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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you've ever felt like this about a celebrity's death

609 replies

twelveminutespast · 15/02/2020 23:56

I didn't know Caroline and she didn't know me, but I can't shake this feeling of sadness about her death. It's really stopped me in my tracks.

To know that someone else felt like life wasn't worth living is just the most horrendous and awful thing to me. I do believe she would have made it through the court case the other side. I'm wondering what she was thinking during her final moments.

I feel so saddened.

Has anyone else ever felt like this about a celebrity when they've passed? If so, who? It probably sounds really pathetic as I didn't know her, but I can't stop thinking about it Sad

OP posts:
Bellendejour · 17/02/2020 09:09

I don’t really understand what you want - she was hounded by the media/online trolls over what she did/is alleged to have done to the point that she killed herself. Chris Brown is still very much alive and making music (have a look here for a comprehensive list of the violent, abusive behaviour that has peppered the past decade of his life while he has continued to work, release albums, receive awards etc: www.billboard.com/articles/news/7494648/chris-brown-legal-problems-timeline). No one is saying she was perfect, she wasn’t. But she was hammered for her actions, in a way many high profile men aren’t, and in some cases by people/outlets who knew how vulnerable she was. She’s dead. She’s paid the ultimate price, and she shouldn’t have had to. She deserved a trial, not a trial by trolls and media. She was so desperate she killed herself and she died alone. And some of us, quite normally I think, feel sad about that.

AngelsSins · 17/02/2020 09:12

My neighbour was beaten so badly by her ex that he broken her collar bone and back, CPS didn’t prosecute, not enough evidence apparently. So let’s stop playing pretend that all violent men who beat women get prosecuted, they don’t.

FlamingoBob · 17/02/2020 09:14

@crispysausagerolls

I agree with you to a certain extent but what has been achieved here? The whole judicial system is massively unfair to both victims and defendants.

FlamingoBob · 17/02/2020 09:21

I think the CPS in this case were more worried at public backlash in dropping charges than they were about doing the right thing for all parties involved.

If this case did not have public scrutiny then I don't think a trial would have been pursued - of course we have the media to blame here too as they would have slaughtered the CPS if they dropped the trial.

Whole thing is incredibly sad.

soph7777 · 17/02/2020 09:22

Kobe Bryant last week for me was awful. With his 13 yr old daughter and not by choice. Just horrible

ShatnersWig · 17/02/2020 09:30

So let’s stop playing pretend that all violent men who beat women get prosecuted, they don’t.

I don't see anyone saying that. I don't see anyone saying the system is perfect. I do see people - including her own agent and management team - quickly laying the blame at the door of CPS. And now the tabloids are joining in. They are all trying to exonerate themselves of any responsibility or culpability in what has happened.

Yes, it is dreadfully sad that someone has taken their life. But there is something a bit distasteful about a lot of the reaction and particularly those who seem to want to cast her as a saint. I've even seen people blaming the boyfriend for ringing 999 FFS.

ShatnersWig · 17/02/2020 09:34

I've seen young women rushing over themselves to say that whatever did happen, even if it was her hitting him with a lamp "is not domestic violence"! Or other young women saying "it was a drunken row, who hasn't had one of them?"

Well, actually, I haven't. And I've never had to call the Police saying "she's trying to kill me" and "she's cracked open my head" with my partner screaming abuse at me clearly audible on the recording. Nor when they arrive they found me covered in blood and telling them "she hit me in the head with a lamp".

A drunken row? Maybe it was. But clearly one that had escalated to a very dangerous and serious extent and clearly why the Police and CPS took the action they did.

FlamingoBob · 17/02/2020 09:36

Definitely no saint but sometimes if someone is behaving in an antisocial manner it's better to ask why and try and help - rather than just throw them to the wolves and the weight of the law at them.

People may feel vindicated and righteous by this heavy handed approach but the reality of the situation is a person is now dead and their partner and family is devastated. No one wins here.

millerjane · 17/02/2020 09:38

Has anyone noticed how there are hardly any flowers outside CF's home?

Waitingfordennis · 17/02/2020 09:39

Flowers? Sure there will be in due course

FlamingoBob · 17/02/2020 09:48

I think you also have to think of another perspective- victims of domestic violence are often reluctant to call the police or access help because they don't want to see their partner, the father of their children vilified in public or face prosecution.

You can be pretty sure Caroline's partner would not call the police again if the same thing ever happened again.

ShatnersWig · 17/02/2020 09:57

I think you also have to think of another perspective- victims of domestic violence are often reluctant to call the police or access help because they don't want to see their partner, the father of their children vilified in public or face prosecution.

Maybe they do think that. Doesn't mean they are thinking correctly. I don't believe we should fail to prosecute alleged abusers because they have kids, or because someone is concerned what the public will think of them.

Shamazing · 17/02/2020 09:58

Has anyone noticed how there are hardly any flowers outside CF's home?

I've only seen one photo taken very early after her death was announced. I would hope that people and reporters would not be reporting on this anyway. It's mawkish.

None of us knows what went on the night she was arrested. As usual, 'a source' seems to have provided information. It could have been a drunken row, it could have been more than that we have no idea. The CPS clearly thought they had enough evidence to go trial but that doesn't mean there would have been a conviction, particularly as she had denied assault and I doubt her boyfriend would have said anything to make things worse for her in court. I totally doubt this would have gone to trial has she not been famous. I'm not saying that's right, I just think it's the case. I'm sure lots of us know of people who have been involved in a domestic altercation that was barely registered, sadly.

ShatnersWig · 17/02/2020 10:06

None of us knows what went on the night she was arrested. As usual, 'a source' seems to have provided information.

I see what you did there with your single inverted comma around two words. Actually, you might like to know the source is a 999 call and statements made by the victim to the Police which were played and reported in court, and the judge made no reporting restrictions. So, I think the source is pretty clear.

EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 10:16

It is horrendously sad. Unfortunately facing justice was a separate issue the law needs to protect against abusers male or female. Suicide is never the right answer.
In answer your OP, yes George Michael I still feel sad when I listen to his songs.

loobyloo1234 · 17/02/2020 10:18

Has anyone noticed how there are hardly any flowers outside CF's home?

That's just not true. There are flowers outside her old home and her new one. Also bear in mind that her address is not exactly being printed in every newspaper. She wasn't Princess Diana where flowers could be left at any palace across London

Im still sad for Caroline. She must have been in complete and utter turmoil. I don't feel comfortable with those that deny that men also get away with DV related incidents. It happens every single day. Women are battered and bruised, and the CPS say 'not enough evidence' - Caroline's case would not have gone to court were she not famous. I am almost sure of this. Seeing as I have dealt with this type of thing for a number of years through a line of work

Loubeale · 17/02/2020 10:18

No I don't. I have had to deal with death and loss at first hand, from my husband to a parent and even close friends. After you've gone through the experience of having to tell a six year old that daddy isn't coming home then , sad thought it is, a suicide of somebody I've never met or had any connection with , who clearly had MH issues, is just the background of everyday life.

AryaStarkWolf · 17/02/2020 10:20

I think it always seems worse when it's a suicide for some reason. That they were that unhappy they choose death.

Shamazing · 17/02/2020 10:28

I see what you did there with your single inverted comma around two words. Actually, you might like to know the source is a 999 call and statements made by the victim to the Police which were played and reported in court, and the judge made no reporting restrictions. So, I think the source is pretty clear.

@ShatnersWig I didn't 'do' anything - that was my belief (looks like I was wrong) I didn't know that the judge made no reporting restrictions so thank you for that info, that clarifies a few things for me.

You didn't need to be snippy to be honest, many people have given others more information, or corrected them when they've been mistaken/wrong on this thread without being so.

crispysausagerolls · 17/02/2020 10:34

@FlamingoBob

But what would have been achieved if the charges were dropped and she went on to hurt somebody else?! People who take their life don’t just do it willynilly - she must have been troubled. Her ex made a comment around the time she was charged with assault which implied she had also assaulted him.

shivbo2014 · 17/02/2020 10:37

Caroline Flack death has left me feeling the same way I can't stop thinking about her. Amy Winehouse was another one that really upset me. I really loved her music I also hung around similar areas/pubs she did and she was 3 days younger than me so I compared my life to hers and it made me so sad how hers had turned out. Also, Jade Goody and Peaches Geldof.

YellowPansy · 17/02/2020 10:38

Cannot get upset about a Z list celeb who was a violent thug.

AngelsSins · 17/02/2020 11:08

Innocent until proven guilty is only for men.

namechangetheworld · 17/02/2020 13:09

The hypocrisy on MN is laughable. All of this bleating about how 'troubled' she was. If this was a male celebrity who dated a 17 year old and smashed his partner over the head with a lamp the reactions would be markedly different.

I'm incredibly sad for her family, especially her father who found her. I'm sure that image will stay with him for the rest of his life and I honestly can't imagine anything worse.

Ponoka7 · 17/02/2020 13:13

@YellowPansy
"Cannot get upset about a Z list celeb who was a violent thug."

You're part of the problem.

"Innocent until proven guilty is only for men"
Absolutely.

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