Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give my DDs this for dinner? Pic attached

166 replies

EverythingsEasy · 14/02/2020 17:32

I know it’s nothing bad on their plate but it’s not a hot meal and i don’t know much about nutrition. I know there is obviously veg, whole meal bread which i know is better. Then tuna which I’m sure is healthy and olives etc.

My DDs love this sort of meal with lots of different things on their plate and ask me to give them this often but I feel lazy giving them something that hardly requires any prep.

Is this nutritious enough for an evening meal?

YABU - I shouldn’t be giving them that for dinner

YANBU - it’s perfectly fine

To give my DDs this for dinner? Pic attached
OP posts:
OscarWildesCat · 14/02/2020 19:35

You must know that this is ok OP?, dont you know about children living in poverty all over the UK, its regularly in the news, surely you realise that they are not eating as well as this?. I tend to agree with the stealth boast.

GoulashSoup · 14/02/2020 19:37

I wouldn’t worry about hot dinners OP. My children (7 and 3) love a “selection plate” as they call it. A good balance of fibre, protein and some carb. A good variety of flavours.

If I was trying to find fault I would worry about the salt content of tuna, processed ham, olives and sliced bread in one meal. But only seeing one meal in isolation is not an indicator of their entire diet, so long as not all meals are high salt it is fine.

TheDarkPassenger · 14/02/2020 19:38

Mine get some form of shit out of the freezer or pizza on a Friday night.

Just for context 😂

scrivette · 14/02/2020 19:38

I know what you mean about something hot. My Mum thinks DS is fussy because this sort of thing is his all he ever wants and she thinks he should be eating more 'hot' food.

Graphista · 14/02/2020 19:41

Absolutely fine! Just because a cooked “fancy” dish has the ingredients mixed together and heated up doesn’t make it more nutritious, in many cases it can mean its LESS Nutritious.

I raised dd alone since she was a toddler and for several years was working full time AND helping care for an elderly relative so was run ragged!

Dd LOVED this sort of “picky” dinner and it even meant she ate some things she wasn’t normally a big fan of! Parenting win right there!

Your meal has protein, healthy carbs, fats, calcium, vits & minerals it’s fantastic!

@nowayorhighway nothing wrong with pizza either, carbs, calcium, plenty vits and minerals if you do decent toppings. I’ve done myself a pizza tonight. It’s just me here now so I don’t get big pizzas I just get a “bargain” individual cheese and tomato one in my Sainsburys shop and I add some sliced veggies and extra cheese.

I struggle with my mh and at one point couldn’t cope with cooking at all. I felt very guilty that dd was living on sandwiches, salads, cold “buffet” food and even at times happy meals and other takeaways.

I bottled my worries up on this for weeks and then dd got a tummy bug (was going around school loads of the kids had it and she was one of the last to catch it) and my guilt overwhelmed me and I poured my heart out to our sw. I was breaking my heart sobbing and she placed a hand on my arm and assured me that I was not doing anything wrong. To further reassure me she asked what dd had for dinner the past week, I went through what she’d had and of course it contained a good mix of carbs, protein, veg and fruit and she actually said something along the lines of “I wish my dc were eating that well they’re right fusspots!” And did a little chuckle and I felt so much better.

I look back on that time with sadness, I really didn’t need to be as worried as I was! Wish I’d known of mn then as I’m sure you lovely lot would have put me straight and maybe even suggested ways I could manage with my limitations at that time, though thinking back she always had a balanced meal and not the same thing 2 nights in a row. Variety is the key.

When I learned more formally about nutrition at school I had a “lightbulb” moment when I realised my mum - who I’m ashamed to now admit I didn’t think put a great deal of thought into our meals (I was SO wrong!) - made sure we ate quite a variety of food, we had fish twice a week (and this would have been before that was a widely advertised recommendation) different veggies every night (albeit inc some very “70’s” staples like cabbage, cauliflower, butter beans etc) and different carbs every night (we did mostly have potatoes like most 70’s/80’s households buy at least twice a week we’d have another carb usually rice or pasta), different sauces and herbs & spices too. I don’t know how she did it as she worked full time, was run ragged after 3 dc and a not especially helpful husband and was dealing with a very tight budget!

Dd is now a 19 year old in rude health mostly (she has a genetic disability which was undx at that time) and a good eater both in terms of amount AND the variety she eats. There’s little she genuinely doesn’t like and it mainly includes less healthy foods anyway (due to her disability she doesn’t get on with high fat especially deep fried foods. So she’s unusual for her peer group as she hates chips - well potatoes generally - deep fried breaded stuff and chocolate) although she has other favourites that aren’t the healthiest so she’s no saint, she’s constantly chewing gum and she loves haribo type sweets, and “little kid” sweets like strawberry laces.

ClappyFlappy · 14/02/2020 19:41

I love a picky bits dinner. Off to go and buy stuff for one myself actually 😆

AmazingGreats · 14/02/2020 19:42

We eat LOTS of cold food in my house, which on balance is often better quality than the hot food we eat most of the time. If it's a toss up between an unmade sandwich with plenty of salad and chicken nuggets and chips, yours wins hand down.

My kids hate hot vegetables and most things where the ingredients are mixed together or in sauce, so we eat a lot of separate items that often aren't even a cohesive meal (this is a cohesive meal).

Raspberrytruffle · 14/02/2020 19:51

Op @EverythingsEasy you need to chill out you sound a very caring but anxious mum! I used to be like this but dd2 has sen and I learned after daily feeding battles and hours of crying worrying that I was a bad mum because all dd would drink was her high calorie ensure, pure apple juice and ate only a particular brand of porridge and toast for years. Having to photograph every meal I cooked to prove I was offering her variety because our new dietitian thought I wasn't trying hard enough or just not offering her food. So I learned that any food dd ate was a battle win, 10 years old now and we have a new dietician, dd has a gastronomy tube fitted so its taking the pressure off us, she now eats a variety of food and is also a good healthy weight. Just chill mama Wine

NormanChrist · 14/02/2020 20:07

Come on people! I’m not seeing stealth boast here just an honest question.

OP nothing wrong with that, the hot meal paranoia is very 80’s so don’t worry about that. Also I find rather than focus on one meal look at what they eat over a week and if it’s beige with very little colour then you need to up your game but if it’s varied and the kids are happy then crack on.

Also, people are dicks about judging food sometimes... ignore them.

SW16 · 14/02/2020 20:23

we had fish twice a week (and this would have been before that was a widely advertised recommendation)

It didn’t need advertising: in ye olden days fish was much cheaper than meat and cod, haddock, herring, sprats, ‘dabs’, whiting, kippers etc were a common ‘tea’ where I lived.

Poohpooh · 14/02/2020 20:23

The phrase 'picky bits' makes me shudder. Is it a regional thing?

I always imagine someone picking bits of food up with long nails.

Smithtylater · 14/02/2020 20:25

@poohpooh i agree 'picky tea' makes me cringe!

eggandonion · 14/02/2020 20:26

We called it a buffet!

Ginfordinner · 14/02/2020 20:27

DH and I have had a "picky tea". Perhaps I should rephrase it to deli buffet tea. Does that sound better?

ClappyFlappy · 14/02/2020 20:28

We’ve always just called it a picky bits dinner in our house, have done long before I was on mumsnet. It’s alright if it makes you cringe, you’re not going to be invited round for any Grin

Tillymintsmama · 14/02/2020 20:31

Looks yummy. You could always give them a mug of veg or tomato soup if you wanted to add something hot!

Poohpooh · 14/02/2020 20:33

Perhaps I should rephrase it to deli buffet tea. Does that sound better?

Scratch meal will do! Grin

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 14/02/2020 20:33

It's not going to kill them and certainly better than a happy meal (no child actually has the carrot sticks), maybe a bit salty if I'm splitting hairs? Olives, processed/reformed ham, pesto, salted butter/spread on the bread and what was the tuna in?

Sparrowlegs248 · 14/02/2020 20:35

My 3 and 4 yr old had pasta with cheddar grated on, pepperoni and corn on the cob. They were exhausted yet hungry so would happily shovel cheesy pasta in.

nameymcnamechangeagain · 14/02/2020 20:41

My 9 year old dd would ALWAYS choose picky bits, or “packed lunch but without the bread” for dinner! Makes no odds if it’s hot surely? And compared to her brother who is a “beige baby” like a previous poster mentioned, I’m happy!!! He’s a chicken nuggets and chips kinda kid!!!

Goldenbear · 14/02/2020 20:41

How's it a stealth boast?? A plate of cut up salad veg, some olives from a pot, a slice of bread which the OP has spread some butter on- hardly home made Falafel from The River Cottage Baby and Toddler Cookbook. That is not a criticism OP my 8 year old has basically had an ice cream for dinner! I should add, due to many rejections of wholesome delights presented to her- before anybody reports that!

Graphista · 14/02/2020 20:42

@SW16 i'm sure you're right! Parents both from poor working class backgrounds (but fisher in the family on one side would have had an influence as they got fish at “cost” too) and they hadn’t a lot to spend in our household either. So lots of “bulking” foods like potatoes, bread, lentils etc

Also dad and both grandads grew what they could if they had a garden or allotment at various points, grans grew some herbs in the kitchens.

Money definitely a factor. Perhaps it was because as a society we grew more wealthy and ate more red meat and less fish and then it was realised we were missing out on the nutrients from fish and so that’s when the advertising came in?

I find the social history around food and meals fascinating.

Lipperfromchipper · 14/02/2020 20:45

It’s perfectly fine OP, my 4 and 6 yr old love those kinds of dinners (we call them picky plates) mine also LOVE olives and tomatoes and most other veg raw too!!

Franticbutterfly · 14/02/2020 20:48

Everyone gives their DCs random food occasionally, don’t sweat it.

EverythingsEasy · 14/02/2020 20:55

Thanks to those who have rightly pointed out, why on earth would this be a stealth boast?

The pesto pasta was leftovers. The tuna mayo & sweet corn was also leftovers. Then I chopped up veg that I spent literally 1 minute assembling on a plate. I don’t understand how some of you think I’d be boasting about that???

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread