To think it’s not enough to say be kind etc, people and children need educating on being kind and how to help others

[Lardlizard]

Why are we not taught this shit at school etc

Just keep seeing be kind messages everywhere
But people need to do a bit further than that
You can’t rely on this being taught at home as not all children grow up n a stable and loving family

This is something that should be taught at home. By school it's too late

But all children are raised in loving stable homea

Homes

I hate to break it to you, Lard, but not all children are.

That’s my point

How exactly are you proposing to implement this?
I believe the formula for kindness is something like:
(Personality + Gens) : (Environment + Everyday Role Models) = Kind Person

Children and adults need to know when not to be kind too. So many people get taken for absolute mugs because they insist on being kind.

Sometimes the teachers are the biggest bullies of all, I don’t know the answer but people just saying be kind
Just seems like empty words

Who decides what is kind or unkind anyway op?

It’s the adults who need to be kind. In our kids school ‘kindness’ is actually one of the school ‘values’ and they talk about it and are rewarded for it.

I'm a teacher.

Believe me, I have classes where I directly instruct children in social basics like turn-taking and listening. And listening.

And, in fact, that's what Early Years is all about.

But I do over and beyond that.

But there are issues.

Is school really the ideal place for that? What about the kids that don't need those lessons?

And 'kind' is context-dependent, culturally variable, and gendered.

So this is a problematic ask.

School.

The magic place, where magic people do it all ...

And 'kind' is context-dependent, culturally variable, and gendered.
Wise words.

The only two places I’ve seen ‘be kind’ references recently are in the judge’s rulings on Maya Forstater and Kate Scottow’s cases. In both instances, my response would be ‘fuck that noise.’
If you are talking about toddler hair pulling, learning to share toys, and whatnot, then sure, whatever.
But boundaries shouldn’t be in danger of being trampled because it wouldn’t be kind to maintain them.

You know, we could switch this around a bit and suggest that adults - all adults, not just the magic school ones - have an ethical responsibility to express care for the younger members of the community by modelling caring, thoughtful behaviour.

We could decide, as a society, that this should be a cultural norm to which we wish our community to aspire.

It’s just all bland stupid hashtag shit in response to a far bigger and complex issue. Of course you can’t simplify life to “be kind”... it’s meaningless and people sharing it makes them look like twats.

But mainly, I, too, have issues with being told to be 'kind'.

I know for a fact I could do with being less 'kind' - and I feel there is social punishment for women and girls when we are perceived to be 'not kind'.

People who are saying ‘be kind’ are reminding adults who insult each other in the internet because there’s no personal accountability when you’re being horrible to someone you don’t know. It’s a different lesson than teaching children to be nice to their friends, it’s about being nice to strangers.

I had a really shit day last week, I took my son to his swimming lesson and came out to a note on my car calling me a FUCKING TWAT in big capitals because I’d parked too close to her car for her to get in (I was actually in the middle of my space, it was who’d parked badly!). I was having a shit day anyway which was topped off by my 6 year old asking why someone had written I was a twat on my car. People seem to now think they can say anything anonymously because there’s no accountability.

The way people talk to each other on here is a prime example. I think that’s the be kind message - they might just be a username or a celebrity or a faceless car driver, but what you’re writing is to/about a real person. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t write it for them to read

And 'kind' is context-dependent, culturally variable, and gendered.

Agreed.

We also need to think about the wider context in which we’re talking about these issues. Our media, social media, political culture and (to some degree) business culture aren’t the slightest bit kind.

Twitcher surely saying things that are nasty for the sake of it is surely unkind like oh look at thieve nasty teeth or look at the high gum line etc

This has been going round on Facebook today.

Women and girls are told ‘be kind’ a lot, and it often translates into ‘prioritise men and put yourselves last.’ It’s something that comes up whenever we try to defend our right to single-sex DV shelters, changing rooms or sports, for instance.

Oddly enough none of the people who come to lecture FWR on the topic seem to want to lecture the men we’re defending ourselves against.

Kindness is a good thing - of course it is - but it’s so important, especially for women and girls, to recognise the difference between being kind and putting ourselves last.

I agree OP in an ideal world children should be taught kindness that follows through to adulthood but I believe they are in the majority of schools. As others have said, my sons school teach kindness as one of their value.

However, the problem at the moment isn’t with children, it’s with keyboard warrior adults and the amount of media interest in celebrity culture.

I find it more than a little ironic that social media has become the place to publicly mourn Caroline Flack when it contributes so badly to the reason so many people feel the need to take the steps that she did!

Watching Call the Midwife earlier, it crossed my mind how much simpler life was before such widespread media!

Those are adults, though.

And it's much more than 'kind' or not.

I'm not sure how you go about educating them.

There are at least two organisations set up to try and develop a strategy for developing a less hostile and aggressive culture of political engagement.

Two.

In the field of political interaction alone.

There is surely a problem out there.

However, until you have strategies, and a consensus as to what you want, it's hard to imagine how it can be taught.

The ability to de-person - on social media, in political discussion - is a massive problem.

Taking Twitter down might be a good start.