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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think this is NOT good enough?! I am furious!!

392 replies

Peanutsaga · 14/02/2020 09:32

NC’d So dd (8) has a nut allergy and has an epipen that she brings to school. Long story short, a girl in her class brought in a cereal type bar into school with her lunch but it had peanuts and other nuts in it as well as chocolate chips (you know the ones!)
Dd informed me that she saw said girl with the bar and then avoided her for the rest of the day and she could even smell the peanuts. I called into the school to let them know that this had happened but in short I was told, that the school had informed the parents of the no nut policy and sent it out via letter and newsletter, and that there wasn’t much else they can do as they cannot police the lunch boxes every morning. Is that it? I feel really let down and nervous about dd at school now!!

OP posts:
ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 15:30

So can you address Allergy UK and other world leading dieticians and allergists all talking against outright bans?

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 15:35

peanuts are the number one trigger of food-related anaphylaxis. It’s an airborne allergen. Dairy isn’t airborne.

ddraig be careful with the salt, to much is bad for you. Not quite sure what a clump is though.

I quite happy to provide admin with evidence of my qualifications and experience. Just ask them and I will oblige. You won’t do that will you, it’s easier to insulate I’m lying isn’t it.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 15:36

The parents who don’t bother and send in food containing nuts are selfish.

So on that logical any parent who brings allergens food that are known, are also selfish, not just nuts, but dairy, citrus, strawberries etc...

ddraig your post doesn’t make sense.

what doesn't make sense is your ramblings, ddraig posts are factual,correct and not make up lies and nonsense.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 15:36

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Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 15:37

Nah ddraig I think my son will Be happier following his consultants advice if that’s ok with you.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 15:41

So your consultant told your son to never ever ever be anywhere where there could potentially be nuts.

How's his life in his bubble going?

Because you in your dull state keep thinking we're telling nut allergy children to eat nuts. Nobody has said that have they?

But allergens are around.
You can't avoid them.
Your son can't avoid them. His allergies are nobody else's problem. He needs to learn to deal with it.

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 15:42

I’ve reported your post as libellous. But you crack on.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 15:44

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Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 15:54

ddraig he does deal with it by following his consultants advice and carrying 2 epipens. He’s an adult. He doesn’t live in a bubble. I have at no time said posters are telling those with nut allergies to eat nuts. He can’t completely avoid allergens but he can limit exposure to a certain extent. Are you saying his consultant is wrong?

You’ve queried my qualifications and experience, infact you’ve called me a liar. All because I’ve disagreed with you. When told I’d prove my qualifications in true abuser script you declined as I not worth your time.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 15:55

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Oxfordnono12 · 15/02/2020 15:58

What else could the school do to protect your child?

None of my kids have an allergy but I know the school has banned nut products in the school and have sent messages to parents every few weeks as a reminder to parents not to send ANY in with children.
My boys taking in breakfast bars but are warned not to bring in the nut ones, they dont. I belive parents also have a responsibility.

I'm sorry, you are hitting a brick wall. I think when some parents child doesn't have an allergy then are less understanding and less willing to take on board the consequences of a reaction which makes it harder for the child who has the allergy.

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 16:00

Law degree, post grad qualification in legal practice followed by a training contract. (Qualified as a nurse in the 80’s.)Specialised in personal injury and med neg.

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 16:01

Thank you Oxford for your very sensible post.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 16:02

Great.

I'm an brain surgeon astronaut. Prepping for our next mission to Xandar.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 16:02

He’s advised to remove himself from the room if he sees anyone eating nuts.

Your son is an individual, as his managment and treatment care plan he would be given this advise on an individual, however that does not mean everyone with an allergy must leave the room if there allergen is in a room, it really isn't rocket science Hmm

As with my Ds if a dog comes into the room, he has to remove himself from that room as thats his management care plan, that doesnt mean that everyone who has an allergy must manage their allergens the same way Hmm

And still the leading "world renowned medical expert in this field* still advise not to ban foods in schools.

UK Allergy FAQ for parents

Anaphylaxis campaign on ALL allergies

Lelophants · 15/02/2020 16:05

Can you let your child know to speak to a teached next time it happens so they can let the other child know why she can't have them?
The school could at least speak to named girl and send a noticed around explaining why it's so important.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 16:05

I have at no time said posters are telling those with nut allergies to eat nuts.

Unless I have missed something, not a single person has said this Confused

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 16:08

sorry this should say

Your son is an individual, as his allergy managment and treatment care plan he would be given this advise on an individual, that does not mean everyone with an allergy must leave the room if there allergen is in a room with them...., a child with a dairy allergy doesnt leave the lunch room with all the kids eating cheese sandwiches and drinking mik..... it really isn't rocket science hmm

HoldMyLobster · 15/02/2020 16:15

Interesting bits from those links Haud. It looks like what our local schools have consistently done, on the advice of specialist allergy doctors, is correct.

Anaphylaxis Campaign

www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/2015/07/20/the-anaphylaxis-campaigns-views-on-the-proposed-changes-to-school-foods-standards-to-be-made-statutory-from-january-2015/

The Anaphylaxis Campaign has never promoted the banning of peanuts, nuts or other allergens, from schools, pointing out that there is a drawback to this:

First, no school could guarantee a truly peanut/nut-free environment. Allergic children might be led into a false sense of security.

Second, if you ban peanuts, what do you say to the parent who wants to exclude milk, egg, sesame, fish or fresh fruit?

Third, demands for nut-free zones may engender confrontation between parents. In such an atmosphere, the risks may actually increase.

However, there is a difference between advising against banning nuts and actively recommending them. There is absolutely no doubt that any increase in peanuts and nuts in schools will increase the dangers for allergic children

Allergy UK

www.allergyuk.org/back-to-school-campaign/faqforparents

My child has a nut allergy and our school will not ban nuts, why?

It is not possible to guarantee and enforce a nut free zone.

Staff cannot monitor all lunches and snacks brought in from home.

A free from environment creates a false sense of security and does not safely prepare children for environments where nuts may be present.

Age appropriate education and awareness is important.

The school would need to consider other children with different food allergies and it is not practical to restrict them all.

The school should have procedures in place to minimise risk of reaction via cross contamination etc.

My child is allergic to milk, the children have a carton of milk at break time in the classroom and playground. How can I keep them safe?

Make sure your child is aware not to touch the cartons.

Request the class has a milk drinking zone/area in classroom and playground to provide milk free areas.

Make sure that hands are washed after consuming the milk and all empty cartons are disposed of responsibly.

Make sure that any surfaces that have had milk stored on them are cleaned.

Have a process to make sure spilt milk is cleaned up effectively.

Discuss with the school a milk free alternative for your child so that they will still have a drink at break time(you may have to bring this in for your child).

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 16:15

infact you’ve called me a liar.

Because you are a liar, you've proven this on this thread when you.... LIED Hmm

The school could at least speak to named girl and send a noticed around explaining why it's so important.

Lelophants this is what the school has done, however they also advised OP that they cannot make the school "nut free" as in the OP opinion the school should be a "safe" zone and thats what the OP is "furious" with

This same child could have eaten peanut buuter and toast for breakfast in the school playground and had direct contcat with her child... yet eating the nut bar across the table opposite ends is the issue OP has Hmm it absurd and illogical.

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 16:17

Is your son in danger of dying if he’s in the same room as a dog? Dear god don’t you understand how anaphylaxis works. A child died when someone threw something in class he was allergic to. But hey he should have self managed.

Oh and while we are at it, DS and DD are allergic to animals fur, but the list doesn’t stop there. They just get on with it and don’t make a fuss. Strangely though they don’t just get on with it when their allergy is life threatening. They should just smile indulgently and use their epipens shouldn’t they.

Barbarella1 · 15/02/2020 16:19

Erm when did I lie. I’ve been accused of not being legally qualified. Prove I’m not. I’ve offered to provide admin with my credentials.

ddraigygoch · 15/02/2020 16:22

Any Ana reaction can cause death. And nuts are not the only allergens to do this.
Every allergen needs to be self managed.
When a teacher gave my son a box of milk I of course dealt with the school. But I also asked him why he accepted it. He was 3 and had an excellent understandingly his allergy.

He had to learn that just because it was a teacher they couldn't be trusted. He had to police everything.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 16:23

HoldMyLobster its good reading I think, its factual to the point of trying to keep children safe, and just has a common sense approach rather than putting a bad aid over something so serious.

Ok I've taken over this thread, MY apolgies its just a subject I am passionate about as its something that we deal with everyday, Im sitting here now and ds is covered in hives as for some unknown reason, sso dh is currently trying to defrost his quilt and pillow in bloody storm derek as we think its his bedding triggering him...

I'm very lucky my ds school has a common sense attitude.

HoldMyLobster · 15/02/2020 16:30

It's also interesting to me Haud as I'm in the US, and our school policies align with what those UK organisations are saying, so it seems that internationally the advice is pretty consistent.

I hope your DS is better soon. How old is he?