To expect these to come back washed?!

[coffeeforone]

Last weekend I invited my 3.5 year old DS's nursery friend (same age) round for a few hours as his mum has a newborn and is struggling for a break. She mentioned when I picked him up that her DS was still potty training so to keep offering him to go to the toilet and he should be ok!

He did keep saying he didn't need to go but was obviously just too distracted playing with DS and by the time I realised he was wet - my bad.

I put some of DS's clean pants and trousers on and then when I dropped him off an hour later just gave his mum his wet clothes in a bag. She didn't seem too happy that he'd had an accident but I didn't think anything of it.

However, she just returned DS's clothes that I had put on her DS and they clearly haven't been washed. Can't help feeling this is a message that I have upset her in some way. Or am I overthinking this?!

Maybe she felt you weren’t attentive enough and it was a step back that he wet himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Regardless, she should have been thankful that you looked after him and grateful you changed his clothes. She definitely should have returned them clean.

You're overthinking.
She has a newborn and is struggling you said.
Are the clothes covered in food, piss or shit?
If not, then it's no biggie.
Yes, I'd have washed them, but I wouldn't have a strop if they were returned to me unwashed.

Did you wash his clothes?

Tbh it would have been nice for it to be clean....but not necessary anyone with a newborn is not a social butterfly/on top of things etc. atleast you got the clothes back.

@BookMeOnTheSudExpress I would imagine their covered in wee still judging by the OP’s post which is a tad disgusting

No, I think she's talking about the clean clothes she put on him afterwards.

I'd have washed them, but then she has a newborn, so I wouldn't really give it a thought if she gave them back without doing so.

Thanks! I don't mind that they are unwashed (they just still have traces of the snacks/smoothie that I gave them and a bit of mud splash from a puddle when I walked him home), but more if I have upset her in some way. Either by giving back her DS's own wet clothes or that he had an accident?

No, I didn't wash his own clothes, I just handed them back. Maybe I should have kept them and washed them!

I would have washed them, but I also would have washed her DS's clothes rather than given them back dirty.

I don't think she's sending you a message though, just didn't think to do it.

If I couldn't get her son's clothes washed and dried in time I probably would have just explained that to her. She probably was just distracted though.

@OhLook oh bollocks of course she is!! Sorry @BookMeOnTheSudExpress and thanking you @OhLook

Is this a reverse? You should have washed the piss pants.

No you shouldn't have washed her Ds clothes. No doubt you had to clean up your floor after his accident and clean him up - that was enough. But she should have washed your Ds clothes. Gross that she gave back unwashed pants worn by her child.

I don't see why you would have needed to keep them to wash them. 30/60min cycle done... But also, you say she is struggling yet you expect her to wash your kids clothes.

I'd like the fact she didn't feel the need to try to keep up appearances with me

I do think it's odd she didn't send any spare clothes with her DS though, especially if he's not reliably dry.

I agree, OP. She should have washed them, I’d have washed them and I would have also expected that they were washed.
You handing his wet clothes back is completely different and we’re certainly not for you to wash.
I’m not sure she was sending a message or anything, she’s probably just really busy or has returned them mindlessly.

To be honest, she's probably doing really well even getting the clothes back to you. It's not like they were covered in anything like wee and poo.

I would give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was unintentionally rather than deliberately rude.

Is this a reverse? You should have washed the piss pants.

It crossed my mind for a second but then I realise I'd my washing machine was already on a full cycle with bedding at the time so it wouldn't have been done by the time I was taking him home.

Thanks, reassuring that some just think she has done so mindlessly - I hope this is the case

You’re annoyed because she didn’t wash dry pants when you didn’t wash wet ones.

I'm not annoyed, just more surprised

I would have washed them but perhaps she was worried she would forget to return them once mixed up in her washing, baby brain and all.

Anyway could have been worse. A mum and tot from my son's nursery came round once. Her son shat himself. I lent him pants and trousers to go home in and never saw them again.

Also admit when I saw this thread I thought it might be Red Armani Pants Man.