is this normal?

[unusualornormal]

I'm in the middle of organising a funeral and a close member of the family is unable to come to the funeral or visit the funeral home. They have asked for a photograph of the deceased to be taken in the chapel of rest as they are sad about not being able to go to the chapel and say their goodbyes.

Is this a normal request? I don't know whether to agree or not but don't want to be mean.

If it's not normal, should I agree anyway?

Also what about the deceased person. Would they want pictures taken of them after death? I think remember them how they were. I certainly would not want pictures taken of myself after death.

I’m also sorry for your loss

Oh my @Cherrysoup, those Victorian pictures are so very sad

It's cultural. When I was about 10yo my best friend showed me photos of their dead great grandparents. It was odd, but interesting. When I went home and told my mother she explained it was a cultural thing, and most people in England don't take photos of dead relatives.

Personally I wouldn't want my photo taken after I'm dead. I can't imagine I'll be looking my best.

Also what about the deceased person. Would they want pictures taken of them after death?

As I said upthread, they'd either not be bothered or say "over my dead body" depending who was asking.

The elderly dead people I've seen have looked a lot better dead than alive.

@PickwickThePlockingDodo desperate, aren’t they? But then maybe in the future, when we’ve found an amazing way to keep all babies safe and healthy, people will look back and think that concepts like cold cots are really strange. Maybe-hopefully-the practice of burying people will be a thing of the past. I find that really weird.

And (more triggering pictures in link) the Toraja people of Indonesia keep their dead in the house and look after them. They often don’t bury them until they’ve saved enough for a massive funeral, sometimes years later. They introduce them to visitors as though they’re alive.

www.thesun.co.uk/news/worldnews/8450818/toraja-sect-dead-relatives-home-feed-cuddle-rotting-bodies-indonesia/

Oh no Cherry, I should not have looked at that but weirdly I couldn't stop myself looking and the poor buffalo

It's not normal to me, but if it brings the person comfort I wouldn't hesitate. I couldn't take the photo personally, but I'd ask the funeral directors to do it and send it on. It's the least I could do.