To think this is NOT good enough?! I am furious!!

[Peanutsaga]

NC’d So dd (8) has a nut allergy and has an epipen that she brings to school. Long story short, a girl in her class brought in a cereal type bar into school with her lunch but it had peanuts and other nuts in it as well as chocolate chips (you know the ones!)
Dd informed me that she saw said girl with the bar and then avoided her for the rest of the day and she could even smell the peanuts. I called into the school to let them know that this had happened but in short I was told, that the school had informed the parents of the no nut policy and sent it out via letter and newsletter, and that there wasn’t much else they can do as they cannot police the lunch boxes every morning. Is that it? I feel really let down and nervous about dd at school now!!

The school could at least send out a reminder. People have a lot going on in their lives, maybe they forgot. They should frame it that items containing nuts would be confiscated, that would get more attention than being asked to be mindful of another child's health (sad but true).

Sending out letters is great if the parents can read them.
A lot of schools still send stuff home in English when they know English isn’t the first language. Or even if the parent can read at all.

How do they expect the 5 year old who is learning to read themselves, explain to their parents?

Could understand it years ago. But with the software available now, it’s insane. And they talk about inclusion 🤣

I had to stop reading the comments when I read that apparently your child shouldn’t even be in school if her allergy is that serious. FFS.
My child has severe allergies. She sits on a table at lunch with the teachers, which she and I both hate but is necessary. They do check lunch boxes at her school after she had a reaction when another child starting sharing an item (won’t say what as it’s outing). DD didn’t have any, but she has airborne and touch reactions as well as from ingestion.
There is a sign outside her class room reminding people about allergies and the fact nuts can be present in lip balms, moisturisers etc.
It’s mentioned in every news letter.
People still don’t check for things like almond milk or macadamia oil.
Despite this I won’t keep her at home. That isn’t the right thing for her. She loves school.
She is extremely well educated about her allergies. Her close friends are too and she is reception year.
I wouldn’t wish the constant anxiety and stress that I feel on anyone, but I do wish people would be more considerate and better educated.

A child at our school has a severe reaction to a particular food/liquid and they have their lunch slightly earlier and take a friend, as the slightest trace of it having been in the table triggers them off.
Perhaps that's an option to discuss

We send every letter out via a system that can automatically translate the contents into a wide range of languages, it's pretty common these days!

Agree with pp.
I think the safest option would be to ask for DD to have her lunch a little earlier/later.
Yes, it's segregating your DD to some extent but you can't really expect all parents to follow this rule properly (some may forget, others may be ignorant of what foods contain nuts)

all the school can do is ask parents. which must be both frustrating and scary for you.

if they see or are informed of a child with nuts, I dont think it is unreasonable to ask them to reissue the request to all parents, or remind the one parent.

it is unrealistic to expect them to police lunchboxes, or expect school to be a safe zone.

sounds like your dd has been really smart and dealt with it and she needs to continue to be really aware everywhere she goes.

she can never think of school as a safe place even with a request to parents not to send in nut products. one of ds's primary school friends has a nut allergy. she had several reactions while in primary and has been blue lighted to hospital on several occasions.

when your dd reaches secondary the school will not ask pupils or parents to avoid nut products for her allergy.

OP I see there are some knowledgeable posters on here but have you tried discussing this with the Allergy UK helpline? They come across this every day so they will be able to advise you, its not really going to help talking to other posters who don't know much about allergy - although I've found it helpful to understand the level of ignorance you can come across!

You say she won't have an anaphylaxis reaction by touching someone who ate peanuts so don't over dramatise the situation and make your child afraid of going to school.*

Agree 100% your daughter handled the situation herself.

Ah, schools! my son has had his two worst reactions at school, and before anybody peeps up with "he should have checked, be responsible for his safety blah blah" he is, both times he checked with a teacher that he could eat the cake (one time) and cupcake (the second time) that had been brought into his "nut free" school by parents (aware of the policy) to sell to children for fundraising, so OBVIOUSLY to be shared, they couldn't even police that, let alone everyday lunch boxes.

Mistakes can be made, of course, we are all human, But what I think is horrendous is the attitude that some people have to allergies, sometimes, that they are not really that serious, are a fad, are attention seeking (see this thread!) or simply that their food preferences or their kids' food preferences should take precedence over somebody's life (oh but little Jonny really loves his peanut butter!).

Remember that case of the man who ate peanuts on a plane (a plane!) after staff alerted all passengers to please not do so because of a little girl with a life threatening nut allergy, no, the guy just HAD to have his little bag of peanuts right then, who cares if a little girl dies. I discussed this case on here before and somebody told me "well, the girl should just have not travelled", so that is fairer than the bloody entitled adult idiot forgoing peanuts for a few hours? who thinks their eating peanuts during a flight is more important than a little girl's life? unbelievable!

OP, I understand your anger, but no, you can't treat school as safe, in fact, it is my greatest worry! My son now does not eat anything there ever that he hasn't brought in himself and his friends are extraordinary in looking out for him, better than the adults frankly.

youareacuntychops you are just lovely, and your post brought tears to my eyes, I bet your kid will grow up to be the kind of friend my DS thankfully has, thoughtful, responsible and empathic, thanks! and I love coconut oil as moisturiser, too, so I appreciate the sacrifice!

This reminds me of the time we caught a flight. Our friend has a peanut allergy so informed them. They announced no peanuts could be sold. A passenger sitting nearby, was eating a large bag of peanuts (these were purchased beforehand). Upon complaint, the air stewardess said there was nothing they can do. I think your daughter sounds very sensible. Watching out and keeping away from those who are eating peanuts. Probably something she will always have to do.

Forgot to say:

YABU

You should be proud that your dd handled this well as this is an important life skill she'll need for her future.

You can't just go through life wrapping her in cotton wool, so the earlier she learns to be self aware and risk assess the better.

My son now does not eat anything there ever that he hasn't brought in himself

The only way to keep him safe. A child with a severe allergy eating other people’s homemade cakes is seriously at risk.

I would be surprised to find a primary school which doesn;t have a nut-free policy. My kids' school had a ban on peanuts and other nuts on place when DS started 12 years ago and since then they've extended the ban to coconut and houmous (assume a sesame allergy?)

But nobody is policing the lunchboxes. School is relying on the goodwill of parents, who are by and large cooperative. But as the parent of a child who doesn't have a nut allergy the whole thing is very complicated. Obviously I'm not going to send in DS with a peanut butter sandwich. But a massive number of products "may contain traces of nuts". I think it's unreasonable to ask parents to go to those lengths to ensure an absolutely, 100% nut-free lunch.

And at secondary it's an absolute free for all.

I once accidentally bought bars with nuts and didn't notice until the dds had gone to school. I phoned immediately and let the school know to remove them. Mistakes do hsppen. If the school communicates the severity of the allergy parents will usually step up.

These days kids are allergic to lots of things, seeds nuts. Many are gluten intolerant. Many are lactose intolerant. That's unfortunate, but you can't expect all the other children to stop eating grains, nuts, products that could have touched nuts during their manufacturing, milk and products containing flour

I would be surprised to find a primary school which doesn;t have a nut-free policy. neither of the primaries my DS attended did.

I don't think there's a huge amount you can do about this. Peanuts are on your radar 24/7 because they have to be, but that's not the case for other parents.

So, the school can send out letters, and parents most likely wouldn't send packets of nuts in with their children - but that doesn't mean they'll always check every single item of food, because it's not their main worry like it is yours.

Your daughter knows to stay away from this girl, and knows what to do if she has a nut.

Sadly, in later life, such as high school, college, uni, and eventually the workplace, there's just no way to police what people eat, so it is very important that she is on the ball with knowing what to do.

My brother has a life threatening allergy, and a tuck shop at a hobby we both did as children stopped buying Snickers bars - which we were so grateful for. A girl said she didn't think it was fair that she couldn't have one just because ONE person was allergic .. and that's just what people think I'm afraid. Even though there are so many other things you could have which wouldn't kill one of the children. I remember thinking at the time (and I was only young myself) that if she couldn't got for 90 minutes on a Saturday morning without a Snickers, there's something seriously wrong with her.

OP I think the school should do more and know better! My son’s school had an incident last year with an ambulance being called in after a child suffered a severe reaction after having contact with another child who it turns out had eaten something that caused a serious reaction to the said child. (Nuts)
The children that suffer allergic reactions need to be protected during the school hours and the schools all have a duty of care. I suggest they make it policy that any parent that sends their child with any of the listed allergens will be expelled from the school. This might be the only way to save compromised children and raise an awareness. If the school had an allergy related fatality they would put in extreme measures so why wait for that to happen?
I would be having strong words with the school Head almost immediately and if not satisfied with the outcome go further and involve your local news station about your worries and go on and speak to your local MP. The school has a duty of care for your DD. It’s a good thing she’s well aware of risks involved but sorry to say not all kids are.

I get your upset but yabu in expecting the school to police every single lunchbox. The only way the school can be a safe zone is if every single parent is as aware as you are.
And tbh to a parent that doesnt have a child/themselves with an allergy issue, they are not scrutinizing ingredients.

Pp mentioned children that only eat certain foods. My ds was one of those kids. He stopped eating completely and was put into food therapy, OT because of the sensory issues he has. The only thing he ate was bread, and peanut butter. And that is what school said I need to send in.

The best thing you can hope for is your dd being very aware. And it looks like she is doing well. You cannot control this, and as much as you think school is a safe place it isnt. Just like every other place and person you encounter.

I understand why you're concerned but it's probably best to view it as an opportunity to teach DD what to do if happens again eg tell a teacher or lunchtime supervisor straight away.
We have allergies at home and there are nut allergies at school but I still almost put something with nuts in it into DS' bag one day. Luckily, he realised. I felt awful. I know how diligent we need to be with the allergies we have. I still have no idea how I forgot that morning. My point is that with the best will in the world, your DD might still be exposed so it's best to work on what she should do next.

Have you ever been in a primary school dinner hall? It’s total chaos!

Yes I often help out at DDs school. The lunchtime supervisors can and do remove food from children it it contains nuts or if it's a main part of meal like a peanut butter sandwich they would move the child to a table away from the kids with allergies.

schools allergy policy should be based on the children they have. If no pupil has a nut allergy there is no need to have one

I have to say I think the schools response is appalling they should at the very least reiterating it

many years ago my childrens school sent a letter home infoming us that a child with a severe nut allergy would be starting after the summer break, we were told our children coundn't have anything in their lunch boxes that either contained nuts or anything that had "made in a factory that uses nuts.They also informed the children were not allowed to have anything for breakfast at home that may have contained nuts and in fact as we all lived beside each other on a Military base that we shouldnt have anything in our homes that may contain nuts ! We were also told we would need to sign a form saying we would never use anything that contained nut'
100% of parents told the scool to fuck off. If a child has such a severe allergy they needed to be kept in isolation in a home on one the many empty Scottish islands and never ever have contact with the outside world.
I have every sympathy with people that have an allergy ( my Husband does) but the whole world cant change

There is a child in my daughters school that has a peanut allergy. We are told no nuts in snack or lunch boxes. But is my daughter allowed peanut butter on her toast for breakfast? Does the ban include marzipan? Coconut? Products that state 'may contain nuts'. We don't know what form this child's allergy takes. I feel uncomfortable having personal responsibility for this child's allergy, and I'm sure there are parents out there who don't care/don't know/don't understand. It cannot be considered a safe environment.