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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

583 replies

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 16/02/2020 18:22

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

OP posts:
EuroMillionsWinner · 18/02/2020 13:03

My son's skin tone is different from mine. 'Is he yours?'

drspouse · 18/02/2020 13:21

Same with my DD, @euro.
How did her skin get to be that colour?
It's called genetics.
(Leaving them thinking very slowly... Hang on I saw dad yesterday... But her birth parentage is NOYB).

Dylanpickle · 18/02/2020 13:21

Ooh your name is the same forwards as backwards, did you know that's a palindrome? Erm yep, i'm just as good in reverse.

Icecreamdiva · 18/02/2020 13:22

I’m short with a small frame and very big breasts. I don’t like them but there’s not a lot I can do about them. One particular ‘friend’ feels the need to comment on them and draw attention to them constantly. So far I have managed not to snap back with a bitchy comment about how she manages to get boots that fit over her cankles and fat calves....so far!

BossAssBitch · 18/02/2020 13:25

When are you going to have kids?

I'm 45.

(and not a maternal bone in my body Grin )

Mustbeoriginal38 · 18/02/2020 13:39

@fleamaker123 I had that when pregnant with ds2. And now having just had ds3 I've also had "did you want a girl?" And other variations. "No I just wanted a baby!" Soon shuts them up.

@snugglysnerd I get that too when I say I teach in a secondary. Then when I say which school I get asked if I'm paid danger money. For years people always assumed that younger me must be a primary teacher because (and I quote) "your so good with young children!" I used to invite those people to watch me teach older kids to see it was and is a universal thing.

Graphista · 18/02/2020 14:39

@Bluejeantreefrog - same! I find new people I meet discovering I’m veggie tend to react in one of 2 ways and the response seems generally divided along sex lines

Women - “ohh we/I don’t really eat that much meat, try and have a meat free day at least once a week” since meat free Mondays came in “oh we love meat free Mondays” also “oh there’s some lovely veggie food around now I see it when I’m doing the shopping” tends to be an almost apologetic response

Men - “oh I couldn’t live without bacon/beef/chicken” (a friend who is actually old school friends dad has been “joking” with me about bacon for that 30+ years! He knows I never even liked bacon he knows me really well but he’s actually a lovely chap who has always made sure if I were going out with them to eat that where we were going had good veggie food and if I were eating at theirs he’d chat with me about what I was having. It’s become a sort of “in joke” With us now especially on Facebook he tags me in all his “love of bacon” posts. Some newer friends of mine have sometimes been a bit hmm about that but I explain it’s fine it’s a “thing” we do. I tag him in some veggie posts too)

But they’re also the ones more likely to be really obnoxious - “a bit of gravy won’t hurt” actually for me it would, not long after I turned veggie with labelling not being great then I discovered by accident that red meat & things like gravy and gelatine give me a horrendous upset stomach! “Just have a bit of bacon/chicken/fish” er...no thanks! “But you eat chicken/fish yes?” No I’m vegetarian

And as aforementioned the oral sex “jokes”! They are crossing the line I think and they did get a hard stare on that one and even my ex would pull them up for that. The worst person for it was a friend of ex’s when we first started dating who really didn’t like me - I didn’t know why for ages, turned out to be because I was raised catholic! (He was Protestant northern Irish but I’d personally never done anything to harm him or anyone so he was being a twat!)

Sympathy to the fellow singletons too. I’ve been single 17 years now to all intents and purposes. What’s really weird is that there are people in my circle think I’ve been celibate all that time too! Not sure what that says about me! My mother in particular in the first few years got really stressed about me “needing” to meet someone else! Despite the fact she’s in a miserable, abusive marriage herself! So why she thinks with that history and with the hellish divorce from the nightmare ex and the poor offerings available she thinks I want to rush into another long term relationship I don’t know. I came out as bi a few years back which I think was a shock for her but also seemed to give her hope I’d “settle down” again soon. But I was just happy having fun dating/having casual flings. I don’t think I’m suited to ltr anyway.

@rainbowstardrops thank you. Dd was a bloody disaster as a kid when it came to staying clean/tidy. At first my mum used to blame me. Then she stayed a couple nights and witnessed me getting dd ready for school, plaited hair, clean & tidy uniform, polished shoes, bag sorted etc...and also witnessed dd could literally walk from one end of my living room to another and undo ALL of That, hair frizzed and free, one sock up one down, bag spilling contents, shirt untucked and creased and SOMEHOW some kind of stain appeared from god knows where inc mud when she’d not even been outside yet! It really was quite a feat!

Mum was like 😱 how does she do it?! If I knew that I’d stop her!

Also this was pre Eds dx and people were amazed (as was I) that she could also literally go from sitting to standing and sprain a wrist and she wore through even the most sturdy and expensive shoes approx 3 weekly (flat footed, pronates and trips frequently).

But yes I love that pic as I say it perfectly sums her up at that age.

My dd straightens her hair sometimes but it’s really quite a chore takes about 2 hours and makes her ache so she prefers not to. She plaits it when it’s wet after washing at night and this makes it a little easier to deal with the next day. She usually wears either in one or 2 plaits or a bun for work.

@JosieJasper my dds colouring is completely different from mine so we’ve had comments/questions on that score too inc “is she adopted?” And “is she mixed race?” I’m as I said typical peely wally Scot she’s very dark olive skin and her hair is almost black in colour and with the curls too... so I can see (especially in summer when she tans very dark) why they might think so, still think it’s rude to comment in such a way as to imply she’s not mine.

As it happens my ex (his dads been doing their family tree) does have a great grandparent who originally hailed from Egypt so there’s been some discussion if that’s perhaps where ex and his dads and dds and other dgc and children get their colouring and curly locks from. But his mum is fairer so 2 of the dc are fair like me with dc with dark colouring. Genes are funny things.

EngiNerd · 18/02/2020 14:57

I'm a mechanical engineer. I'm also a woman. I get asked "ooooh, you like machines? Aren't those for boys? Hahahahaha" Hmm

EngiNerd · 18/02/2020 14:58

I'm also a vegetarian.

"do you eat fish?" NO.

"where do you get your protein from?" Hmm

howodd21 · 18/02/2020 14:59

On finding out I have 9 children,
“really?!”, no just made it up for fun
“You don’t look like you have/ are old enough, are you sure?” yep, definitely sure, is someone who’s had 9 meant to be huge and just cos I’m not I must be lying?
Then I’ll get asked their ages, so I reel them off, “You can’t have a 20 yr old?!” again, yes I have!

Oh and the usual “you’ve got your hands full!” When I’m out with just the youngest 4, so I tell them that this is nothing, it’s not even half of them!

FeeLock28 · 18/02/2020 15:01

I have G&B twins:

"Are they identical?"
"How much did you pay for them?"
"You got it all over in one go!"
"What's it like, not having children of different ages?"
etc.

Allergictoironing · 18/02/2020 15:27

I know a Civil Enforcement Officer aka traffic warden. "How do you sleep at night" - very well thank you, being on your feet walking all day can do that. "You're only giving me a ticket because you want to get a bigger bonus" - no, I don't get anything for more tickets, and you're getting one because you are parked illegally.

But the one where they all seem to think they are being clever is the "Get a proper job" chant - frequently from the people who are at the local Job Centre signing on.

I have a last name that is reminiscent of the title of a well known 20th century dictator. At 58 years old, people STILL think they are being original with Nazi salutes; gosh, I haven't really been having these "jokes" made since primary school Hmm.

crispysausagerolls · 18/02/2020 17:40

*‘Can't you do another dwarf? You’ve been doing grumpy all morning!’

This is sensational and I am going to start using this alllll the time! Thanks @Lincolnfield

EssentialHummus · 18/02/2020 18:04

crispy I believe the former Speaker once got the reply “Which one are you then?” in response to saying he wasn’t happy.

Bella2020 · 18/02/2020 18:08

I used to be a cashier in a bank and was always asked 'have you got any free samples?'

GoldenKirst · 18/02/2020 18:19

"How do you write with your left hand?"

Well I'm left handed so that's how Hmm

My surname is the same as my boyfriends first name but with 'car' at the beginning. We've been together 13 years but people always make a joke of him being called 'first name car-first name' if he took my name if we get married Envy

The80sweregreat · 18/02/2020 18:23

I did this to the nice lady in the ' old fashioned sweet shop' in town.
' it must be nice working in here...' she just grinned at me. My punchline was ' I bet you don't get asked that very often ..' she did laugh!

CleansUpDragonPoo · 18/02/2020 19:22

Since I stopped dyeing my hair, it's dark at the back and pure white streaks in the front. I have a Dalmatian:

'Is that a Dalmatian?' 'You must be Cruella hahahahaha' 'Where are the other hundred? Hahahaha'.

I've started saying 'no, he's just a white dog with black spots' just to see their faces.

crispysausagerolls · 18/02/2020 19:36

@EssentialHummus

Oh my god! This is all too much for me 😂😂😂😂😂

Now I need to ask it but also to find someone who will say they aren’t happy! 😂😂😂

MrsElf · 18/02/2020 22:24

I used to work in a DIY shop. “Do you have fork handles?” From everyone. Even the lovely old chap who came in about three times a week. Every time he asked! For 3 years!

MeTimeInProgress · 18/02/2020 22:35

My very cute and very very small 12 year old male dog on a walk...
'Is she a puppy?'
Every single day multiple times. Smile

NameChangeNugget · 18/02/2020 23:08

When taking on a new client... “How many children do you have?”

None that I know of. Fucking hilarious Biscuit

And just weird and nonsensical when a female says it

sashh · 19/02/2020 07:55

Whatisthisfuckery

My carer once brought his washing to my house in a guitar case (his was on the blink), because, quote:"Everything is cooler in a guitar case"

MintImperials · 19/02/2020 07:59

Who gave birth? Who's the real mum? How did you get pregnant? Where's the dad?
We're 2 mums. The answers are: Why does that matter?
We both are, thanks for asking.
That's not something I'd like to discuss with you as I barely know you/none of your business.
There isn't a dad, they have two mums instead.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 19/02/2020 08:06

‘Am I hearing an accent?’ While appearing pleased with himself as if he is the first ever to notice. Followed by a frown and guesses about my accent.

The guesses are almost always wrong, which then leads to: a) further frowning; b) demands for an explanation; c) suspicious looks; d) nodding because that is what he thought all along.

It’s pretty dull!

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