To ask for the question you always get asked, when the person saying it thinks they're the first person to say it.

[GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery]

Light-hearted.

Examples. As a teen I worked in a shop, sometimes something doesn't scan and the customer (if paying attention) without fail would say, "Oh, that's free then?" Followed by a chuckle.

I wear very high heels a lot, I get told all the time, "How you don't break your neck in those, I'll never know!"

The latest one, my DP is a head chef, people always say, "Oooh, I bet you get loads of lovely meals cooked for you!" I bloody wish, it's a Busman's Holiday for him, he doesn't want to cook after a day in the kitchen. 😆

i can identify with all the Brits living in the US ones for certain...
"Love your accent".. er thanks, its the only one i have
when raining "you must be used to this (haha)" - yes bc I've lived here for 10 years and it rains in NYC also
"have you met the Queen" - this one i say no, but my mum has on multiple occasions and then refuse to say more, citing national security

I used to have to wash the shop windows as a Saturday girl, without fail, every, single, week "Do you want to come and do mine when you're finished?" and "Shall I bring my car around for you?" 🤔

Isn't everyone on the spectrum?

No. It's a neurological condition that affects the structure of the brain. You either are autistic or not. By the same logic everyone is a psychopath.

Another twins one. I have a boy and a girl. The number of people who asked me if they were identical! Me: "Identical means the same. In every way, not just faces," but I still got people insisting that boys and girls can be identical! But the most common comment when we were out and about was "Twins. How lovely. Will you have any more kids, do you think?"

I have tattoos, stretched ear lobes, several more piercings in my ears and a nose piercing.
“Did they hurt?”
“What will they look like when you’re 80?!”
“You do know they’re permanent, right??”
“What do your tattoos mean?”
“

Oh were you named after your eyes?

Ah, I see mine has also been put up-thread. I'm not alone!

I've got a 4 month old and a 19 month old and people go, oh you've got your hands full?!? Well no it's 2 babies not bloody dinosaurs.

I have twins boy and girl

"Are they twins?"
"You've got your hands full"
"Do twins run in your family"
"Are they identical?" (Clearly not they're a boy and girl!!!!!)

‘Can you tell what I’m thinking?’

I’m a psychologist!

DH is a farm vet. People ask him regularly whether he has to put his hand up a cows’ arses. It is such a regular (multiple times per day) occurrence as part of his cattle fertility work that he just says yes.

Plants are killed for food too... I am a vegetarian 🙄

Is Bart your brother? 🙄

My surname is Simpson.

Not a question exactly, but I think I must have a naturally miserable face because when I was younger blokes in the street would always shout 'cheer up Love, it might never happen' at me and then piss themselves laughing as though they were the first person in the world to possess such wit.

I used to work at a tourist attraction called The Big Sheep. Constantly we'd have visitors asking 'exactly how big is this big sheep? Ho ho'
Smile and laugh, smile and laugh.

“What country is your surname from?“

This country - England.

“No, I mean originally”

Still England.

(Surname is an English placename ending in -ham).

I have naturally curly hair (I hate it) but would get asked is that natural or a perm? I mean who had perms in the late 90’s early 2000’s? When I said natural I would then be told how lovely it was & wish they had naturally curly hair!

“Is this all you do all day?”

I’m a Mammographer

I just want to say that I met someone professionally whose name is “Roy McClure” and he had genuinely never had anyone make a comment to him about Troy McClure from The Simpsons. Or he’s just very, very polite (possible, he’s a lovely man!)

As a violinist, every bus driver would ask me if l had a gun in the case. All thought noone else had ever cracked the joke and my rictus grin was automatic. Thankfully I am of average height so have never had to suffer the silly comments so many of you had but l once knew a young man who was 6'5" tall. Fortunately he was very confident and, when told "you're tall" he would look up and down his body in an exaggerated manner and reply: "am I? I've never noticed.

Years as a professional violinist, every bus driver/taxi driver in the world: "you got a machine gun in there then?"

Not a question but every single time I got out with both kids and both dogs, "Oooh you've got your hands full."

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

@MitziK

Not tried tumeric then?

I had to phone my cousin yesterday to give him the news that my dad is dying of lung cancer. And then listen to him go on at me for half an hour about how he should take tumeric because it works miracles.

Well, it doesn't and it's way behind that anyway.

As for me, I wear glasses and whenever it's raining "you need windscreen wipers" or if they steam up people like to tell me, in case I've not noticed, what with them being a whole inch from my eyes.

“Are the other 100 at home?” “Have you counted the spots?” “Is his name Pongo?” I have a Dalmatian! 🤦‍♀️

"Bet dad's happy he won't be alone"

"Oh he'll be so spoiled/well looked after/kept in line"

I have two older daughters and b/g twins. As if we gave a damn if we had boys or girls, or would "spoil" one sex and not the other. And like it's my daughters' jobs to "look after" him