To think this is NOT good enough?! I am furious!!

[Peanutsaga]

NC’d So dd (8) has a nut allergy and has an epipen that she brings to school. Long story short, a girl in her class brought in a cereal type bar into school with her lunch but it had peanuts and other nuts in it as well as chocolate chips (you know the ones!)
Dd informed me that she saw said girl with the bar and then avoided her for the rest of the day and she could even smell the peanuts. I called into the school to let them know that this had happened but in short I was told, that the school had informed the parents of the no nut policy and sent it out via letter and newsletter, and that there wasn’t much else they can do as they cannot police the lunch boxes every morning. Is that it? I feel really let down and nervous about dd at school now!!

I kind of get the school's point but I don't think they have handled reassuring you very well. Your daughter is fine, and took measures herself to avoid a potentially life threatening situation, so she is a capable young lady.

How do you manage DD going out and about in everyday life? The cashier at the till may have had peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, they bus driver might have had a trail bar in his few minutes break. You can't police everyone's food, but you can teach your daughter how to handle herself, which she has done in this situation.

I would have expected your daughter to alert a teacher and for the teacher to ensure hands and face of the other girl were well washed after eating it to avoid cross contamination of other things if your dd has a contact allergy rather than 'just' a consumption allergy.

Rather than a policy of avoidance I think you would be better asking the school to operate a management policy. IE we would prefer if nuts were not Brought into school but then have a policy they can refer to if they are.

Unfortunately I think they are right. They cannot search every child every day just in case they are carrying nuts. If your DD’s allergy is that serious, she could have a reaction if someone ate nuts for breakfast and didn’t brush their teeth.

How serious is her allergy?

Given you know which child it was I would expect the school to contact that parent.

Honest mistakes get made so it's just an awareness (not finger pointing)

Yes I understand the daily risks when out and about, I know it’s all beyond my control. I just feel like I thought the school was a more “safe” zone but...apparently not!! The teacher was having her lunch so didn’t have a clue until I told her. Dd isn’t one for wanting to make a scene.

Could you approach the parents and politely explain?

It must be horrible knowing your child has a life threatening allergy and having to send her off everyday somewhere on the trust that she'll be safe.

I'm really not sure that the school can do anything else except send out a strongly worded reminder that parents are putting a pupils life at risk by sending in food containing nuts. Could you ask them to do this?

Your daughter sounds very capable and sensible at such a young age. Good for her.

Unfortunately you will get children who for their own reasons might only eat a peanut butter sandwich so I think (as the auntie to a niece with multiple anaphylactic allergies), the best way really is to ground your daughter in what action she should take, which she did tbh. So rest assured you are doing a great job in keeping your daughter as safe as you possibly can in an environment where you are not present.

They don't have to search lunch boxes but the kids eat their lunch together with lunchtime supervisors. It would not be a hard job for the supervisors to keep an eye out for obviously banned foods if they know they have allergy sufferers.
On occasions when kids in DDs class have forgotten and brought in something containing nuts they usually have it taken off them and given back at the end of the day. I don't know why they can manage but your DDs school can't.

I think you need a more realistic view of the risks at school, really. I eat nuts all the time and they are an important part of my nutrition. I obviously wouldn’t take them into school if there was someone with an allergy, but there could well be residue on my clothes. There will be people coming on site at school all the time who may have just eaten nuts, or may not know about the policy (tradespeople and such). Some people get confused between nuts and seeds and so on, or don’t check the ingredients in things as thoroughly as they should.

The problem is that when ou don’t have allergies you don’t know what’s in what really. I didn’t realise how much stuff had gluten in til I got diagnosed with coeliacs!
The school could maybe make more of an effort to educate the children? I reckon that’s what our school would do, can you suggest that? So if mum hands the girl a bar she can say ‘oh mum, I can’t take this because kate has a nut allergy’

YANBU this is life threatening. They need to tell the parents of the girl who brought in the bar that they can't do it again and they need to send out a strongly worded letter again stressing that there is a child with a life threatening allergy.

she could smell the peanuts? so she was sat next to her, then she moved away?

It’s serious enough, yes if she was to come in contact with someone who had eaten peanuts there’s a strong possibly of a reaction ( not anaphylaxis though on secondary contact/skin contact per se) but let’s say she had a boyfriend when she was older and they kissed then she would.

I really do understand why you are so annoyed, I would be too, and it is a frightening position for your daughter.

But I also think that the school are probably a bit stuck, because all they can do is communicate with parents and hope that they are sensible enough/considerate enough to stick to the guidance. And unfortunately there are always going to be parents who react to guidance with 'no one else is telling me what to do...'

What a nightmare situation.

Of course the teacher was having her lunch! Are you suggesting that she should not have a lunch break at all and watch your daughter?

Unbelievable.

As a mother of a dd with nut allergy. I understand your anger but at secondary there are no real rules in place so it's great now she is learning for herself how to keep herself safe. This will be crucial in her later life if she is to enjoy normal trips and holidays. I've just waved my dd off on a week away with school and I hope she is now sensible enough to check and double check. I'm still nervous tho.

It's a tricky one but in this case the school can not do more than send more letters out. At my dds primary they made posters to put up about school the children designed them so they themselves were aware of it.

I would ask the school to send out a letter reminding people of the seriousness of a nut allergy and its likely consequences. I think that’s as much as they can reasonably do, as well as keep an eye out for anything that obviously breaks the rules.

And it is hard aswell, I worked with a lad with a peanut allergy and ate peanuts. He was so nice about it but I cried. I neverrrr cry. I just totally forgot. I’ve never felt so bad in all my life. He was so lovely. So I do agree it’s definitely good that your daughter knows how to look after herself

Op people are quite selfish I find.
There's a child at my sons nursery that has a severe coconut allergy. We used to all use coconut oil as a moisturiser (DS included). As soon as the nursery informed us about said child we threw it away and never bought it again. Even ds having residue on his clothes etc could have been risky so it was better to get rid.
I couldn't live with myself knowing that my actions (or inaction) made a child ill or worse.

She could smell it but didn't have a reaction. That's good, seeing as the more serious versions even a small causes a reaction. I'm not sure what else the school can do - confiscate the child's food? Make sure your daughter is segregated? If she could smell it but doesn't react, they seem to have taken the right course of action for now. Children might have had nutella for breakfast for example - you say if they came into contact they could have a reaction. Again, if the allergy is that severe then surely you just wouldn't send her to school at all. If it's not that severe, what else would you like the school to do?

I totally get you. My daughter has a severe nut allergy among a few others and school has had to have epi pen training etc. I quickly realised there's absolutely no way school can ensure her safety at meal times simply because they can't police every bit of food coming into school in lunch boxes. It's a nut free school and there's a couple of other children with food allergies but other parents don't really care and still send in foods containing nuts.

It was simply safer for my child to come home for dinner which was fine as I was a sahm at the time and lived very close to school. Now she's older and I'm back at work she eats her lunch with the other allergic children separately and supervised by a dinner lady who's also epi pen trained. Maybe this is something that could be implemented in your child's school? X

@LoveNote they were on the same table, they sit across from each other but on opposite sides of the table see silly pic- blue is DD and red is girl with bar.

I am afraid that you are being unreasonable to assume that other parents/children will take the same level of care to ensure there are no peanuts in anything. They are in so many things these days!

I agree with others that the only thing you can do is teach your DD to be super vigilant herself which it sounds like you have. Is PB one of the allergies that children grow out of sometimes? Hopefully so.