To ask if you drank alcohol during pregnancy

[Butterflyflower1234]

I'm curious as to people thoughts on alcohol during pregnancy?

I was always of the opinion that I wouldn't touch a single drop of alcohol during pregnancy but now I'm wondering would it be significantly harmful to have say one small glass of wine with dinner every so often (less than once a fortnight).

@Skysblue - I can only see the abstract for that study and their sample size (81) is insufficient to give enough power to a t sample to be significant to a credible p level.

With my first I was really naive so merrily drank while ttc, not expecting it to take straight away. Maybe drank two glasses from finding out pregnancy until baby born.

I don’t see the point in even one. Plenty other things to drink

@Skysblue that study is absolutely farcical! 81 people.. come back when it's thousands.
Were factors such as the age of the person providing the sperm documented and accounted for? Because there is actually a link between older fathers and ADHD. You could never pinpoint it to actually be due to alcohol consumption of the women unless every single thing each women did was identical. Diet, exercise, drinking, sleep, running etc etc. What a joke

Not really. I did have a glass of Champagne and OJ on my wedding day when pregnant with my third son, but other than that no.

I didn't know I was until I was 10 weeks (was on the pill but had had diarrhoea) and drank a lot on about 5 occasions in that time (my sister's wedding, my birthday, my housewarming, a night out with friends, on holiday in China where I also ate all sorts of raw meat and chickens feet etc 😩 plus climbed a mountain at high altitude over three days!) and had a couple of glasses on another few occasions.

Since I found out obviously I haven't touched a drop.

This sort of thread makes me want to curl up and die, I am so so scared of negative effects and already feel like a piece of shit mother tbh. Can't there be just a tiny bit of room for understanding and not all the vitriol? I do feel like I deserve the vitriol but there's noone that can make me feel as bad as I do.

What's made me feel slightly better is my aunt (nurse), gran and nan who all found out later and had drank, and their children have all turned out absolutely fine. I know anecdata but I swore I would do my best for my baby as soon as I realised

Christmastree43 I really wpuldnt beat yourself.up about it, you didnt know and like others on here have said doesnt always have negative consequences. I would feel the same as you in your situation cos I dont agree with drinking in pregnancy but not as if you intentionally got on the piss. I'm sure there are lots of people who haven't realised and have done it. sure you will be okay

I don't wish for further explanation as I dont think we will agree on this at all. I dont think its worth it at this point with so little evidence either way - you can compare it to driving all you like, it's not the same thing in my opinion and I dont think you'll be able to convince me it is which is fine you're entitled to believe what you want, as am I

You're right, it's not the same thing. We know for absolute certain that every single car journey is a risk whereas we do not know that this is true for every single instance of alcoholic consumption.

The main difference, let's be honest, is that you didn't drink when you were pregnant but you took plenty of other avoidable risks that you'd rather not recognise as such. That's why driving is magically different.

MarchDaffs where I live I have to drive as I live in a rural area in the middle of nowhere. I was exceptionally careful when pregnant as I had losses before which is why I feel the way I do about this so please dont come at me with you took other avoidable risks because quite honestly no I really didnt. if anything I was stupidly paranoid and in and out of hospital. the OP asked a question, people have answered if they agree or not. it's not up to you to try and convince them they're wrong especially when you dont even drink yourself! strangely invested in this argument!

Well said@ flower1994 and @ Christmastree43 please don’t stress I’m sure everything is fine, be kind to yourself.

did you ever think that it is perhaps people who have experienced loss are the majority that wouldnt risk it themselves personally? before you say anything aswell if you have too then sorry about that. but I'm not going to apologise for following the advice to the tee when wanting to get the healthiest baby I can here

Yes I had an occasional glass of wine and the odd G&T in both pgs that reached term. Nothing in first trimester. DD was a high risk pg after many losses and my obstetrician in 1998 told me a G&T would do no harm so I had one every other day during the last 6 to 8 weeks.

Both DC fine and both Oxbridge although the ADHd article has freaked me out as dd was diagnosed at 17. However looking back and knowing what I know now my father probably had it and I believe I have traits so I suspect it's more to do with genetics.

@flower1994 I don’t think anyone has an issue with you abstaining entirely from alcohol in pregnancy, that’s completely your choice and a valid one. The complaint is about the judgment of women who drink occasionally with comments and implications that they are knowingly putting their baby at risk, whereas these women generally would never do so but have formed a different view to the risks based on the evidence.

I’m sorry for your losses

MarchDaffs where I live I have to drive as I live in a rural area in the middle of nowhere. I was exceptionally careful when pregnant as I had losses before which is why I feel the way I do about this so please dont come at me with you took other avoidable risks because quite honestly no I really didnt. if anything I was stupidly paranoid and in and out of hospital. the OP asked a question, people have answered if they agree or not. it's not up to you to try and convince them they're wrong especially when you dont even drink yourself! strangely invested in this argument!

As has been pointed out several times now, the driving discussion relates to inessential driving. Avoidable risks. To which people keep responding I had to drive to work, hospital appointments etc: yes, sure, but this is about the car journeys people made that they didn't have to. Those are what is comparable to drinking alcohol, and they are risks regardless of how anyone might feel about it. I took them and I'm perfectly happy to admit this.

As for the tone policing, it's not up to you to say what's up to me or not, and it isn't strange to be highly invested in women having accurate information allowing them to make accurate risk assessments during pregnancy. It's a vital issue for all of us.

It's also probably best not to start trying to second guess who's experienced loss and who hasn't. That's very unlikely to end well.

I've seen a much more relaxed attitude to alcohol on the continent, especially France, Italy and Germany. Once sat next to a Frenchwoman in Italy who polished off a pint of beer whilst eating a mahoosive tray of cheese and meat followed by raclette. She was very definitely very pregnant but probably weighed less than I do (and my efforts at the raclette, which was all he had, were so pathetic that the waitress glared at me). I hope I didn't stare in admiration too obviously.

MarchDaffs not likely to end well? if anything I'm trying to explain to you why some people may follow the exact advice to the extent they do and feel the way they do its certainly the reason I followed everything by the book. anyway, I really feel this is going round and round in circles, you've made your inessential point 100 times now, weve already discussed that it is up to each individual to make the choice of what risk they do and dont feel comfortable with. if some people wanna drive then fine - that isn't what the OP asked. what do you want? you want me to agree with drinking alcohol in pregnancy? if you want to drink go ahead, I can't keep reading the words inessential from you its driving me batty

also it isnt second guessing read a lot of responses from people who said they wouldn't take the risk themselves, a lot of them mention struggling to conceive and losses. not all certainly but a fair amount, I'm defending those that then on top of that have to listen to people like you throwing "you took avoidable risks" at them when they would most likely have done all they conceivably could to have a healthy pregnancy. what a joke

I stopped drinking when TTC as I heard drinking can harm fertility and I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of being pregnant and not knowing and drinking. Same with all caffeine. With first pregnancy I also adhered strictly to the guidelines. Second pregnancy same again no drinking alcohol but now I have a toddler and I allow myself a small coffee once a day. Which I feel wracked with guilt about. And I also eat pate which is bad I know but somehow I feel a bit more relaxed this time around/really craving it!

Please dont feel wracked with guilt about having a coffee a day. That's well within the NHS guidelines. Personally I avoided pate

I’ve had a very relaxed approach to my pregnancy. I’m sure some would say far too relaxed and I’ll have been ‘lucky’. The odd drink, daily coffee, sushi, soft cheese, and cured meats etc, because my midwife and doctor are very relaxed. My doc even said I could go skiing or climbing if I wanted to and felt confident to as if I fell, they don’t worry about the baby, it would be fine, they worry about ligaments tearing. 🤷🏽‍♀️

They said the guidelines are there for the worst case and because some people can’t or won’t differentiate between one drink and one bottle of drink.

I’ve had more grief and attempt at shaming from strangers and overbearing family members for persisting in my fitness activities than for anything I’ve eaten or drunk. They seem to think we pregnant women should sit on a lace pillow-festooned chaise rather than go running or swimming or do weights or hill climbing or cycling. The idea of being fit and healthy being good for the baby escapes them.

That said, this has been my way and I wouldn’t dream of judging or forcing it upon others. I admire people who have done their pregnancies ‘by the book’ but I admit I did worry about some friends who did as their anxieties and fears and guilt probably did them more harm than a little glass of wine would ever do to a baby.

As an aside, I was also told that getting hammered in the first trimester before you knew wasn’t the end of the world as the foetus was fed by the yolk sack until the placenta took over, so weren’t actually connected to your blood stream in quite the same way.

I had a weird craving for Guinness when pregnant with DC1, so would have half a pint every couple of weeks. My midwife at the time told DH to give me a very small glass of wine with our evening meal in my last week of pregnancy to help me relax and sleep a bit better.
With DC2, I had horrendous nausea for pretty much the entire pregnancy, so I don't remember ever having a drink, maybe a small one on a special occasion.

Nope, not a drop. Why would you risk it?

you want me to agree with drinking alcohol in pregnancy? if you want to drink go ahead, I can't keep reading the words inessential from you its driving me batty

No, I want you to stop making posts that dismiss definite INESSENTIAL risks during pregnancy whilst talking up other less definite ones.

I'm defending those that then on top of that have to listen to people like you throwing "you took avoidable risks" at them when they would most likely have done all they conceivably could to have a healthy pregnancy.

Yet there are posters on this thread who have suffered losses who did have the occasional drink, having to read posts from people telling them it was definitely a risk when we don't know whether it was or not. Either it's wrong to talk about any avoidable risks in a discussion where there may be women who took them and have miscarried, or it's ok to talk about them all. It's one or the other.

marchdaffs okay you are absolutely draining. people dont have to justify why they chose not to drink, I've acknowledged it's up to the individual to assess any risk for themselves you're not gonna get anymore from me then that

marchdaffs exactly the point - we dont know so why risk it