To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

She gave me a very low dose prescription of melatonin. Apparently I need to lose weight, move more and start going to bed later and pay for CBT. I explained my energy issues and collapsing. She told me I wasn’t doing myself any favours by telling her all my issues. According to her, where there’s a will there’s a way. I wanted to rip her head off.

It never ceases to amaze me just how many HCPs don't seem to understand (or even to want to understand) the basic concepts of healthcare.

Obesity is a problem, but it's become the new smoking. If anybody carrying any extra weight at all (based on BMI, which is not a practical indicator in many, many cases), it will be seen as the answer to all of your problems to lose weight and you can't even begin to consider addressing any other issues or symptoms until you've lost as miuch weight as their often unrealistic charts dictate. I often think that, if a fat person were involved in a RTA and had both legs hanging by a thread, the first thought of some HCPs would be to concentrate on badgering them to lose the weight first and only then think about reattaching the legs.

As for not doing yourself any favours by telling her all of your health issues, does she not realise that that is actually a primary way of you enabling her to do the job for which she is qualified and indeed paid? You know, the same way you tell them what you want to eat in a restaurant before they can know what to cook for you....

“Ooh you can come and clean mine!”

And

“Do you wear a little French maids outfit?” (always from men)

I’m a cleaner

DrManhattan, I get the opposite.

"You're not Irish, are you?".
"No. Was it my accent that gave it away?".

@Icanseethepigeon @bigchris

Council worker with a birthday on the 28th February here...

I routinely point out that I do in fact also pay taxes, and that my birth year puts me 2 years in both directions from a leap year birthday....

These are hilarious, I'll admit to doing a few 🤣 especially the police one.... might have done that one waaaay too much.😊

I ALWAYS get when I'm abroad "Are you SURE you're Irish " I'll say "Yes" and they'll ask again " REALLY REALLY sure". I've really dark hair and sallow skin.

Webuilt I really agree with you.

I am about 3 stone overweight. I registered with a new GP and when she was taking my history i included that i used to be a bulimic and that had basically not vomited for about a year.

At the end of the session she told me that she could refer me to weightwatchers and I would be able to join for free. Admittedly I am not a HCP or a GP but I thought was totoally out of line considering what i had just told her.

I have RA and I’m pretty young too.
People always say
“are you sure you have it? A bit young aren’t you”
“You should take cod liver oil/turmeric as this really helped my auntie Pam when she was achy”
“God, I know how you feel, I sprained my ankle and couldn’t walk for a week”

All. The. Bloody. Time.
I just say I have injured myself now when people ask about my funny walk when I’m having a bad day

I'm another one who's experienced the ignorance surrounding CFS!!!

OK, Kay... hahahaha d'you get it? ... OK KAY!

I am almost 52. It's not new to me.

I'm almost 60, I have heard this almost every day for all of my life. Even my sisters still laugh when they say it

@bigchris also work for the council, with homeless people. Who are generally (Not all) unemployed and have been all their lives. (I work with the entrenched cases) still they tell me they pay my wages.

Twin mum here. The single most useful ongoing reply which I have used many many times, most recently earlier today. For 'what's it like to have twins?' reply is 'It's lovely. What's it like to only have one at a time?'

These twins btw are now 21. I did seriously consider back in the pushchair days just creating a pair of signs to dangle on the back and front of the buggy that said - 'No They Are Not Identical. Double Trouble Ha Ha Heard it Before. Yes I do have my hands full. Whether they were born thanks to IVF Is none of your damned business.'

Having said, meeting the wartime twin mum who had somehow managed to get her twin sons through the Blitz despite an utter breastmilk fail, with a mixture of cows milk and sugar - I would never have met this amazing lady if she hadn't introduced herself halfway round the market.

I have the same surname as someone famous... "Are you related to" ...
If only, I'd be loaded 😆

I have a degree in German and French and am always getting this, like speaking a language is some sort of party trick. Sooo irritating.

Not quite the same thing, but that reminds me of the old Bob Monkhouse joke about people expecting you to do your job to order and for nothing, as soon as they find out your occupation.
"I tell them I'm a comedian and they instantly say, without fail, ooh, tell us a joke. Why would you do that? I don't go up to somebody and say, hey, you're a politician: tell me a lie!"

My birthday is also 28th February, I get asked aren't you lucky you weren't born a day later. My answer is No, i wasn't born in a leap year. Another one from me is my eyes are quite an unusual colour, I've been asked if they're real, I say yes they are real, then I get told that they must be coloured lenses., nobody has eyes this colour. I fucking do.

Oh god, this thread is supposed to be lighthearted, but it's so depressing! People ... bloody idiot people ...

I'm a writer, and mine is, "Where do you get your ideas from?" Over and over, again and again, for thirty years and counting ...

Where do you come from?
England
Do where did you come from
England
Oh you don't sound English

God knows what I do sound like, I was born and raised in the South East

Didn't you have a telly then?
Do they all have the same dad?
Did you have twins or something?
They must have just slid out.
Were you on benefits?
Ever heard of contraception?

When finding out that I have 11 kids.

Answers.
Yes.
Yes.
No.
No.
No.
Yes.
Every bloody time!

I get 'Do you mind me asking how come you didn't have the baby' a lot (same-sex relationship; mildly butch DP is the bio mum to our DD).

1. Yes, I do mind.
2. Lots of reasons, but you want me to tell you politely that DP is a bit older so it seemed a good idea she go first, rather than regaling you with stories about miscarriage and PCOS and so on. I'm not always inclined to be polite.

DP gets the inverse variant, but she's had several people who ask who's the bio mum, then when she says it's her they say 'really?'

It's not exactly something you'd forget, is it?

"Did it hurt?" and
"Do you beep when you go through airport scanners?"

I have titanium in my body that required 10 hours of surgery split across two operations. Yes it did, and no I don't.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

You're not wrong. The final straw with my crap doctor that made me finally commit to changing doctors surgery was that my hayfever - yep, my [i]allergy to pollen[/i] was down to my weight. And he was fucking deadly serious (!)

"How do you not fall over?"

Because I have small feet.

Married to a body piercer (of 30 years experience) so we're no spring chickens - suggestive wink "OOh, do you clank when you walk?" (I only have my ears and nose pierced for the record, and just once).

Working in a framing and art gallery business that is predominantly framing orientated, advertises this widely and has prominent signage - "Do you frame pictures?" . I was only there one day a week, and I think one Saturday it had happened three times in quick succession and it was a testing, busy day..... so when number four came in and asked me IN FRONT OF A BENCH LOADED WITH FRAMING TOOLS AND ARTWORK I replied deadpan "No, we bake cupcakes". And he had no sense of sodding humour even when I apologised, alot.

I now have my own shop. If I am hoovering, dusting, opening an order, or arranging shelves I can guarantee that whoever walks through the shop has to say "Ooh, are you hoovering/dusting/opening and order/doing a display." I have learned to smile very sweetly and make obligatory small talk.

My DH has heard so many he actually has a bingo card and he and his colleagues can usually fill it in a day........

I used to work as a cashier in a bank and I used to dread the inevitable "Got any free samples?".

"Oh, isn't your hair long?" All the bloody time. Next time I'm going to answer "Is it? The last time I checked it was only shoulder length!" (My hair is mid thigh length.)

I am about 3 stone overweight. I registered with a new GP and when she was taking my history i included that i used to be a bulimic and that had basically not vomited for about a year.

At the end of the session she told me that she could refer me to weightwatchers and I would be able to join for free. Admittedly I am not a HCP or a GP but I thought was totoally out of line considering what i had just told her.

It's disgusting, isn't it? It's as though any excess weight is a barrier to them treating you as a human with your own individual needs and circumstances with respect and dignity. You're just a big fat blob of nothingness which has to be conquered before you can become a person who deserves their attention to listen to and treat as an individual.

Glad to hear you've made such excellent progress