Grandparents VS Nursery

[UnicornDust219]

Newbie here - I wasn't sure if this was bet posted in Childcare or AIBU so hopefully I've chosen correctly! Sorry if this is long...

I've recently returned back to work full time from mat leave and my DH works full time too. Both sets of parents are retired and currently my parents have our LO 1 day a week, his parents have LO for 3 days and he is in Nursery for the remaining 1 day. We are living with his parents at present as we are trying to save for a mortgage and plan on being for another 12-18 months, which everyone has said they are OK with.

Initially I was happy with the arrangement but I feel a little differently having been back at work for a few weeks now. DH's parents are doing a majority of the caring so that we can save money which I am extremely grateful for, but from what I have seen they aren't able to do much with him, so he is left playing on the floor on his own or watching nursery rhyme cartoons on TV for a lot of the day.

I figured perhaps 3 days a week to look after a child is a lot so have mentioned to DH about LO being put into Nursery for an extra day, however he has said that it's a waste of money as his parents have offered and have said they are fine. I've tried explaining that I feel LO would benefit a lot more from Nursery an extra day and it eases the pressure from his parents a bit but DH is convinced that we are throwing away valuable 'saving' money.

What do you all think and what is everyone's experience of grandparents Vs Nursery? AIBU?

My DM looks after my 15mo while I'm at work. I agreed to this because it was DM's idea and she loves spending the time with him. She takes him for a walk every day, takes him to visit relatives, takes him to the park, reads to him, plays with him, sings to him and takes him to Rhyme Time at the library or to soft play every so often and is happy to do these things. If I thought for a minute that she wasn't up to it, wasn't enjoying it or that he wasn't getting any interaction or stimulation i'd have no hesitation in ending the arrangement. I don't believe that a child needs Nursery at that age like some posters have claimed. But I certainly don't think it does them any harm. In your position OP, if I wasn't happy with the care my child was getting from grandparents I'd rather pay for childcare.

It’s a difficult balancing act nowadays, but I remain astonished at how many older grandparents seem to be tied into almost a care contract. It’s like living on a knife edge for some, especially if a severe illness happens, impacts on everyone. The whole castle can come tumbling down sadly.

I was always told the old adage: parent is better than grandparent is better than nanny is better than nursery, and have stuck by it. However, sitting in front of the telly isn’t good for any baby. But then the surveys about cortisol levels in babies in nursery isn’t good either. I think at age 3/4 then nursery can be good for socialising and Pre school development but otherwise family care has to be better for a tiny baby with close family bonds.

I’d talk instead to the grandparents about avoiding Tv and maybe buy some new books/toys/interactive games to encourage this. I wouldn’t use a nursery over this, I don’t think.