To be annoyed they wouldn’t sell the false nails to me?

[RhodaCamel]

Dd (12) and I have just got back from a shopping trip.
We popped into B&M, I purchased a few bits and dd had chosen some body butter and a pack of false nails for herself. She was purchasing them with some pocket money so I made my purchases first and paid up and dd popped her bits in the conveyor belt so she could pay for these bits herself.
The lady at the till looked at dd then called over the manager. I was stood next to dd and asked what the problem was. The manager said she needed proof of ID to show if dd was over 14 (no label in false nails stating this). I said ‘She is 12, is it because there is glue in the pack?’, they said yes and I said I understood, no worries I’ll buy them. The manager came back with ‘No, I can not sell them to you as your daughter is standing with you and we know they are for her’, wtf!! I then said ‘Well, that’s ridiculous but ok. I’ll sent dd back to the car and I’ll go back round, pick up a new pack of nails and pay for them myself’.....’No, we won’t sell them to you today as we know they are for your dd’!!!!!!
WTAF?? I totally understand there must be rules, regulations and policies to safeguard vulnerable people etc but is this not taking it to a completely new level, FFS!!

The proxy thing really confuses me. I do the weekly shop with at least one of my children (age 5 and 2). At what point will I have to be refused wine as I might be ‘buying it for the kids’?

Despite the extreme cases that have appeared over the years (and will no doubt appear on this thread as they do every thread about this) citing ridiculoius scenarios of cashiers going ott over parents buying alcohol while they shop with their toddlers, most cashiers are not stupid and dont think adults are buying a bottle of wine for their 2 yr old. Give us some credit!

I do the weekly shop with at least one of my children (age 5 and 2)

Your 5 and 2 year old are not bringing wine to the till and presenting it for sale.
In the situation the Op has outlined there would have been no issue if she had brought the nails to the till herself- the staff would not be expected to know that they were in fact for the 12 year old.

I hated this when I worked in retail. I ID'd a young lass who came in to buy cigarettes. She had no ID so I refused to serve her, but saw her go back outside to an older Male and ask him to come in. He came in and asked for these cigarettes. I refused to serve him and told him that if I had served him I would be breaking the law for doing a proxy sale. I was verbally abused and they both threatened to come back when the store closed at 10pm and smash my head in. Some stores if they're caught selling to underaged people they then have to ID every person who buys age related products regardless of whether they are 16 or 90. I've also been on the other side of it and when I went to see my BF I left my purse with my ID back at home 98 miles away. I asked for some cigarettes in sainsburys and got ID'd I was 31 said it was ok it was my fault for leaving my ID my BF went to buy some for himself and they wouldn't serve him either because we were together. He was 49 at the time. In the end we went over to the petrol station and he went in and I stayed in the car

@Icantfind

The proxy thing really confuses me. I do the weekly shop with at least one of my children (age 5 and 2). At what point will I have to be refused wine as I might be ‘buying it for the kids’?

If your 5yr old was stood there with a bottle of wine on the belt separately to the rest of your shopping and trying to pay for it him/herself, of course they'd refuse to sell it to you if you then tried to pay for it.

Or were you joking?

The proxy thing really confuses me. I do the weekly shop with at least one of my children (age 5 and 2). At what point will I have to be refused wine as I might be ‘buying it for the kids’?

Wine in amongst the weekly shop is unlikely to be an issue unless one of your children brings it over and puts it on the belt, or asks you to put wine with your shopping, or hands you the money whilst putting the wine with your shopping.

Should your daughter go home and injure herself with the glue, or sniff it and damage herself, they don't want to have played any part in that. If the worst happened, and you pointed out the retailer knew they were for a child, they could be liable for damages.

YABU
I saw a parent do this once with a can of redbull that was for her 10ish year old son. She went mad over wanting to give her son redbull it was crazy.

I absolutely understand why a member of staff wouldn't risk a fine and their own job for the sake of letting the sale go through. I don't understand the inconsistencies. I regularly buy alcohol and other age-restricted items in the presence of an underage teen, who I bring with me to pack heavy items. I wouldn't quibble it if challenged, but the fact is it hasn't happened yet. No wonder people are confused.

I didn't know that refusing to serve coffee to under 16s was a thing until the other day.

Apparently costa introduced the policy in some locations in 2018 and I don't drink coffee out so had no idea until my Dsis told me that her and Dnephew went into a local coffee shop (not Costa)last week and ordered two lattes and they asked his age.

He is 15 and they refused.

The staff aren't allowed to sell to someone underage.

You have put them on notice that even if you buy it yourself, it's intended for use by someone underage.

Therefore, they can't sell it to you.

For all they know, you could be a mystery shopper hired by their head office or an undercover shopper from trading standards, so they're obviously not going to take the risk.

It not personal. And you know for next time.

Sure some people will hate me for this, but why not go and play tennis or go to the gym or something rather than reinforcing all the stuff in social media about girls and make up and appearance changing to match images seen. Be natural be yourself, I am sure you are interesting and beautiful and dont need so called enhancements.

The difference between alcohol/ cigarettes and false nails is clear. You legally have to be of a certain age to use alcohol and cigarettes but as far as I know there is no such legal age for use of glue. The law exists to protect young people from the abuse of solvents. Same applies to a kitchen knife, and I have to say I’d be very to be refused the sale of a knife when accompanied by a teenager. The law on sales to youngsters is to prevent misuse not use.
I bought candles the other day and they had a think 25 attached to them when I put them through the till. Didn’t stop me putting them on my child’s birthday cake.

Oh how rubbish! Primark sell the tiniest little false nails for kids (I mean 3yr old nails tiny!) Those I can understand. How come they can get around that and B&M can't? I've been ID'd for cigarettes so many times. I once told the (I'm assuming) 20ish yr old assistant, "I'm most likely old enough to be around your mothers age. Stop it." She laughed and sold me them.

So I’m safe with toddlers, how about in 10 years when I’ve got a 15yo with me? Could/would that be questioned?

I’m not saying he passes the wine / separate on the conveyor, but if it’s part of my shop?

I absolutely understand why a member of staff wouldn't risk a fine and their own job for the sake of letting the sale go through. I don't understand the inconsistencies. I regularly buy alcohol and other age-restricted items in the presence of an underage teen, who I bring with me to pack heavy items. I wouldn't quibble it if challenged, but the fact is it hasn't happened yet. No wonder people are confused.

It's about the balance of probabilities that the age restricted items are being bought on behalf of the underage persons

Alcohol in particular - it's not illegal to buy alcohol, open it in your home and share it with someone underage. However, it is illegal to specifically buy alcohol on their behalf

In this case the cashier knew that the OP wasn't buying the item, her underage DD was and the OP was only wanting to proxy buy them

I do understand the proxy rules but if that is B&m's policy fine but they need stickers on these items explaining their policy to avoid confusion and putting their staff in uncomfortable situations, I will email them.
And the inconsistencies between stores is annoying, DD and her friend purchased false nails (with glue) from another store before Xmas with no issues.

Proxy rules are not B&M policy. They are the law.

I am curious why they said she had to be 14. If it's the glue then the age would be 18. I personally would contact the manager to confirm what the actual rule is. Sales assistants have to be very very careful over age restricted sales but if they are stating incorrect facts then the manager needs to talk to them.

@EmmiJay primark can sell the toddler/small/child false nails because there’s no glue in there, they’re got the gluey stuff on them that they used to use to stick free gifts to magazines or sticky tabs.

There is no age 14 age restriction that I can find so they are making up their own policy

You legally have to be of a certain age to use alcohol and cigarettes but as far as I know there is no such legal age for use of glue.

www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk/business/trading-standards/age-restricted-products

Legal age to purchase: 18 Includes butane gas, lighter fuel, correction fluid, marker pens, glue

Same applies to a kitchen knife, and I have to say I’d be very to be refused the sale of a knife when accompanied by a teenager.

If the teenager attempted to buy it and was refused then you would not be allowed to buy it for them.

Primark sell the tiniest little false nails for kids (I mean 3yr old nails tiny!) Those I can understand. How come they can get around that and B&M can't?

Stick on nails don't have glue in the pack.

Young girls want false nails? False nails for toddlers? Urgh...

The age restriction on selling solvents and some other types of glue is actually 18yrs.
Staff are covering themselves by not selling products with glue when they know they are to be given to underage kids. Its drummed into them from day one and nobody is going to risk their job over false nails.

Its not a bad idea to email them op and get their policy explained properly.

Toddler nails have sticky pads to apply them not glue!

@Icantfind
I don't know about every shop but the one I used to work in (big supermarket) you were only supposed to ID the person paying for the item unless you had some proof of them buying for someone else.

So for example if a group on young people came to the till and only one was buying beer you would only ID that person, unless you had seen/heard another person from the group ask them to buy it for them.

In OPs case they had clearly witnessed a proxy happening.

why are you desperate for your child to have something that is banned for minors? The glue that comes with false nails is pretty grim and totally destroys the nail bed. I wouldn’t encourage my child to use them.

We have a real problem at my school atm with 10-12 year olds coming in with false nails glued on and parents not seeing the problem. It impedes their fine motor (which they are still developing), stops them doing arts and crafts and gym properly. If they catch it on something, it’s bloody painful. Let kids be kids.

I myself, pretty much have a permanent manicure, but I would never cover my nails in those crappy solvents, it does horrible damage.