To find filming a funeral odd?

[RitaHayworthHair]

Attending a funeral on Friday and been given the heads up it will be filmed so those not attending can watch it later. Also, it'll be a memory for those left behind.

Is this a thing now?

I hate funerals already without being filmed! AIBU in thinking it odd?

Didn't occur to me they might ask for contributions or anecdotes. in think @MatildaTheCat may have been referring g to the eulogy and other formal tributes as part of the service, rather than ad hoc vox pops.

I went to a live steamed funeral last year. The deceased had worked in developing countries for many years and had some very good friends who were unable to get Visas. I wouldn’t have known it was being filmed if it hadn’t have been pointed out.

We had both my grandparents and my fathers funeral recorded. My uncle in NZ is unable to travel the distance these days and wanted to feel part of it. Our local crem is looking into live streaming...which I would have preferred as I now have a DVD of all 3 which I cant bring myself to chuck but certainly have no wish to sit through. Once for each of them was more than enough.

I have come across funerals being recorded a couple of times
Both were when close family members could not attend (due to ill health). The undertakers did discreetly advise those attending what parts of the church were not covered by the camera.

@HarryDaylight I'm not talking YouTube here. So I'm not sure what the privacy thing is about. Those same people who watched the video at home, would have been at the funeral if they'd been capable of travelling from their countries. I don't see why the video invaded any attendees privacy, because FIL' s siblings would have seen them in the flesh anyway. And as I said, the video only showed attendees from the back.

My friend's funeral was livestreamed, as she had family overseas who couldn't travel. Only the altar area of the church was in shot, so you couldn't see any mourners, only the vicar and people who did readings etc. I think as long as it's unobtrusive and you aren't shoving cameras in faces, it's fine.

I went to one that was filmed. But it was for a 21y.o musician killed very very tragically and the funeral was more like a mini festival with loads of performances etc. it felt appropriate. Was like a very sad party.

I don’t find it odd, it’s obviously as a close family member or friend can’t attend and would like to heard the eulogies etc

The only memorial service I've seen videoed was of my GMIL who died peacefully in her sleep aged 97. It was a celebration of her life rather than a distressing and emotional parting and one of the closest in the circle of grief needed it to be filmed. That imo trumped anyone else's discomfort about the back of their heads being on camera.

A friend of a friend had a photographer at her husband's funeral. She had 3 children under 8 and wanted them to be able to see what it was like when they were older.

I see your point Evilspiritgin but what about people who do n’t want their grief and distress filmed ?

I would have found it odd before organising my son's funeral.

The counsellors at the hospice suggested that we film and take photos of the day to help our toddler understand what happened to his brother when he asks questions later on.

It's been strangely comforting to have them to look back on too. It was done discreetly.

@Northernparent68 the attendees are told about the filming, and someone else said that there were sections of the seating that would not be filmed.

I'm sure that, as in my experience, any videoing is done with sensitivity. They're not going to film someone in distress, if they even show any mourners faces.

Very common to photograph/film funerals in the Caribbean and Caribbean diaspora.

I recorded my husbands funeral

Two reasons

1. dh sister had just had a baby and couldn’t fly. Lived abroad

2. dh did not get on with dad /fil and he was banned from funeral so I said a copy could be sent to him

I have a copy as well. So 3 were made

In the end tho dh sister did make it as said she couldn’t miss it. Think her dd was 3/4 days old and left with her dh/baby dad while flew in and back home following night

It was filmed by front side and discretly and tbh I have watched a few times in early days - now almost 9yrs

Haven’t watched for maybe 7yrs

When we had my Step dad funeral last year, the church streamed it live on their website, they have a few on there but whilst you can hear what is being said all that's visible is the aisle and the coffin

Think they stream t as where he was buried was a very small area in County Tyrone and my sd lived in London so not a lot of London friends could get over there for it

And from what I R.E.M. scanned over the pews then on was the stage and whoever was reading /minster etx

Depends on the circumstances. My aunt had to miss her mother's funeral because of illness and I think she would have loved the chance to see the service if we had been able to do this.

I recently attended a Hindu funeral
It took place very rapidly as is customary
Most of the deceased's family had no time to travel from his home country
The ceremonial and religious aspects were filmed so that family could take part
It wasn't recorded as far as I'm aware just a "live stream"
No one is was the slightest bit offended or bothered

the only funerals I have attended that are filmed are for bikers high up in MC groups and the filming is the procession to the crematorium not the actual service in biker world this is seen as showing the person who died respect family funerals not been filmed

I’ve watched a family funeral via live stream before. 2 lots of relatives on either side of the world. It was done sensitively, you could only see the backs of the mourners heads so there was an element of privacy
It was lovely afterwards that the family could see how many people attended from all over the world

My uncle through marriage had a sister who lived and died in America. He could not attend funeral due to ill health as was the case for other relatives in their home country. They filmed and streamed the funeral back home and it meant so much to my uncle to be able celebrate his sisters life so in that case I think filming the funeral was perfectly acceptable.

My sister died aged 29. The funeral was horrific. Seriously the worst thing I've ever experienced. I managed to get through the funeral, thanked attendees then went back to take my time in looking at the flowers and took photos. This was 2003. Tragic circumstances.

My Mum is dying of bowel cancer. I am wondering if my 8 year old daughter who is totally devoted to her will cope with her Nannas funeral. It's such a tough call. Bearing in mind that my 36 year old friend died suddenly recently and her kids did not attend. I wonder do I ask my child if she wants to go to her Nanna's funeral? Or not? Should i film it? Crikey. Seems weird. But actually, it has to be a consideration for me whether I like it or not.

RitaHayworthHair

My cousin died in Australia, No way could I make it, but I could watch the funeral as it was filmed. The tributes were amazing, as were both her children eulogies

At least I had some way of closure even though I couldn’t attend the funeral

My grandmother's funeral was filmed. My uncle was housebound due to his own health issues and wasn't able to attend and he was he only living child. It wasn't disruptive.