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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let daughter do cheerleading?

464 replies

undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 13:41

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

OP posts:
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MerryDeath · 13/02/2020 15:30

just watched Cheer and what they do is far from the stereotypical idea me, a nineties kids/reader of SVH had of cheerleading. tbh i was expecting you to say because it's too bloody dangerous!

Ellisandra · 13/02/2020 15:35

SVH Grin happy memories of that!

FromEden · 13/02/2020 15:37

Oddly enough, we don't actually want a professional footballer in the family! I was hoping scientist, teacher that kind of thing..

You sound a bit judgy tbh. Anyway, its not about what you want them to be, it about what they want to do. Letting your DD do what she wants isnt the end of the world. Many posters have stated that cheer isnt what you seem to think it is, have you taken it on board yet?

PhilSwagielka · 13/02/2020 15:41

What's wrong with a girl wanting to do a sport? She can at least have a go. Cheerleading is a lot harder than it looks. Don't lads do it as well?

PhilSwagielka · 13/02/2020 15:44

Also, she's been scouted by a football team? That's really cool.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 15:46

What's wrong with a girl wanting to do a sport? She can at least have a go. Cheerleading is a lot harder than it looks. Don't lads do it as well?

Not in her school, boys I mean. i've already said it's time, money, re-jigging work stuff ( if she does cheer she needs to come out of childminding and be picked up from that 1.5 hrs earlier) as well as me not seeing the point...

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sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/02/2020 15:53

Oddly enough, we don't actually want a professional footballer in the family! I was hoping scientist, teacher that kind of thing..

You don't WANT a footballer in the family but earlier said she could be a future Lucy Bronze. My DD would love to be a professional footballer. What I want her to be is happy. Surely most parents want that above wanting them to be a scientist or a teacher?

I also think you sound a little as if you don't want her to do the cheerleading because you don't think she'll be as good as others at it. She doesn't need to be the best as long as she's enjoying herself. Omitting the whole picking up earlier from the childminder to work around it in your OP was also a bit of a mistake!

LolaSmiles · 13/02/2020 15:55

I suppose there's an outside chance that she'll be 'cheerleading' on a Sunday afternoon when she's a grandma, who knows...
Nice and dismissive.
Funnily enough, I don't do cheer, dance or gymnastics these days. I guess they were a massive waste of my time when young then because I do different sports now.

As you say, you don't see the point but that's no reason to be ignorantly dismissive of a sport you clearly don't know much about.

99problemsandthecatis1 · 13/02/2020 15:58

Yabu. I did cheerleading at uni. It's great exercise, commerarderie, a team sport with individual components. I was shit at hockey, netball, football etc not good enough at gymnastics to make a team but cheerleading was fun and kept me active and flexible.

JacquesHammer · 13/02/2020 16:01

Not in her school, boys I mean. i've already said it's time, money, re-jigging work stuff ( if she does cheer she needs to come out of childminding and be picked up from that 1.5 hrs earlier) as well as me not seeing the point

But what’s the point in football? What’s the point in any extra-curricular activity? The point is it enriches the child doing it, if that is cheerleading, macrame, football or lego club is doesn’t matter.

The fact it would allegedly make your life more difficult would have more emphasis if you weren’t dismissive of the activity.

What happens if she is asked to do another night football practice? Would you be willing to juggle for that?

angell84 · 13/02/2020 16:01

I just came back from the U.S.A. The superbowl was on while I was there, and I got speaking to some of the people in the bar about American football. In the super bowl - it was really over the top, with long slo - mo videos of the footballers like they were war heroes.

This American guy in the bar said , "yeah I know that we are totally sexist, we treat the football players like gladiators, and we like our women in scanty clothing on the sideline - cheering them on, we are a f*cked up, sexist country"

Witchend · 13/02/2020 16:02

Only cheerleader I know is a man in his 40s.

angell84 · 13/02/2020 16:03

Another time while I was in the U.S.A, I asked "why do the male footballers wear lots of clothes, and the female cheerleaders wear underwear?".

The answer that I got was something very vague - to do with temperature.

Sexist sh*te

mumto2teenagers · 13/02/2020 16:05

I think it's interesting you describe cheerleading as sexist and then go on to say she has tried various 'girls' activities.

I don't understand why she cannot enjoy football and cheerleading.

My dd's both did a variety of different activities. DD1's main passion was dancing but also played football, rugby and at 16 did MMA for a while.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 16:05

'As you say, you don't see the point but that's no reason to be ignorantly dismissive of a sport you clearly don't know much about'

I play tennis with a bunch of old girls who played since childhood and 50 odd years later still play a few times a week. Mostly for the banter!
I swim with women 20 years older than me who get in the sea even in winter.
I play netball with a bunch of 40 and 50 somethings...
That's what I want for DC - for them to have something they love doing so much they can rely on it their whole lives. A healthy habit or hobby that stays with them. It may change, they may end up golfers, or surfers or playing table tennis.

I really don't care if the boy ends up dancing on BGT or the girl plays for Spurs or Man City in the end. Just that they're healthy, happy, well-ish rounded kids.

The constant re-arranging of schedules to fit their stuff in is fine, and do-able, so long as it;s for something worth it.

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gospelsinger · 13/02/2020 16:06

I think your issue is actually not about the cheer, its about adding another activity onto a full schedule.

My DD did cheer at secondary school and enjoyed it, but that's actually irrelevant. Your DD likes football. She should be encouraged that loving football is fine and she doesn't need to do cheer to fit in. No need to look down on cheerleading, but it's ok to limit the number of activities she does.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 16:08

'I think it's interesting you describe cheerleading as sexist and then go on to say she has tried various 'girls' activities.'

I've already explained this - the commas were because that's what she calls them! And she's teased specifically for playing a 'boy's' sport.
She's not teased for tennis, swimming or even basketball. She's desperately trying to fit in with a group, but she's already different cos of the scouting thing. Unless she ditches the academy stuff she'll always be outside this particular grp and what a waste that would be given she loves it.

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corythatwas · 13/02/2020 16:14

You know you are allowed to say "no, sorry, we can't afford another activity" or "if you start something you are going to have to stick with it for a while because we can't keep buying new lots of equipment"- you don't even have to have that discussion about what is a worthy sport and what is not.

Ithinkitcouldbeme · 13/02/2020 16:19

Weird how you see running around a pitch kicking a little ball around as the more superior sport. Not much skill in football compared to cheer.

eniledam · 13/02/2020 16:22

Watch "Cheer" on Netflix - it will blow your mind. It completely changed my perception of what cheerleading is. No waving pom poms at the sidelines - it requires you to be an expert in gymnastics and dance, as well as being incredibly strong. The training and conditioning these athletes put themselves through is insane. The injuries are catastrophic when stunts go wrong. Have a quick look on Youtube, it's beyond impressive.

If my daughter wanted to do it, I'd be wary but I'd say go for it - it teaches dedication and teamwork, and builds great friendships.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 16:24

Weird how you see running around a pitch kicking a little ball around as the more superior sport. Not much skill in football compared to cheer.

TBH it's more that the football is with a premiership team, and also with a local kids football team that she loves and the cheer is a bunch of kids with pom poms in the school hall. So yes, in this case the football is definitely a superior experience I think.

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85notout · 13/02/2020 16:25

Yep sexist shit. Teaching girls to cheer and shout for boys sports teams

^ This. Prancing around and dancing by the track? It's not a sport, it's a load of rubbish.

Original poster
undercoverfunster · 13/02/2020 16:26

I've seen the cheerleading show that the kids do, it was literally a dance routine with pom poms and chanting. No back flips, no gymnastics. it;s run by the music teacher.

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HoneyCupcake · 13/02/2020 16:27

What Cheer on Netflix. Best documentary I have ever watched on there. You will change your mind.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/02/2020 16:27

it was literally a dance routine what's wrong with kids learning a dance routine?