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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you drank alcohol during pregnancy

479 replies

Butterflyflower1234 · 14/02/2020 08:52

I'm curious as to people thoughts on alcohol during pregnancy?

I was always of the opinion that I wouldn't touch a single drop of alcohol during pregnancy but now I'm wondering would it be significantly harmful to have say one small glass of wine with dinner every so often (less than once a fortnight).

OP posts:

Elsielouise13 · 15/02/2020 09:17

After several rounds of IVF and multiple miscarries. Not a drop. No alcohol could ever taste as good as a holding a healthy baby. Not judging. Just saying.

MintImperials · 15/02/2020 09:19

Tiny amount, glass of fizz at a wedding that I drank half off. Half a glass of wine or half beer maybe 2 other times. I just wasn’t fussed to drink.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/02/2020 09:23

I don’t get all this crap, did you get in the car when pregnant? as someone already said, yes it was essential to get about. Especially for me as I suffered SPD. Drinking and eating things I been advised not to is not the same, ridiculous argument.
People take risk everyday but risks that are easy to eliminate or reduce like drinking, eating and how much medication to take is a risk assessment that I get to decide. I will always have the best interest of my Dc at the forefront of all my actions.

People can do what they want with their own bodies I’m not fussed, but giving up drink and other things that are easy is to eliminate (unless you have a problem) is not a hard choice for me.

MarchDaffs · 15/02/2020 09:29

The reason for the questions about the car is because travelling in a car would be a risk too. Some car travel is often essential, but people talking about how any alcohol consumption is a risk usually duck the question when asked if they did any inessential car travel too. That is, took avoidable risks. Because nearly everyone does, I certainly did. And people who are on their high horses about other women's alcohol consumption don't tend to like facing the reality that they took other avoidable risks in pregnancy, much less having the double standard pointed out by others.

SusanneLinder · 15/02/2020 09:31

No I didn't, but with my first I didn't know I was pregnant and threw up after a night out, so didn't drink after that. Didn't drink at all with subsequent pregnancies, but I got married when I was pregnant with no 3, so did have a glass of champagne on my wedding day. That was it.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/02/2020 09:43

But one is a unknown risk (car) and usually benefits the baby ie a walk or buying essentials Items for when born. The other (drinking) is a know risk with no benefit to the baby so it’s not the same.

CatteStreet · 15/02/2020 09:44

What I am noticing again and again in the posts by people who chose not to drink is comments such as 'because I put my children first', 'because nothing is more important to me than my children' and above 'because no alcohol tastes as good as holding a healthy baby [feels]' (and I do appreciate that poster's experience, having had many miscarriages myself). The implication is clearly that those of us who made different decisions just don't care as much about their children. It's an offensive one, quite frankly. I've said several times on this thread and others like it that the one-drink-a-week sort of level felt like too much to me. Would I then go round saying to everyone who drank at this level that I am clearly a better mother than them? No.

StoneofDestiny · 15/02/2020 09:46

Did you ever get in a car for any other reason than to go to work?

Geez - never been that desperate to drink I would do it while pregnant.
Yes - I even crossed busy roads, took escalators, worked in a high stress environment and walked in crowds of people who might spread germs. That’s normal - drinking alcohol while pregnant does not pass as normal or responsible to me. I could do without it for the sake of my unborn child.

My view - you might take a different view.

MarchDaffs · 15/02/2020 09:51

Ivalue you have absolutely no idea whether most inessential car journeys taken by pregnant women are to buy things for the baby. And by 'walk' do you mean driving somewhere to go for a walk when you get there? Cos if you're in a car you're not walking! But either way, this is a claim you can't possibly back up. I mean where would you even start to get the data for that?

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/02/2020 09:54

I’m not saying I’m a better parent at all. I’m just stating that I risk assess differently.

Everyone has the right to assess what risks they think are worth taking and act on it. I’m not judging we’re all different.

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 10:00

Yes - I even crossed busy roads, took escalators, worked in a high stress environment and walked in crowds of people who might spread germs.

So you took risks. More significant risks than a very occasional drink.

Which is absolutely fine because we can’t eliminate all risk. All we can do is manage it safely and sensibly.

But if you come charging on saying you took no risks, you need to be prepared to have your inconsistencies pointed out to you.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 15/02/2020 10:02

Was just giving some examples but the point is the car is a unknown risk that is usually used to get somewhere you can not by walking. The drinking is a know risk that is used because you fancy a drink.

Weffiepops · 15/02/2020 10:02

I think the occasional glass is ok, but just one glass per day and with a good few days till the next drink. I would maybe put a bit of white or rose wine in a wine glass then top up with lemonade

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 10:04

The drinking is a know risk that is used because you fancy a drink.

There is absolutely no evidence that a very occasional drink does any harm.

MarchDaffs · 15/02/2020 10:06

You have no idea whether the car is usually used to get somewhere you can't by not walking and even if it is, this doesn't mean the travel is essential. Two different things.

Regarding the alcohol, even if we assume that consumption of a level that has never been shown to be associated with any negatives at all is a risk, why would a risk incurred because you fancy a drink be different and less acceptable than a risk incurred because you felt like going somewhere in a car?

bingbangbing · 15/02/2020 10:06

The car analogy only works if the car crashes every time.

It's not offensive to state sensible medical advice as given by the majority of the medical profession.

Drinking, smoking and any harmful or unnecessary drugs during pregnancy is irresponsible.

Alcohol does cause birth defects. It will never, ever be possible to prove exactly what the safe level is. Because of the ethics of doing that study.

So why drink?

bowkerchops · 15/02/2020 10:07

I drank without knowing I was pregnant and lost my baby at 10 weeks. I was never able to conceive again and the guilt will be with me for the rest of my life. We adopted a wonderful little boy in the end but as we were searching for a match we read so many profiles of children affected by Foetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Just don't do it is my advice. Just not worth the risk. Let your liver have a few months off.

CloudyVanilla · 15/02/2020 10:08

Nope I didn't drink for all 3 of my pregnancies, but I'm not a big drinker anyway and don't really drink for pleasure much.

I don't think the occasional drink does any harm and wouldn't judge someone having the occasional drink at all, but logically alcohol is a toxin so if you can avoid it while pregnant I would imagine that is always going to be preferable.

MarchDaffs · 15/02/2020 10:08

The car analogy only works if the car crashes every time.

Not really, because you don't find out it isn't going to crash until you complete the journey.

yellowallpaper · 15/02/2020 10:08

No, but I rarely drink alcohol so it was no big deal. Don't smoke either, but still had baby of 5 and half pounds

LaurieMarlow · 15/02/2020 10:08

But one is a unknown risk (car) and usually benefits the baby ie a walk or buying essentials Items for when born

Firstly this is bollocks. Secondly internet shopping exists, there’s no ‘essential’ reason why a pregnant woman needs to get into a car.

We have somehow normalised car travel and all the risks associated with them and somehow decided they ‘dont count’ which I find really bizarre.

bingbangbing · 15/02/2020 10:10

And you don't find out that the child hasn't suffered birth defects until they're born.

CloudyVanilla · 15/02/2020 10:11

I should actually add though that I don't know the occasional drink does no harm, I just hear that a lot. But at the same time if no safe levels have been established it definitely feels safer to not drink.

It does seem a little odd that some people insist on having alcohol consistently through pregnancy. Surely that's probably more harmful than having a few drinks at once due to the consistency exposure?

Again I have no idea though.

Paula2303 · 15/02/2020 10:12

No because drink is as harmful, and as much of a risk of causing cancers as smoking. Just google mitosis after drinking.

MarchDaffs · 15/02/2020 10:12

And you don't find out that the child hasn't suffered birth defects until they're born

So what you're saying, then, is that you agree that inessential car travel isn't any different to inessential alcohol consumption in pregnancy and if you're against one in any capacity as an avoidable risk, you should also apply the same argument to the other?

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