Same as @AcrossthePond55 and @drspouse. On hearing that some of our children are adopted.
“ So what do you know about their real parents ? “
I usually reply “ Their mum is a doctor and their dad is an engineer”*
“Oh “ they gasp “ what a coincidence, that’s the same as you and your Dh”.
Then you see it gradually dawning on them......
Other adoption related stupid / offensive questions :
“ Which ones are yours and which ones are adopted? “
“They are all ours”. Or
< puzzled look> “ You know I can never quite remember “.
“ Do you think they will want to find their real parents ? “
I have several replies for that one.
“ Well it won’t be hard, as we live in the same house “.
“ I don’t know, why don’t you come back and ask them themselves when they are adults? “
If they persist ( and really piss me off ) , if the kids are with me but not beside me I say
“ Oooh I don’t know, hang on, I’ll call them over and ask them”.
The questioner then looks horrified and starts to back down super fast. Funny how they think it’s ok to ask me impertinent questions but they don’t want to ask my child.
( For the avoidance of doubt, I would never actually ask my child this, or let anyone else do so if I could possibly stop it. In the unlikely event that the questioner didn’t back down, I would just say “ oh no wait I forgot, it’s none of your business is it ? “ ).
As an adoptive / bio/ step and mixed heritage family , our children are easy targets for nosey buggers. As soon as they can talk, they learn to recite:
“ My mum says I don’t need to talk about X if I don’t want to. She says you can ask her if there’s anything you need to know “.
I bet you can guess how many people have actually then approached me. Yes, one. And that was actually with a genuine, though mistaken, concern.
They need to learn this because it’s hard to children to deal with inappropriate adults, especially if they are in a position of authority like teachers / youth groups leaders / sports coaches / friend’s parents.