To think this is NOT good enough?! I am furious!!

[Peanutsaga]

NC’d So dd (8) has a nut allergy and has an epipen that she brings to school. Long story short, a girl in her class brought in a cereal type bar into school with her lunch but it had peanuts and other nuts in it as well as chocolate chips (you know the ones!)
Dd informed me that she saw said girl with the bar and then avoided her for the rest of the day and she could even smell the peanuts. I called into the school to let them know that this had happened but in short I was told, that the school had informed the parents of the no nut policy and sent it out via letter and newsletter, and that there wasn’t much else they can do as they cannot police the lunch boxes every morning. Is that it? I feel really let down and nervous about dd at school now!!

I understand the school can't check every child every day but I'd have thought a note home to that child's parents would have been possible.

I wouldn't expect the teacher to be able to check each lunch box (or the school to take responsibility for each child's lunchbox) however....once OP had drawn it to her attention, I would expect her to say she'd have a polite word with the child's parents, or send out some information to all the parents.

I'm a bit clueless to what products contain nuts, if I'd inadvertently put another child at risk by putting the wrong item in my child's lunch I'd want to be told and I'd ensure it never happened again.

So I find the teachers attitude a bit unhelpful, did you go in on the attack OP? Sometimes the response to receive is a reaction to the way you have tackled an issue - the school doesn't seem to want to 'work with you' on this. Are you sure you aren't 'that' parent?

do schools ban nut products in lunch boxes?

Some do, some don’t. It’s becoming more common these days not to since the advice changed and advised against schools becoming ‘nut free’.

I volunteer in a nut free primary school, ny friend's son's peanut allergy kicks off if he is in the same room as an open bag of nuts. As staff we make sure that biscuits or chocolate brought in does not contain nuts, very easy, the ingredient lists bolds out allegens.

In school we would remove the item ie a Nutella bar and return it to the child at the end of the day. Once again we would remind parents in the newsletter of items that contain nuts, mentioning the offending item brought in, in case the name NUTella isn't obvious enough. And yes, that actually happened this term.

And of course there is no nut free secondary school because by the age of 11 a child should be able to recognise when they feel unwell. Young primary school children of 4 or 5 sometimes cannot tell you this. Hence why we have had children faint or just throw up all over a table or over class mates.

Admittedly they cannot police all lunch boxes but they can be proactive in removing the item.

I get you too.

I think that the school had w responsibility to notice and to make sure the girl was told her cereal bar wasn’t okay, and a letter sent home to that parent.

They didn’t do any of those things and I would be upset.

All the official advice is against nut bans precisely because of this. There is no such thing as a safe zone. Banning leads to complacency whereas adults and children need to be vigilant and take appropriate action just as your daughter did.

I thought this too.

YANBU of course the school should do more. Imagine if a child brought in alcohol for their snack, do you think the school would shrug and say "oh well alcohol is available off site anyway and we've told them not to". No. They'd be much more proactive about preventing it. Nuts are life threatening for you DD and at 8 she is too young to be able to avoid these situations (and she doesn't have the option of simply leaving the school as she would in public).

Lots of people are stupid and ignorant. They don't distinguish between an allergy which could cause a rash and one which could lead to death. Some people are also selfish and think because their precious child is a fussy eater that takes precedence over another child's health.

The school need to approach the specific parent and ensure it doesn't happen again as well as sending very strongly worded notifications to all parents to make sure they know that it's a serious issue.

Yes I have actually! I used to be a teacher and have done lunch time supervision plenty of times. I managed to do this no problem, even in a chaotic dinner hall. You get to know which cereal bars etc contain nuts so some of them you can spot at a glance, peanut butter, Nutella sandwiches, etc. you can see from a mile away because you can see the filing as they're biting in to it (those are the most common offenders too)... I would also walk around and chat to the children to ask what lovely things they had for lunch today and we had a policy of keeping lunch boxes open while everyone was eating, so again I could glance in and make sure everyone had a healthy lunch. Of course there would be times when you wouldn't know specific ingredients in a piece of cake or whatever and there's not much you can do about that but it's about being as vigilant as you reasonably can. Taking the steps I did at lunchtimes I wouldn't think are unreasonable for anyone!

And why can’t the school check the lunchboxes of anyone in her class?

It’s important. It’s a health and safety concern so it would need checking. What if she’d shared her cereal bar?

TBH I think they could have managed it better really.This is a potentially life threatening situation ,and the lunchtime Supervisors cant check for peanuts and son on ,but apparently can check out too much chocolate/unhealthy foods ? My friends son has this and even though he is older now ,she checked with their hotel when staying in France the menus ! I would have a meeting with the head and say what you have said to us .You are not making a fuss ,just keeping your child safe FFS!

Because they've got enough to do.

Schools can not guarantee a nut free environment-it is simply impossible to monitor.

Your daughter sounds sensible and is taking responsibility for her allergies which is great-as she will have to do through her whole life-workplace/shopping centres/hotels etc.

Even allergy.uk are explicit on this.

What if she’d shared her cereal bar?

The daughter knows not to share food. That wasn’t where the risk came from here.

Official advice i.e. anaphylaxis campaign etc is that nut products should not be banned as children then grow up with a false sense of security around foods which may contain nuts.

People say that by y7 a child should be aware of the risks but in truth if they’ve never had to be then they don’t take these things as seriously.

My DS has a child in his class who has an anaphylactic nut allergy and carries an EpiPen. His friends and others around him are aware of the allergy and don’t take any risks as precaution. If he comes round here then I am Uber cautious but in y7 he came here and picked up a bag of chocolate m&m’s and asked if they contained nuts. I said he really should check the packet to which he responded “oh it’s ok, I’ve got an EpiPen.”

Fact is that children never actively having to think about these things for themselves will grow up complacent. This particular child was blue-lighted to hospital three times in y7. He’s more aware now but I dare say that if children didn’t grow up in such protected environments then these instances might happen less.

i do understand the concern as a parent though, but in truth she is aware and that’s what counts.

It sounds as if you are doing a great job making your DD aware and able to deal with potentially dangerous situations.
Parents can be both ignorant and/or wilfully indifferent to the needs of any other child that’s not a relation, your daughter’s next best defence after her own awareness is to make her friends and peers aware. Then most of them will self-police and remind parents. The majority of primary children are very good at inclusion, given an explanation. I also found a lot of teens and young adults very willing to be adaptable and protective of friends who needed it. If they know.

' only return her once the classroom has been thoroughly cleaned (even if that's the next day)

This is a ridiculous suggestion and OP has no right to demand this at all'

Do you really not understand that people can DIE just from being in the same room as someone who has just eaten nuts? So of your child was affected like this you'd really just leave them in a room knowing that he could have a reaction and die any minute? Don't be so ridiculous.

For everyone's benefit some of you need to go read up on this too educate yourselves. As a teacher I had to attend training on it. Just a couple of weeks before a child died in another local school and we all learned the hard way that this is something you take seriously!

Wow some people are being cruel. Of course YANBU; your daughter acted sensibly but the school should follow up their letter with another and speak directly to the parents who provided the nut bar, and do an assembly or classes, too. Obviously, both at school, and on here, some people just can’t grasp how serious a nut allergy is. It’s not people being fussy or needy. I can’t imagine thinking my own child’s nut needs were more important than the health - or even survival - of another. What is wrong with the world?!

Because A) it’s much safer for the OP’s DD to maintain her own vigilance, as she did here, than it is for her to think there can’t possibly be nuts in her mate’s bread and have a bite of a sandwich from a walnut-encrusted loaf and go into shock. B) It isn’t practical for staff to spend time opening every child’s wrap, sandwich or pasta bowl, combing through it to check for nuts C) I wouldn’t want people to have their hands all over my daughter’s lunch checking for nuts. D) That could be an even more effective (and lethal) way of spreading nuts about the school canteen.

(I don’t mind them looking at what she has in front of her, but I draw the line at people examining her sandwiches. She’s a person, too.)

Parents can be both ignorant and/or wilfully indifferent to the needs of any other child that’s not a relation, your daughter’s next best defence after her own awareness is to make her friends and peers aware. Then most of them will self-police and remind parents. The majority of primary children are very good at inclusion, given an explanation. I also found a lot of teens and young adults very willing to be adaptable and protective of friends who needed it. If they know.

Absolutely this 100%. I think this thread is proof enough that most people just don't have enough understanding. You really need to make sure your daughter is confident about speaking up about it though.

The most dangerous schools are the ones that call themselves nut free. There is no such thing, it's impossible to say this. The safest schools are those that promise to do all they reasonably can to avoid contact, risk assess and monitor the student and ensure additional risk assessments are included for trips, non routine activities and evacuation. Most parents of potentially fatal suffers would know that and would have already have ensured these steps were in place. I suggest you look at allergy UK and look at the schools or LA HSE policy and arrangements.

And why can’t the school check the lunchboxes of anyone in her class?

Because it's totally impossible to guarantee a nut-free environment like that. And why just one class? In lots of schools, all year groups mix together in the lunch hall.

If someone has homemade cake, it may have nuts in and you won't know about it. The DC might not know about it either. Teachers just don't have the time to check every single item in every single lunch box. If a DC has brought in everything homemade, do they say "sorry, you can't have any of this as it might have nuts in?".

I thought the modern-day advice was that nut-free schools were unrealistic because it's something impossible to ensure anyway.

I think this ones tricky - we have a nut free school, and I remember one day realising in the car that I'd put in DS2's lunch some chocolate covered peanut snacks for treat day (like wotsits, but peanut flavoured). So I removed them and gave him an emergency penguin.

But at the same time it occurred to me that DS1 quite often has peanut butter on toast for breakfast - and it's not beyond the realms of possibility that there's some remnants left on him somewhere - and you really can't start telling parents what their kids can have for breakfast!

So I think that yes, it's reasonable to tell parents not to have peanuts, but also you definitely can't rely on it, it's a risk reduction, not a risk removal.

No I didn’t go in on the attack, my daughter gets her lack of ‘wanting to make a scene’ from me 🤣🤣 I was upset and concerned... I’m furious at home now (but I’m a quiet furious)

Do you really not understand that people can DIE just from being in the same room as someone who has just eaten nuts?

Those people need their parents to rethink the school environment. The risk cannot be eliminated.

@HmmIsThisAGoodIdea as a person who suffers from anaphylaxis allergy and mother to three children with allergies I feel I have good authority to give an opinion on this.

So piss off with the educate yourself.

There isn't a place on this earth where OPs DD is 'safe' the school is not able to make it perfectly safe. That's up to Op.

She either does what she can and releases her child into the world or home educates.

I would be very pissed if an already stripped school budget was being bitten into to deep clean a room because of an allergy.