Re dropping BIL off at work

[twelveminutespast]

Not sure if I'm being U here so I'm hoping for some opinions here.

Me and DH work on the same road. However it's a very long road and goes on for a few miles iyswim.

Before Christmas, BIL got a job on the same road, it's in the middle of mine and DH work place. DH one morning suddenly said to me BIL is going to get in with us, can you drop him off at work on the way.

I was miffed about this, as there are two ways to get to DH work. 1st way is very busy and have to go past numerous schools. I actively avoided going that way in the morning because it's an absolutely nightmare. However this is the only way we can go to get to BILs workplace. The other way we used to go took much less time, I could drop DH off and go back down the same route and still get to work on time.

I'm getting stressed every morning because the traffic is so horrendous going the first way in order to drop BIL off. He contributes nothing to petrol costs either. And I'm often late dropping my DS off at childcare before I start work.

I don't know how to approach this situation. aibu here?

Let the BIL know the issue. He might be happy to get out at your work and walk down from there. Or make his own arrangements

Good for you OP. Your husband is a cheeky sod too.

I was going to suggest your BIL could buy a scooter and use that from wherever you drop him. However, having seen how he and your DP are behaving, you shouldn't waste a nanosecond on solving their problem. Well handled, OP!

I imagine your husband and BIL to both be fat lazy lumps that sit there slumped in the car with their seat laying back whilst someone ferries them around.

Well done twelve. It’s good to see someone calling out CF behaviour like this and not rolling over! Keep up the good work!

Are you the poster who has the BIL who is always round your house for days on end?
Either way he is an entitled twat to not even offer you some petrol money.

@Namechanger001 Nope that's not me, although I could write a whole other thread on that!!

Have told MIL about this. She was going to come round tonight but wanted her there may an atmosphere when DH arrives home, as we haven't spoken much on good terms. She was more bothered about not being able to see DS rather than the actual issue at hand.

@BringOnTheBotox Accurate description

It feels great to arrive home early for once! I didn't realise how much ferrying them about affected my life until suddenly I wasn't doing it anymore, so much better just being responsible for getting me and DS home.

She was more bothered about not being able to see DS

Why would she not be able to see DS?

@fedup21 sorry forgot to say I told her to visit tomorrow instead as DS is in a really grumpy overtired mood!

Enjoy the extra time you’re going to get now. Can your DH learn to drive himself? Then he can offer his own services as taxi driver rather than your using your time!

Why doesn't DH drive ??? I ne er understand why couples who have a driver in the house and a car WHY doesn't the other partner drive ?

For background, we are Young. Very early 20s. We aren't high earners so DH never had the extra money to do his lessons. I was lucky enough that one of my grandparents contributed towards my lessons but I bought my own car and paid for own insurance and tax when I was 18

Then teach him !!! I have taught 3 kids, 2 brothers and an ex husband . Call your own insurance... it cost £20 extra a month. Make sure he practices by going out with you at EVERY available opportunity, make sure he studies his theory... have a couple of lessons before the test and ... all of a sudden he is a driver. I really could t put up with being the only driver in a family unit..

Getting the bus is a perfectly normal and valid way of getting to work leaving you to sort out your son

I hope it continues to be this way

What he needs to do one day is to get your child ready in the morning, then travel as a passenger through this whole set up - including stopping at his workplace (but not letting him get out) and his BIL's and the childcare drop off, and finally arriving at your work. Then he'd see exactly how long and how tedious your part in his morning is.

If he's getting dropped off early in this route, he has no idea what he and your BIL are putting you through.

I don't drive. 2 years of lessons and I'm just terrible at it. The world is a safer place without me on the road.

The difference is, I consider anything under 4 miles walkable then happily use public transport to get around. I actually find it a little frustrating when people try to force me to get a lift!!!

• Getting the bus is a perfectly normal and valid way of getting to work leaving you to sort out your son

I hope it continues to be this way*

This!!!!!

Im so happy for you op

Good work op. Great update.

OP, did your MIL ferry your DH and BIL around all the time? Because they both sound like molly coddled idiots.

Me and DH are back on speaking terms (kind of). I hope he doesn't think he can now get back in the car along with BIL tomorrow morning.

Well, if it were me I would allow him back in on the understanding that you're the driver so you choose the route and the time of departure. He sits there quietly and is grateful for the lift - fine. Same for BIL. But no more driving the route you don't like and that makes you late! And obviously if you just don't want to then that's also up to you.