To not have to Be stressed on post natal ward?

[ifeeltheneedtheneedforsleep]

I had my baby earlier in the week and after a very traumatic delivery he's in SCBU while I'm on the post natal ward (trying to recover from emergency surgery AND going back and forth to be with baby).
The staff have been amazing so this is in no way a criticism of them but it is a criticism of the idiot pen pusher who no doubt deemed it a good idea to implement a policy allowing partners or friends or family to stay over with mothers on the post natal ward!
The ward is full tonight and it's like a freaking zoo! Next to me I've got a woman who has her mother staying who repeatedly rings the midwife asking for food, pillows, water etc etc for her MOTHER because you know, she's travelled a long way! I've lost count of the amount of times they've bashed through my curtain and sent everything flying!
Opposite is a woman who at the moment has a partner and his male friend (who the midwife is trying to evict to their protests about it being too late at night for him to leave) - they are busy watching bollywood movies on an iPad at full volume and have their own picnic going on so it's non stop crinkle, rustle munch munch on top of their cackling, loud chatting and movie!! That's just two or the finer examples but the rest are having full on conversations at nearly half past midnight!

Is it too much to ask to recover on a ward where you don't feel like you're in party central, where you can actually speak to the midwife about bleeding or leaky boobs without having just a curtain between you and some randoms? Or even to be able to change without worrying that some idiot is going to pull your curtain back because they've barged it constantly? 😡

Its absolutely terrible and i feel sorry for you. But unfortunately exactly my experience. Luckily i had a quick and easy birth. I wanted to leave the same day, but they made me stay because they said baby needs to be checked and cleared to leave the next morning and i need to stay one night at least. It was so crowded and loud that i called my partner at 1am because i couldnt take it anymore. Had him pick me up and left with the baby. I had a huge fight with the midwife there, but she eventually let me go with the promise to come back the next morning for the check up.

*I’m not the OP, but I don’t think she’s unhappy about considerate partners helping our someone genuinely in need of help.

It’s more about the free for all entertainment that postnatal wards have turned into*

Not only are you not the OP but you didn’t read what she wrote either:

is a criticism of the idiot pen pusher who no doubt deemed it a good idea to implement a policy allowing partners or friends or family to stay over with mothers on the post natal ward!

This is just making me feel so lucky with DS1 there were no beds in the postnatal ward for me so I ended up in a four bed ward on my own in the delivery suite which apart from the doors to theatre going loudly all through the night it was very peaceful. With ds2 I paid for a private room we were there for three days in the end I almost didn’t want to go home

I’m genuinely horrified that men are allowed to overnight on a postnatal ward these days. It just shouldn’t be allowed.

@alsohuman yes I did say that because the people in here are not helping or supporting in any way. Sitting stuffing your face with fish and chips or snoring while your partner calls the midwife to fetch her water is helpful how? As someone else pointed out, this seems to be more about women having company whilst here rather than any actual help.

I think someone else mentioned it being necessary because of one midwife supporting 16 women at a time - that's honestly not the case here, there are multiple midwives in here and they have been excellent in terms of the care they provide, unfortunately someone somewhere made a decision out of their hands to allow random people to just crash on chairs in here regardless of what the needs of others are. I'm not even going to start on the hygiene side of things given the amount of blokes traipsing in and out of the clearly marked "female patient only" toilets.

To everyone who has wished us well - thank you. I'm still here tonight and looks like maybe another couple at least as baby is still in The baby unit. He seems to be improving though which is the main thing

Exactly same happened to me with my firstborn, it was horrific. Boiling hot, tiny cubicle and a couple next to me who played videos very loudly and tbh neglected the baby.. midwife told them off as came to check on baby and his nappy was soaked through. Like many , the birth was long and traumatic and this was the worst possible start to motherhood I could have imagined!

It’s horrendous but it’s the way it is going. It’s a stealth cost cutting exercise by the nhs to allow men to stay overnight on wards so nurses/midwives can be reduced. They have sold it as a lovey thing for bonding and now we are stuck with it. Email everyone that matters your experience.

So sorry you’re still there @ifeeltheneedtheneedforsleep. I hope you’re both home very soon. I’m really glad your ward is well staffed so there really isn’t any excuse for men to be there.

I really hope every woman who has to endure this will complain long and loud to anyone in a position to change it. There are very few things that have got far, far worse in the last 40 years, what a shame post natal care is one of them.

It’s disgraceful. I would literally keep complaining. There is no need for anyone to stay.

Unfortunately open visiting is now an enforced rule in hospitals as much as nursing staff hate it too. We are entitled to ask relatives and friends to reduce their noise level but not allowed to ask them to leave or have them removed unless causing major disruption. Believe me, nurses hate open visiting as much as patients.

So in addition to funding cuts, HCPs are now expected to be bouncers for ill behaviour. It's gone too far the other way. I hope you get out of there soon and then are able to complain afterwards. Unacceptable.

I hope you have a more peaceful night.
Unfortunately, some families see any occasion to do with the NHS as a social occasion- hence the ridiculous numbers at GP and hospital appointments, A&E visits and, as you're experiencing, hospital stays.
Of course, these are the same people who will complain loudly if their loved one isn't catered to in every way possible.

I'm so sad reading this. It is a truly dreadful state of affairs, please complain loudly and try to encourage others to do so. Some hospitals have complainants websites which help.

Hope you'll both be home soon.

Unfortunately open visiting is now an enforced rule in hospitals

It’s obviously a failed experiment and time it was reversed.

I honestly think my hospital had the best of both worlds. Partners only 9-9 which meant I could catch up on some sleep while DH was here, then at 9 they were all papped our so the ward was quieter overnight.

I would say in this instance you are not being unreasonable but I had my partner with me full time following my emergency c section and wouldn't have managed without him.
He didn't ask the midwives for anything unless it was for me or the baby and we were in a room with only one other lady and each time the doctors or midwifes came in to examine me or her my other half left the room so it was just us and medical staff so she had her privacy

This sounds terrible but sadly I’m not surprised- when I had my DS1 a couple of years ago I had a traumatic delivery with emergency surgery and all sorts of fun stuff- they put me after being in recovery for a few hours in the main ward, insisted I sleep then wondered why I couldn’t because of the horrific row, kids running around everywhere and obviously babies crying too. Luckily for me a senior midwife saw the state of me and declared she’d find me a separate room if I promised to go to sleep! She duly did and within about another hour I was whizzing off down the corridor, baby in tow (couldn’t walk still had catheter to say nothing of numb from spinal block legs). Honestly I’ve never been so grateful in my life- just to have some peace & quiet! I ended up staying a week because I was so ill and think I’d have been there a lot longer had I not been moved. And I must say credit to the midwives & health care assistants, they were all great, I never had to ask for food or anything and they were so supportive with breastfeeding even at silly o’clock in the morning!