To ask if you've ever felt like this about a celebrity's death

[twelveminutespast]

I didn't know Caroline and she didn't know me, but I can't shake this feeling of sadness about her death. It's really stopped me in my tracks.

To know that someone else felt like life wasn't worth living is just the most horrendous and awful thing to me. I do believe she would have made it through the court case the other side. I'm wondering what she was thinking during her final moments.

I feel so saddened.

Has anyone else ever felt like this about a celebrity when they've passed? If so, who? It probably sounds really pathetic as I didn't know her, but I can't stop thinking about it

I didn't know kindness cured depression.

Robin Williams’ suicide is misunderstood by many and marketing as depression is incorrect and disrespectful to the complex issues.

Nobody is saying that kindness cures depression.
It's saying that we never know what people are going through, so let's all be gentler towards each other.

I was really commenting on the meme posted, which says at the bottom "what depression looks like, so sad. #bekind.
Absolutely believe in kindness and the not judging till you've walked a mile in someone's shoes etc. But the idea that suicide can be stopped just with kindness - well I'd hate to hear that if my relative had committed suicide.

So many spiteful comments.
She was depressed and she was treated horribly by the tabloids and trolls. It was a court matter and should have remained that way. The tabloids have blood on their hands, look at the rush to clear their sites of all the horrible stories they’d written about her, comments suddenly being controlled when previously it was a free for all. They knew the vulnerable state she was in and pushed on anyway. I’m not saying she hadn’t done anything wrong but she didn’t deserve to be hounded the way she was, especially in her mental state. People need to find their humanity.

I still feel sad about Rik Mayall now, he was my childhood / early years.

Agree with a PP about the queen - when she goes it’ll be devastating.

Dreading the day David Jason dies too

I didn’t particularly have any special affection for Caroline (all my friends loved her) but how awful for her to feel that was the only way out for her.

Didn't read the full thread as it made me upset and my heart goes out to everyone.
I didn't know Caroline flack irl, I didn't watch LI but for some reason her death has got to me. Robin Williams was the other one that really upset me, I still can't watch any of his films without crying.
I suffer from accute anxiety disorder, whilst I've never wanted to end my life, I know how difficult and hard everything can be.
I really hope everybody can find somebody to talk to

Chester Bennington, I think he was such a resilient character to have been through his childhood experiences and to go on relentlessly follow his passion and talent, also suffering addiction and poor physical health.

I do believe Caroline's case is likely a lot more nuanced than just the court case and social media issues. Likely they were the straws that broke the camel's back.

Richey Edwards from Manic Street Preachers for me - the first visible person with mental illness I was really aware of as a teenager, who was not either a character in a book or long dead like Sylvia Plath. He was also someone who from my perspective seemed to be intelligent, driven, and able to manage his illness and succeed despite it. Definite role model. And then he chucked himself off the Severn Bridge. It is really not an exaggeration to say my whole world collapsed (I was a young teenager, if he had lived I would just have outgrown him as I grew up, but he was a massive crutch to my MH at the point in time he killed himself).

Kurt I was shocked by, but mostly because prior to his death I hadn’t really been aware of any MH issues. And he was so famous - it felt like famous people didn’t really die as much back then. I didn’t see him as a role model, and wasn’t a big fan of the music, so once I stopped being surprised I wasn’t particularly upset.

Amy Winehouse and Peaches Geldof, just because they were so fucking young. They were practically children. Somebody should have taken care of them.

Peaches’ sons in particular, I was TTC when she died and it just broke my heart to think of her little poor boys left without their mummy. My DF died when I was a child and for some reason that never bothers me, but losing your mother seems infinitely more horrific to me.

Keith Flint .
Have always been a such a fan and I was so shocked when he died .
Also very upset when Rik Mayall died too , still watch Bottom and for the first few minutes I always forget he’s not here anymore

I do realise Rik didn’t kill himself but it was still awful

I feel the same about Richey Edwards, Christmas. I don’t know about you, but I’m from the same area as him and I still think about him often. I wish his family could have had some definite news about him- it must be awful for them.

For me, George Michael, as a lifelong fan I still find it heartbreaking. Poor Caroline Flack, she always seemed so full of fun & vibrant. Too sad xxx

It seems clear they were both heavily intoxicated. She read texts on his phone and became physically aggressive towards him - exactly how, no-one knows. By the time the police arrives it seems she has turned the aggression on to herself. She is the only party that receives medical attention. A story no doubt played out in homes across the land.

She clearly was troubled, her behaviour was not acceptable. It's how as a society we respond to this behaviour. Male or Female.

Some clearly think, lets throw the book at them - abusers deserve whatever is coming to them. But does this solve anything. Does it help the victim, the individual or does it help society. I don't think so.

When either a man or a woman lifts their hand to their partner in violence, they do not do a quick mental risk assessment - determine what jurisdiction they are in and what the legal response is to their behaviour. More often, they act in rage, it is spontaneous.

This abusive behaviour clearly has to be addressed. There must be a better way than how they treated Caroline.

Also on the night in question she slit her left wrist with a piece of broken glass, she was the only one that went to hospital. Imo she tried to kill herself that evening, she also told the police at the police station (12 hours later) when she was well enough for questioning (I believe) that she would kill herself. Didn't her previous BF Andrew Brady call the police once as she was threatening to kill herself? I find it very sad due to the mental health aspect. I've had fleating moments of dispear and it's all consuming and horrible. NOTHING makes yiu feel better except ending that feeling. For some suicide is their only answer.

Some clearly think, lets throw the book at them - abusers deserve whatever is coming to them. But does this solve anything.

This is exactly why people say that society’s reception would be different if a man abused his wife than killed himself. The abuser deserves to go through the justice system if they have committed a crime. You can’t just write the crime off because it’s a harmless famous woman with mental health concerns. If it was that simple to reform abusers, no form of abuse would exist in 2020.

This abusive behaviour clearly has to be addressed. There must be a better way than how they treated Caroline.

Who are “they?” The CPS? As countlessly explained by others, they did the right thing by continuing with the prosecution. Remember, if you legally turn the other eye to Caroline Flack, you have to give the same discretion to the next person who might not be as endearing. They have the right to a fair trial too. And what do you propose is “the better way?”

I think the CPS pursued this trial against Caroline Flack exactly because she was famous, and they would be criticised if they didn't.

You make it sound like the police and the CPS religiously charge and prosecute DV offenders. They don't. I used to work with DV victims, very few of their partners faced police charges despite quite horrendous injuries in some cases. They were left to take their own civil action in obtaining non-molestation injunctions. This was a while ago, it may have changed.

You can guarantee that this case got very special attention at the CPS exactly because they knew whatever course of action they took would be in the papers.

TheLastWisps OK, let's assume you're right and this case got special attention from the CPS. Who put the lean on the magistrates to agree there was sufficient evidence to send it up to Crown Court?

If there are mental health issues - which is what a lot of people are stating as an outright fact on social media - you don't simply say "well, we won't prosecute". The case still goes to court and you can be found unfit to stand trial (and that may only delay the case) or your mental health issues are brought into play at the sentencing stage. She may well have been found not guilty; she may have been found guilty but given a suspended sentence subject to some treatment IF genuine mental health issues were found to be in play.

Flack apparently said she'd rather kill herself than go to prison when she was being arrested. And now she has. They can't simply not proceed with a case on that score in case she was bluffing as everyone would use it.

@BusterGonad it's sadly very very common for a perp to self harm/ threaten suicide in this scenario. It's 9 times out of 10 another manipulative abuse tactic and I believe is one of the questions on the DASH risk assessment.

And yes legally, abusers absolutely should have the book thrown at them. At the moment everyone knows it is very very hard to even get cps to charge. My ex in family court admitted 46 serious incidents. Criminally, he got charged with assault by beating/threats to kill. He actually admitted it in criminal court else the charges would have been dropped. His punishment was a conditional discharge. So even IF you get to criminal courtbthere is essentially a slap on the wrist waiting for you.

Who put the lean on the magistrates to agree there was sufficient evidence to send it up to Crown Court?

Do they have to agree about there being sufficient evidence? I thought they looked at seriousness in deciding if to send to the crown court, not likelihood of conviction.

Clubfoot What I mean is that it's all very well for people to say the CPS pushed it because of who she was but the CPS can't guarantee what the magistrates will do. Everyone seems to think there are dark wheels and agendas because of her celeb status, or because she's a woman. It could actually just be the natural course of justice. The CPS proceed if there is sufficient evidence AND that there is a strong likelihood that a conviction will be obtained. If the case presented at the magistrates was weak, the magistrates could have thrown it out. Or were they also for some reason giving it "very special attention"?

Just seems like a lot of posters on this thread seem to think she got her just deserts, which to me is horrendous. But it explains why the media go after people like this, because there is a large part of our society that enjoy it. It explains why so many people troll others on social media.

We will look back at this type of use of social media in the way we look at the Colosseum in years to come. We won't fathom how it could be allowed to happen and why people seem to take such pleasure in the downfall and destruction of others. Especially those who have a long way to fall.

She got prosecuted and she paid the ultimate price. Why gloat about it now. What if this was your daughter.

It is horrendous indeed. I had people on my social media account laughing at and celebrating her death, saying it was deserved, and 'natural selection.' I told them they ought to be ashamed of themselves, but of course, they did not care.

If she assaulted her partner, she deserved to be prosecuted, but in no shape or form did she deserve this end.

DonkeyKong I suppose you are right. I know you are right as you've been through it. I guess I'm making it more personal than it really is. Her poor family though. No matter what she was or wasn't they must be going through hell.

@BusterGonad I fully agree. You can still be a domestic abuser and someone who is dearly loved by a lot of people. It's very sad for her and them.

99% of DA-ers wouldn't be persecuted the way she was by the media, that's a lot for anyone to cope with. I can't support her abusive actions but still find the whole situation sad and unnecessary and the media abhorrent.

Her boyfriend is also likely feeling unimaginable guilt right now, it's bad enough when the person you love is being charged when you want the police to drop it. To have this to cope with I really hope he has a lot of support.