To think not everyone has somebody who would notice?

[Donkeykong2019]

I know I don't. People always suggest reaching out to a friend or family member but not everyone has someone and the constant reminded of not having someone is awful

I hear you Donkey, and have felt the same for a very long time..the ads come on the telly about talking to those youre with, but im sitting by myself night after night, so it just rubs salt into the wounds.

Theres a song on radio 2 playlist by The Script bragging about how his mates would walk through walls for him, it really upsets me, and ive often thought about making a complaint on behalf of everyone thats not so fortunate, like me.

I agree, I have people around me, I suffer awfully with anxiety, and stress, no one knows.

I agree, I do have a large family and friends.

However, honestly I don't think any one of them has any understanding or inclination to understand what's beneath the veneer.
I think we are all just alone tbh.

Just have to take care of yourself and pull yourself through, I don't know what else there is.

for us all

It's insensitive

I agree OP, I really only have DP and DC close to me. DC obviously not appropriate , and DP I can talk to but he is the one person I dont want to worry or upset.

I dont have a great relationship with family and would never ever go to them if I was feeling low because they would go out of their way to make it about them.

Weirdly DP would identify me acting oddly first but I suspect my exdh would bring it up first as he has limited emotional ties to me and wouldn't be concerned about upsetting me.

Don't get me wrong I have my mum but she isn't a mum you mean on for support. I didn't take my child to school on Friday (and genuinely forgot to call) and literally no one noticed. I haven't spoken to an adult all weekend. There's all this outpouring on Facebook but it's right in front of their noses and they can't see it. It's so weird.

This is so true. It just serves to make people feel more alone. I am lucky, I’m close to my mum but I have no friends or partner. Not no friends I could turn to, but just no friends. I suffer awfully with anxiety and overthinking/guilt which impact on me terribly. Nobody knows that. Everyone has their own troubles that nobody else knows about.

Maybe the emphasis should be more on the idea that every life is valuable in and of itself. More focus on organisations like the Samaritans rather than turning to friends and family. The idea everyone has someone they can turn to is clearly a nonsense.

You're right. And it sucks.

This might not be any consolation to you at all but a few years ago my mental health collapsed. The one person who I thought I could rely on, and who had actually told me they could be called on for anything, let me down badly at the real crunch moment. Now, I would call the Samaritans, or if the crisis was not immediate, find a counsellor, but I would never, ever, trust that a friend would be there when really, really needed.

OP I've just reread your update , I'm probably being silly but are you ok? You said it's right in front of their noses ? I know you may not wish to say anything on a public forum but you're wording made me think twice .

Would you like things to be different OP? I know a couple of people who really don’t like being around others and would happily live with fewer attachments than I do.

I hope you are ok? The biggest problem is most can’t reach out - if they could things would be different.

This morning I read a post saying share this 5 times. It was on about reaching out. I believe the person who sent it is well-meaning rather than virtue-signalling but why not suggest you contact one person rather than sharing on bloody FB.

It’s shit.

I’ve had a very rough time recently. I thought I could speak to a friend; she was asking how I was. I was honest. She replied a few times and then ignored me for a week. Then posted a status on Facebook about being sick of other people’s problems as it was draining her. It was obviously about me from the comments.

First and Last time I will ever reach out to anyone.

A few people know I’ve had a rough time. It’s my birthday today and no one has even said happy birthday.

Connie, happy birthday

I think when you do reach out and are let down you feel so vulnerable it's a sharp lesson never to do it again, which is not good either.

Definitely. Even if you have people in your life, doesn’t mean they are approachable or understanding.

I developed anxiety a few years ago and kept getting horrible heart palpitations so I was referred to Cardiology to wear a heart monitor for a week. Thankfully they couldn’t find anything physically wrong with my heart, so they were put down to my anxiety. When I told my Mum, she said “What have you got to be anxious about?!” 🤷🏻‍♀️ I tried.

I have almost nobody. I have one friend (with their own serious mental health issues) who I've not seen for a few weeks, and that's it. No partner, no kids, no family. It scares me.

Things have been better.

Sorry to hear I'm not alone

Happy birthday @Connie222

Know this feeling well, I've never had anyone to turn to really. Recently though we have had to ask for and accept a fair bit of help from people at church, which has then meant messages asking how things are going, how we are etc. Which is nice and means an awful lot. But when it comes to me and my own mental health, there's no one I could rely on. Thankfully because of the situation currently I am seeing a counsellor, but otherwise think I'd probably have fallen apart.

@Connie222, Happy Birthday 🎂.

The status may not have been about you. She might not have ignored you for a week, but had other people's problems to deal with.

I don't have anyone I could share with, but even if I did, I don't know if I'd trust someone with really personal stuff.

Donkey I truly hope you are ok. I know it isn't the same but please keep talking on here. You aren't alone even if it feels it right now.

Also sometimes you can tell people but no one listens

@Donkeykong2019
Sorry you are feeling low at the moment .I totally get what you mean re the rather cliched fb postings. It's hard to reach out and if you feel you are alone and it can be really painful to read these.
I have been suffering from anxiety recently ,diagnosed by my gp, ( following the deaths of both my parents, and being an only child it really hit me hard, feeling very alone etc ) and even though I have a very loving DH it can be hard to really let someone close in, especially when on the surface every thing looks just fine. To be honest I think my dog has given me the most comfort recently as there is totally no judgement from him! So many people feel this way, sadly, and I don't think there is an easy answer , just hand hold for any one feeling this way at the moment

I completely get this, I have my mum who I talk to most days, but she is from the pretend all is ok era. My dbf listens, but not convinced he completely understands. Close firends who are always busy, So, Realistically, we can all be surrounded by loyal, loving people, who I'm sure will "be there", but no one who truly listens xxx

I'm sorry OP that things are not great. I do think sometimes the benefit if anonymous forums like this is there is access to other people for those of us who dont have the option for whatever reason in real life.

Sometimes I hope just a voice in the night so to speak can keep someone going just until things get better.

Very true Op. In fact it got so bad for me the only ‘person’ I reached out to was called Blossom Hill (3 bottles a night at times).
In the end I saw my Doctor who helped enormously.