

Also its done discreetly with a small camera hidden at the back of the chapel - most mourners wouldn't even notice it was there.

Memories should be of their life, not the funeral.

If I couldn’t attend a funeral I wouldn’t want to watch it on a gadget. Just weird.

Even if you were feeling very far away from your family and really wanted to be with them and you really needed that element of closure @MashedSpud?

It's very easy to think it's inappropriate beforehand, but it also very easy to see that it is the only reasonable sensible and kind thing to do when you're actually in the middle of it. But no, let's tell people they're not grieving properly now.

A friend and former colleague, on the other side of the world from where I currently live died a few years ago. Her funeral was recorded and put on YouTube for a week or so. It meant a lot to me to be able to see it, and to hear all the tributes paid by other mutual friends and colleagues.

@RitaHayworthHair the video of my FIL's funeral was filmed from the rear of the chapel. So those attending were only filmed from the back, unless they were delivering eulogies. Basically the siblings had much the same view of the proceedings as if they'd been seated towards the rear of the small chapel.

I was told that the families gathered together in their two countries, to watch, and really appreciated the chance to say goodbye to him in that way. Afterwards they shared their memories of him.
I'd feel very sad if they'd been denied that.

I went to a funeral once that someone streamed it live back to the relatives in the home country as some couldn't make it to the Uk for whatever reason. Initially I was shocked but. Cake round to the idea and at least parts of the family still felt like they had been there.

Oh that's lovely @saraclara Sounds like it was sensitively done.

All the funerals that I have attended have been such intensely painful and emotional experiences, that I would hate being filmed. When people are grieving, they should be allowed privacy.

We recorded the receptions for both my grandparents funerals. Just did pictures at the burial. I love watching the recorded ones every now and then because in our culture its a celebration of life with good music, good food, laughter and tears etc.

We filmed my Gran’s memorial service. We had a private family burial earlier in the day and then the service of thanksgiving open to all. It was the service that we filmed because there were several key family members who couldn’t travel to the service - including several grandchildren, great grandchildren, a niece, nephew and my Gran’s sister.

It was filmed from the balcony of the church where no one else was sitting is no-one was even really aware it was being done. It was put onto discs to be sent to the people who wanted a copy and they all said they were very thankful to be able to see the tributes and the photo montage.

I find it quite sad that anyone would stop a loved one of the deceased being able to see the funeral

My dad passed away abroad and they held a wake service in the country he died in before he was brought back home for the funeral. That was webcast so the family here could see it. He was quite high up in his work and the webcast had over 2.5k watchers. I'm glad I could see it, and others could see it as well.