I am not at all a competitive parent. For me my kids having active, full lives where they are happy, have good friendships, work at school to the best of their ability and are kind is more important to me than them being at the best school/top set in class/or any sort of prodigy. But I'm struggling with what to do about piano lesson. Would love to hear other people's opinions.
My 13 DD has been taking piano lessons for 3.5 years. Started b/c she wanted to. No pressure from me. One of 3 dc and she is the only one that takes piano. The same time she started 3 other friend's dc started ranging in age from 7-12 (dd was 10). 3.5 years on all my friend's dc are really doing so well, obviously the older ones on the whole progressing quicker than the younger ones, but my dd not so much. We just had the winter recital today and my dd plays more like the kids who started last term (September). She is clunky, makes many mistakes (every couple bars), and has no fluency to her playing at all. She practices minimally, she practices but not what is expected for her age and level - for example she will play 2 scales make mistakes in both and just carry on, never go back and play them again. She will play 1-2 current songs, loads of mistakes and doesn't do what is suggested like go through the bars she struggles with and just play those a few times, then go back and try the song again. She's 13 so she knows. Her attitude is that it is good enough and move on. Her teacher has addressed this, to no avail.
I wondered if it is to do with musicality. But she's very musical and her year at school had the opportunity to learn strings and she's doing remarkably well (teacher said on par with dc who have lessons outside of school, she doesn't), but she hates it. She also has a lovely voice but hates singing. That doesn't matter but kind of proves it isn't that she can't do it.
Here's my dilemma, these lessons are expensive. I pay £20/week which is £80/month (whether you have lessons in 1/2 term or not, you are charged the same monthly rate) plus the books and other items you need to buy like practice books (both the books with pieces in it and the school's practice recording books), they also charge £20 per family to attend three times a year concerts, and there's an annual registration fee of £50. They also insist on lessons It all adds up to about £100/month year round. That's a huge amount in our budget. And she's really not progressing. I mean I'd go so far as to say it sounds terrible though I'd never say that to her and I comment on positive things as well as make suggestions based on what the teacher put in her practice sheet. The school is amazing and I don't blame them, in 3 years she's had two teachers and it's the same with both, it's her hap hazard attitude that is the issue. She learns a song, stops practising it, and it's gone. Doesn't need to practice anymore as she says she knows the song now it isn't like she'll forget. And of course that's exactly what happened.
Today at the recital it was almost embarrassing and I hate admitting that as a Mum because everything in me says it shouldn't matter what stage she's at. A couple people came came up to us saying what a tricky piece for a beginner and well done for being so brave. Well, she's been playing 3.5 years and it's a piece that all my friends dc mastered within a couple terms of lessons. It's a very large music school, so these people didn't know she wasn't a beginner. All the kids playing the number of years she has are going in for exams at this stage and play with fluency. She honestly wasn't much better than those that started in January, and not even as good as some of the dc who started in September. She just shrugs her shoulders and says oh well.
What do I do? Keep paying £100/month when she won't follow teacher's recommended practice techniques, practices in 5-10 minute bursts with constant mistakes and never tries to fix it, and really isn't progressing? Or tell her unless I see some progress - more to do with attitude and not to do with mastering anything - this is her last term? She doesn't have to be ready to take exams, nor the best, or even amazing, but I think she should be willing to practice well, work at things to learn them and progress. I don't care how fast but progress.
FWIW she loves piano and says how she plays is good enough for her.
What would you do? £1200 for a kid to play a couple songs at the exact same pace/level/skill set over a year or two is truly a massive waste of money. I've spent just shy of £4000 on lessons and honestly she knows a few scales by heart and a song I'm sure she could have taught herself via youtube. I am a single parent, £4000 is a huge amount of money, I could have started proper retirement savings, we could have afforded a nice holiday somewhere like Cornwall for less than the cost of these lessons and I could have saved the rest. This dc is very intelligent - high marks at school - if she put her mind to it she could be at such a different place with her piano playing. I think more than anything I feel disappointment considering the sacrifice to make it happen - when she started I picked up 4 extra hours a week of work in order to make it happen. I already work more than full time hours.