To think this is NOT good enough?! I am furious!!

[Peanutsaga]

NC’d So dd (8) has a nut allergy and has an epipen that she brings to school. Long story short, a girl in her class brought in a cereal type bar into school with her lunch but it had peanuts and other nuts in it as well as chocolate chips (you know the ones!)
Dd informed me that she saw said girl with the bar and then avoided her for the rest of the day and she could even smell the peanuts. I called into the school to let them know that this had happened but in short I was told, that the school had informed the parents of the no nut policy and sent it out via letter and newsletter, and that there wasn’t much else they can do as they cannot police the lunch boxes every morning. Is that it? I feel really let down and nervous about dd at school now!!

QuillBill, And what if something is part of a value pack or something, and doesn't have the ingredients on the individual portion?
Or a home-made cake? How could you tell at a glance if it has been in contact with nuts?
Or sandwiches wrapped in foil? Do you have to unwrap each pack to see if peanut butter is in there?
And what about children with dairy allergies? Or eggs? Are you going to do something similar for that?

And never underestimate people's capacity for ignoring instructions.
We said recently that our children could bring a piece of fruit as a snack on a trip we were going on. Just a simple piece of fruit. Not too much scope for misunderstanding, you would think. It was to a Hindu temple, where all animal products, including eggs, were forbidden. We "frisked" the fruit snacks as a final check and found salami snacks, a Scotch egg, chicken crisps and muffins.
Guess what? Next time, no snacks at all. No doubt we will be accused of Draconian torture methods of starvation.

My son nearly died. Mumsnet has deleted my comments.
M

Wow I'm with you OP. At our school a boy accidentally had peanut butter sandwiches so they sat him in an isolated room as nut allergy's are too serious to mess about with.

I worked in an office with two people with severe nut alleged and once I ate a cake and my colleague came over to show me something, sat at my desk and promptly came out in a massive rash. Just from sitting there, you couldn't see any evidence of what I'd eaten either. Serious penalties should be put in place. It is good that your dd is learning to adapt to her own situation but it's also good for others to note that being this selfish is also not acceptable.

Nah wood. I’ve had had my comment deleted. Your child’s life doesn’t matter

2 months ago my son stopped breathing. According to one poster on here I’m unhinged. Perhaps I should have ignored his lifeless body and made him a cup of tea.

I understand your concerns, OP. My DD's school is peanut free and latex free. Lunches can be a little harder (in Canada and PB&J is popular) than normal but not impossible. There are a lot of selfish people in the world though. I once had an argument with a cousin because his school brought in a tuna ban due to a severe allergy and the though the kid should unfairly eat in isolation.

But I do get the school's view. It's not impossible to police but it takes time. Teachers already do so much, it's not fair to have them do yet one more thing that means they don't get a real break that they need.

Your DD did well managing herself and keeping away. In a world where people don't care about allergies or understand what's in everything or forget about cross contamination, it's important for your DD to look out for risks herself.

Yes. That's exactly what posters here have put. Word for word.

I am an adult with life threatening allergies that trigger Asthma and rashes,
This Includes perfumes and perfumes in toiletries and washing powders.
I have to be careful for my own sake.
I also have serious reactions to certain chemicals. The world is full of triggers. What can we do?

Your daughter is very wise already and to be honest unless she grows out of her allergic response (some people do) she will spend her life needing to be aware.

It is best she is learning because unless you keep her close she will have to watch out. Could be a bus or train ride and someone eating Thai food or ?
I don't think the school can do more because if they do another parent will notify about another allergy and then what?
Whose allergy is the worse?

Both my dc have children in their classes with allergies. I’m grateful for reminders of which foods have to be avoided as it’s different in each class, and it’s easy enough to forget the specifics over time. One of the children is allergic to sesame which rules out multi seed bread and hummus. That’s not necessarily obvious at first glance, and I appreciate these details being pointed out. I could easily imagine sending in a cereal bar and not thinking about the fact that there are nuts in it. When it’s not your own child, it’s not necessarily at the forefront of your mind.

I can’t see why the school can’t at least issue a reminder to parents about it.

Your dd managed the situation really well. You must be very proud of her.

My son is a adult. He keeps his gob shut about his life threatening allergy because of idiots like those on here. He sees an medical expert twice a year about his problem, in fact his consultant is
Very well known globally. But ok you know better.

Who are you even replying to? You're really sounding unhinged.

This is so dangerous, the school's blasé attitude to your child's potential harm/death is disgusting.
If the brunch bar child had endangered your child's life in another way: attacked them etc the school would be jumping up and down a little more but they don't appear to see the danger here.
Contact the school nursing team as they may be able to come in and do some training with the teachers/staff.
They may also be able to suggest a letter template to send out to parents and what to do/what controls they need to implement in the future.

I would expect the school in this case to contact the parents of the child in question to remind them not to send anything with nuts in to school.

Haud is right.

The current advice from medical experts (including psychs) is that it is better to promote allergy awareness than nut bans in schools.

I do not understand the logic of nut bans when there are other food allergies. It is terrible for the children with other allergies as their allergies are perceived as not as severe. As a consequence these children do not feel like their allergies are taken seriously.

I have DCs with nut allergies and also dairy egg, shellfish, chick pea, seeds (pepitas, sesame, sunflower etc). My DCs (who attend a nut ban school) struggle to be taken seriously.

I am very involved in allergy awareness promotion and they best way to manage the risk is to promote education, awareness and peer support. My DCs consultant has liaised with their school and recommended this approach.

The lovely Head has confided in me that he is fearful of the backlash from peanut parents if he removes the peanut ban. So the peanut ban endures... while my DCs sit next to butter, egg, cheese, yoghurts, hommous every day. My DCs know that they likelihood of anaphylaxis sitting next to someone is low. However, the obsession won’t peanuts means that the awareness of other allergens is not there. They feel less safe because of the lack of awareness in their peers /in the school more generally.

If you ask my DCs themselves they would suggest no nut ban, but instead more education about allergies and how peers have a role to play in protecting their friends.

PS my DCs have had multiple anaphylaxis episodes (it is incredibly traumatic for everyone) ... and I have one DC with no food allergies.

I have a child with allergies but school is now becoming ridiculous in terms of what they are allowed to taken in
Currently no-
Nuts
Tree nuts
Hoummus
Sesame
And randomly- raspberries

Also due to health so chocolate, jam (sandwiches) sweets (but they can give out bags for birthdays WTF)

Now think of a standard packed lunch. If you have a child allergic to dairy that leaves little they can take in to eat and school dinners are HIGH risk for cross contamination, so what do you do?

Also, while I’m ranting ...one of my DC went on a school camp last year. He was given food he couldn’t have three times. Despite his epipen and anaphylaxis documentation the camp catering providers didn’t take it seriously. For my DS, I can see why he feels like the nut kids are treated like snowflakes. And he feels can’t trust adults to provide him safe food.

This year his class has a peanut allergy student and she asked the teacher for permission to carry a mobile phone with her in class (in case someone disobeys the peanut ban and she has a reaction)! The teacher said yes. He was disgusted! Note, mobile phones are not allowed at them school in school hours unless you have an exemption.

I’d be more understanding if the phone exemption was to help her with anxiety etc. But she asked in front of the class and the teacher agreed straight away.

My DS has nut as well as other food allergies. He thinks this girl is overly hysterical about her true risk of anaphylaxis. He’s had two full anaphylaxis episodes in the last twelve months....

Winging The answer is to not ban anything!

Instead, promote allergy awareness (look after your peers, wash your hands etc). I know it’s more work for already overstretched teachers than a ‘nut ban’ ...but is in the interests of all children.

The clinicians all agree that this is the best approach. There is no rationale argument against this approach....our poor Head agrees with me, but says he can’t cope with the peanut parent backlash.

Did I mention my DCs have nut AND other allergies!

Thanks @CallmeAngelina and @HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

I appreciate that, I personally don’t feel schools should be policing food choices at all, just a pondering.

Barberella, the comment you had deleted by MN was nothing to do with your child or his allergies.

MN did not delete your comment because your experience does not matter and it did not delete your comment because your son does not matter.

I know as I reported it and as such have the comment in full in my emails as when you report something to MN they email you about it.

Your comment was a personal attack on another poster. That's why is was deleted. Due to the fact it was abhorrent.

Barbarella do you think schools should ban dairy? My DD is anaphylactic to dairy in the same way yours is allergic to nuts. If you've ever sent your child in with a cheese sandwich or a yoghurt then you are putting kids like my DD in just as much risk as your child is when parents send in a peanut butter sandwich (more in fact, think of a 4yo eating yoghurt and how far that'll get smeared). So is your child's life worth more than mine? I'll never get why peanuts get such special treatment compared to other allergies. Anaphylaxis doesn't care what substance you are allergic to, it'll kill you regardless...

When my dd was diagnosed with her anaphylaxis to peanuts age four, the specialist said that peanuts was at least taken seriously as an allergy. And that people understood that it was life threatening.

Her son, was anaphylactic to dairy and had had an anaphylaxis when a baby at his nursery had thrown up on him.

My nephew is anaphylactic to peas. A legume closely related to peanuts but people don't believe him and think he just doesn't want to eat his vegetables.

Barbarella1**

The comment deleted was you telling me, word for word Haud your really don’t care about your child then

Your deleted commented had absolutely nothing to do with your child’s allergies, so please stop with the woe is me posts! Your embarrassing yourself.

Your deleted comment aimed at myself was deleted because you were rude and offensive.

At no point in any single of these posts has anyone advised allergies are not life threatening and not a single poster has advised anyone to not seek immediate medical help when someone is in anaphylaxis, your posts are intangible.

Why do people treat nut allergies as somehow "special" allergies when others are just as serious?

Why do people keep on about "nut free" schools when other allergies are just as serious and Allergy U.K don't recommend bans anyway?

All schools do promote nut free snacks and lunches. If we see any nut products or any children report seeing nut products we take them away and return at the end of the day.

It is not feasible for teachers or lunch supervisors to check every single child's lunch box prior to them eating it - anyone suggesting this has never set foot into a primary school at lunchtime.

I empathise with you, it must be very scary to be in your situation. However, there is an onus on your daughter to make sure and report things, she is the one on alert for nut based products. All schools can do it promote nut free produce and intervene if they see any.

What do you do in cinemas? In restaurants that also offer dishes with nuts? Airlines can only make a plea that people don't eat nuts, they can't enforce it. So yes, YABU to be furious.