To find filming a funeral odd?

[RitaHayworthHair]

Attending a funeral on Friday and been given the heads up it will be filmed so those not attending can watch it later. Also, it'll be a memory for those left behind.

Is this a thing now?

I hate funerals already without being filmed! AIBU in thinking it odd?

I've just remembered I do have footage of my dd's funeral. It was filmed and reported by the local news. Thankfully it was outside the chapel and not inside and they kept their distance from us.

I had my husband's funeral filmed. Partly for myself, partly in case the children ever wanted to look back on it, they were very young at the time.

My father's funeral is organised by a company who have discrete built in recording so the funeral can be live streamed with the password provided. We are not using this option because the funeral is not in their chapel but would if we could.

I've attended a couple of (important to me) funerals via webcam, I'm in uk funerals were in Australia. One as it took place, the other a day or two later as it was still available. Nothing wrong with that, don't see why people can't get their head round it. Both cases was just the service, not graveside.

That is so weird!

Some churches have webcams so I've tuned into a couple of funerals. I think it's fine for those who cannot attend to be able to see a recording and hear the music and prayers etc that were chosen for the deceased.

My DH was asked to take photos and a short video of an interment we attended. It was the funeral of my step-mother’s mother and her grandchildren live in Australia. He was perfectly willing to do so, the priest understand why it was being done.

@saraclara I didn't think of Youtube, which sounds grotesque. I was thinking of my own private grief. Attending a funeral is such a personal thing. I don't wish it recorded. Ever.

Such very personal and mixed responses.

Having broken down very badly at both parents funerals I really wouldn't want the exposure of streaming. Too distressing.

Understand others differ.

Mines was a difficult relationship with parents so a difficult death too and not in anyway a celebration.

My mum asked my husband to record my sisters funeral. Which he did do, it’s never been watched, it’s just sat on the external hard drive.

Think it was a funny five minutes of grief for my mum 🤷‍♀️

Its not something I came across but I kind of wish there was a film of my uncle giving his mums eulogy as it was so lovely as I remember (it was 20 years ago).

The two most recent funerals that I've had to arrange offered audio and video recordings of the ceremony. My son's was webcast too by the audio visual company who do the music and images for the crematorium.

Because of this opportunity offered by crems in very different parts of the country, I had assumed it was normal these days. I doubt I'll ever watch them, but it was good to offer the footage to those who couldn't be there. Wesley Media did the visuals and music at both crems, and IIRC did the recordings and webcasts too. The webcast was free so we thought we might as wel have it, but no-one asked for the links

I think it's up to the closest to the deceased.

I had never thought of it. But I can absolutely understand that if a family member or close friend is unable to attend the funeral (eg they are overseas) then they would like to be able to see/hear the tributes given. An OOS is not a good substitute! However I think an audio recording is probably sufficient and might be a compromise. Certainly you should only record the people speaking and obviously they should all be asked if it is OK. I'm not sure why people react so negatively.

I dont think it would be like a wedding video where they film guests arriving etc. Hopefully will be a film of the actual service and not too intrusive for the mourners.
I can see the comfort it might bring someone who cannot attend but I wouldn't think it is something done normally.

Yep , weird .. so are photos

I think that I would have liked the funerals of those close to me filmed so that I could watch it back. Some of them, particularly one, are a bit of a blur and I know that beautiful word were spoken and I would like to have the opportunity to see them again.

Although my family often take photos of the flowers so I suppose that it's one step up from that and not so disturbing to me.

Your question really made me think... I've certainly never attended a funeral that was filmed... BUT I honestly wish I could watch my beloved DF's Taoist Funeral that took place a few months ago... It was truly beautiful/serene/poignant and with some unique traditions that were so comforting and graceful... A friend of mine DID take a discreet photo of the altar table where we had a beautiful photo of DF and food offerings for the monk and a huge bowl of incense burning... It WAS such an awful awful time, losing him - but I replay that day round and round in my head and DM and I talk about how special it was - so I suppose I would have like to see it and hear it all again...⛩

I've been to many funerals from celebration of long happy life to tragically died too soon, I know how awful they can be to get through, but discreet filming would not have made the worst one any more difficult. I think it's a good thing to offer people.

We videoed my granny’s funeral so that my uncle in Australia could see it. Likewise his was filmed recently so that we could see it. I was very grateful to be able to see his funeral and it really helped my grieving. So in those circumstances- not weird.

My mum and I had a similar conversation recently. My Dad has a small private crematorium service followed by a much larger memorial service. We both wish now that the memorial had been recorded as 4 of Dad’s closest friends spoke at length about him and we can’t really remember what they said as it was all such a blur.

The funerals I've watched over web cam are nothing like weddings, it's a fixed camera at the back of the room, you see back of people's heads and the service ie prayers/ comments/ eulogies etc. No close ups or intrusive images, it's just as if you're sitting at the back of the room for the service.

I wish it was an option for my father's funeral as there are so many people who can't be there as he's lived in four different countries and has many friends in each of them.

Some people really could do with learning some manners. Some of the posts are incredibly insensitive & some are just nasty. It’s uncalled for.

I understand people finding it surprising or unusual, but some if the other comments really are beyond the pale

When the funeral director asked if we wanted the service recorded, my immediate response was ‘No thank you . But when the ‘oddness’ of the question wore off a bit I changed my mind. It meant family overseas who couldn’t make it (we didn’t want to wait another week to hold the funerals and some are medically unable to fly) and that I could have a copy of it because I knew that in the day it would just be a huge blur and I wanted to be able to re listen to people who had chosen to speak. I HATE being on video, but on the day it was the very least if my worries. In 10 years I still haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it, but it brings me comfort to know that I can if I want to.

And frankly any one who thinks that’s disrespectful/weird/awful or anything else can GTF 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not their grief, not their decision and I pity their lack of empathy.