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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH work colleague weird message

120 replies

cantwell · 15/02/2020 22:21

I work with DH,

This evening a young female who works with us (but closer with him) sent him a heart as a message. Nothing else, just that.

AIBU to message her about this?

OP posts:

peanutbutterbanana1 · 15/02/2020 23:13

Yes definitely think DH replying with ‘?’ Would be best

LuluJakey1 · 15/02/2020 23:15

Could just be a mistake. A colleague asked me one morning why I had sent him such off emojis the night before. I had no idea what he was talking about but had somehow pressed about 6 emojis ranging from one blowing heart shaped kisses to one which was vomiting and one which was a pile of poo. I was mortified but he thought it was funny fortunately.

Bagofoldbones · 15/02/2020 23:30

I don’t understand why she would look ridiculous tbh. They work together. Why should women always keep their mouth shut?

I’d be fine with saying ‘xxx was that heart meant for dh? We had a right giggle at it. Who was it supposed to go to?’ And I’d probably say it in front of the team.

I can understand how Op feels as I often work with dh in our office. If it’s a mistake they should be able to laugh it off, if it’s not it’s a pisstake as the woman knows OP

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2020 23:36

I don’t understand why she would look ridiculous tbh. They work together. Why should women always keep their mouth shut?

I don't understand what 'women always keeping their mouth shut' has to do with this?

It's about her husband...the one who actually received the message and who is/isn't going to react to it and why.

The OP is married to him, she's not his owner or personal secretary so of course she would look ridiculous if she replied instead of him.

Flufferbum · 15/02/2020 23:36

I would get him to message back a question mark

toast1123 · 15/02/2020 23:37

Is she quite flirty with him? I know women who will send kisses to their superiors at the ends of texts as a trying-to-be-cute thing, if they have that kind of relationship. Bit odd, mind.

HarrietSchulenberg · 15/02/2020 23:42

£5 says she was in the pub with her mates and left her phone unlocked on the table while she went for a wee. Mates had some fun and sent emojis to everyone in her contacts.
We've all been there. Well, some of us (might) have.

Bagofoldbones · 15/02/2020 23:43

worral wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d ask her on Monday in the office

Chesntoots · 15/02/2020 23:45

There was an entire thread on here the other day where someone had two email strings on the go and sent the wrong one to the wrong person.

That's likely the case here and she is either too mortified to text again or is so drink she hasn't noticed sending it to the wrong person. If ther rest of the conversation is work stuff I would assume it's a mistake.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2020 23:47

worral wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. I’d ask her on Monday in the office

If your husband was worth his salt, you wouldn't have to.

That's the point a few people are making here.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2020 23:49

Generally a love heart emoji means one of those stupid breast cancer awareness things.

You see them on FB all the time. If anyone queries it, they get a stupid message saying "Because you replied, you need to send a love heart to 10 people on your contact list. Keep it going".

It's a pile of attention seeking bollocks as a rule.

Sparklesocks · 15/02/2020 23:50

@Bagofoldbones I don’t understand why She’d have the need to speak to him though, the husband got the the message - not her?

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 15/02/2020 23:53

I don’t understand why she would look ridiculous tbh. They work together. Why should women always keep their mouth shut?

She'd look silly because she'd be responding to a message not meant for her and she'd look jealous, paranoid and insecure. If it really was a flirty message which seems unlikely it would send a much stronger message if her DH acted like a grown up and shut her down himself.

yogo · 15/02/2020 23:54

Ignore it.

Plantainchips · 15/02/2020 23:54

Why would YOU contact her ? It has nothing to do with you, he should.

Honestly, you contacting her over heart would be embarrassing and rather sad.

Friendsofmine · 15/02/2020 23:58

When my friend's husband was cheating with a work colleague he kept all their work texts and deleted the individual ones throughout the day that were about their affair. He confessed this in Relate as per standard trickle truth.

Even if he replied to say "That was inappropriate I am married" it could all be for show and he could apologise the next day saying he had to text you that as you'd seen the heart.

Is anything else setting off your spidey senses?

Girlking · 16/02/2020 00:01

@WorraLiberty ...stupid breast cancer awareness things? What an insensitive thing to say

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 00:10

It's not insensitive at all Girlking.

They are completely stupid imo.

If you want to make people aware of breast cancer, posting silly little lovehearts with no text/facts/statistics/news whatsoever is ridiculous.

As are the "Black" "Blue" "Red" random FB posts. The first person to query or just post a ? gets sent an inbox with the ridiculous "You've been chosen to pass it on message".

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 00:12

The "Black" "Blue" "Red" etc, being what colour bra someone is wearing.

They're about as useful to breast cancer awareness as "I bet I won't get one single like" posts to other charities.

Didkdt · 16/02/2020 00:50

I agree the Love Heart for breast cancer is silly and this is a cancer running through my family
If the other woman meant breast cancer she'd have texted everyone she knew including OP or just people who would understand It is possibly a mistake and a simple ? in reply would clear it up
It is possible the OP has spidery senses
But why a woman would text a male work colleague an emoji about breast cancer is beyond me

MsDogLady · 16/02/2020 01:09

Other colleagues have said before that she fancies him.

They work closely, coworkers have mentioned to you that she fancies him, and now she sends him a heart. My husband would not be ignoring this. He would be addressing it, immediately.

Bagofoldbones · 16/02/2020 01:09

worrell I get what your saying and yes he should message himself questioning it.

But it’s looking like he won’t. I’d be properly pissed off at that and I’d raise it in the office on Monday. I never once said I’d text her back.

What does my head in on here is how quick other women are so quick to say - it’s none of your business, it’s got nothing to do with you...

Well yeah it has she’s in a relationship with and he is getting heart messages. He’s not in a rush to ask what it’s about so the OP needs to stand up for herself incase he is dicking about.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 01:12

But why a woman would text a male work colleague an emoji about breast cancer is beyond me

Well normally it's something like 'send to the first 10 people on your phone' or something like that.

And also (one of the reasons I hate these things) men can also get breast cancer even though it's fairly rare. Just the fact it's fairly rare means (imo) they should definitely be the target audience too and even if it's not aimed at them personally, they'll still be affected by female loved ones who get cancer.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2020 01:13

Well yeah it has she’s in a relationship with and he is getting heart messages. He’s not in a rush to ask what it’s about so the OP needs to stand up for herself incase he is dicking about.

Yeah, she needs to stand up to the man she married in case the man who stood in front of her and made vows to her, is dicking about...

Bagofoldbones · 16/02/2020 01:17

I’d say she can do both tbf - I would

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