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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect teens to understand meal planning/prep?

89 replies

britinnyc · 12/02/2020 07:32

I know someone posted similar about their DH last week but I am having an issue with my hungry son. We have a busy week in my house with nights where no one is home for dinner at the same time. I attempted to be organized and prep some dinners so we can heat and eat stuff as we are in and out. My teen DS has football practice at dinner time on Tuesday so he typically eats two small meals of sandwiches etc. because he doesn't want to eat a lot before and when he gets home at 9:30 he doesn't want a big meal.

Tonight I was out at a meeting so just DH was home and I came back to find that DS ate almost all of the meal I have prepared for tomorrow. I won;;t be home till 7 or later tomorrow and DH has to go out for something before that so I really wanted to have food we could all eat on our schedule. I don't have time to shop for more food tomorrow. DH thinks IBU as DS is a growing boy. I think DS should have figured out something else to eat, they both knew it was tomorrow's dinner. I'm pretty sure DH helped eat it and the dog may have benefited too. I know the kids are going to be complaining there is nothing for dinner tomorrow and DH is a terrible cook so isn't going to help matters. I fear this is only going to get worse as DS is only 13 and my other DS is 11 so they are both going to get hungrier. Do I give up and accept that meal planning is a waste and I am going to constantly have to buy more food than I ever could imagine???

OP posts:
maddy68 · 12/02/2020 07:35

He's a teenager he just sees available food.

Didn't you say. I've left you x for your dinner ?

Foslady · 12/02/2020 07:36

Maybe look at some protein based stuff rather than sandwiches to fill DS up for longer?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 12/02/2020 07:41

Teenage boys = plague of locusts.

I think YAB a bit U, yes. Your husband didnt understand so why should your teenagers?

Youve planned meals but does anyone else know your plan? I think you need to be more explicit. "Ive made X, it's for tea on Wednesday." Stick a list up.

jillandhersprite · 12/02/2020 07:42

I think you need to tell your family that meal planning is how food is done now in your house as you are the one organising it. Start stickering the food that is off limits.
But do ensure there is plenty of good protein snacks - we give cheese and frankfurters in addition to the usual fruit/veg which is always available for snacks.
Anyone uses up the meal plan food - then it's their personal money that buys the replacement meal (and have to organise it)

blondiebrowneyes · 12/02/2020 07:43

YANBU. My DS was always starving when he got in from school, but he knew what he was allowed to eat and what he wasn't. Always made sure there were plenty of crumpets/cereal/stuff to make sandwiches so he would have that to keep him going.

Dinner tonight needs to be left to your DH to sort, let them get on with it.

gamerchick · 12/02/2020 07:45

They both knew it was tomorrows dinner and did it anyway.

So, tell your husband it's up to him to sort tonights meal out and it's time your kids learned how to prepare meals.

mrsm43s · 12/02/2020 07:45

I don't think sandwiches, even 2 plates of them, is enough for s growing teen who had spent the evening playing sports. He needs to have a quick, easy to prepare hot meal available for that evening. Either batch cook specific one portion meals for him that he can blast in the microwave, or save him his own plated up portion of the family meal to be reheated. Label up the following days meal, so it's clear what he should be eating.

Tableclothing · 12/02/2020 07:49

Yeah, your DH and kids need to learn to cook. They will improve rapidly with some practise.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 12/02/2020 07:50

YABU sandwiches isn't a substantial meal for a growing teen who had been out playing football, surely it's one of the nights to batch cook for? I agree with PPs saver him some dinner to reheat or batch cook Bolognese with lots of veg in individual portions, protein, veg and a big bowl of pasta is much better than sandwiches, even if he eats the same thing every week on football night that's fine.

mantarays · 12/02/2020 07:50

He is old enough to sort himself beans on toast. He cooks tonight. Pasta, pesto, chicken or something like that.

Original poster
britinnyc · 12/02/2020 07:50

I am annoyed because they all knew it was for tomorrow,. It was steak, I made extra last night and the plan was to eat it cold with salad tomorrow. DS just likes steak and it was better than the other things in the fridge (there were plenty of healthy, filling things there).

I am frustrated right now in general because he keeps eating everything in sight but not telling me when things are running out so I am constantly having to go shopping for more food when I am busy. DS can walk to the shop to get stuff but sometimes trying to figure that all out takes even more time. I guess I am just not used to this level of appetite! DH is no help, the concept of meal planning goes right over his head and he seems to think dinner miraculously appears out of nowhere (but complains if we spend money on a takeaway)

OP posts:
Ellmau · 12/02/2020 07:52

So eat the other healthy filling things tonight. Under no circumstances go out and get your DH more steak.

couchlover · 12/02/2020 07:54

We are having a similar issue with DS 12. We make it clear what he can snack on but he keeps using ingredients meant for meals eg will use up a big bag of grated cheese bought for pasta bake/lasagne on 'pizza toast' (we always have at least one big block of cheddar in but its too much effort apparently when there is a bag of grated cheese). He will make himself big bowls of pasta and sauce as a snack and be upset when I don't make him another meal when we eat or will eat all the oven chips so when I plan a meal with oven chips and go to make it we don't have enough.

He has been told time and again to just ask unless its cereal, toast, sandwiches, fruit etc which he can eat as much as he likes of,

mrsm43s · 12/02/2020 07:55

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think YABU. You didn't save any dinner for him, so he ate what was available. You need to provide your 13 year old son with a proper dinner every night. And at that age, especially if they are sporty, they eat a lot, probably 1.5 or 2 times what a sedentary adult female needs, so his portions will look enormous to you.

midgebabe · 12/02/2020 07:56

Is ds old enough to be made to take his pocket money, buy more steak and sort out dinner for everyone?

mauvaisereputation · 12/02/2020 07:57

Surely there's something in the cupboard or freezer you can eat?? I don't really think this has anything to do with meal prep -- sounds like your DS (and DH?) were hungry and wanted something more than a sandwich. Not the end of the world.

midgebabe · 12/02/2020 07:57

YANBU, unless you have not taught them how to cook with the sort of stuff that was in the fridge

gamerchick · 12/02/2020 07:57

DH is no help, the concept of meal planning goes right over his head and he seems to think dinner miraculously appears out of nowhere (but complains if we spend money on a takeaway)

This is where you start or your kids will take you for granted just like he does. A place where are some on this thread seem to think you should be as well oddly Hmm

Your bloke needs to take over some of the cooking. No excuses, a shit cook just needs lots of practise.

mauvaisereputation · 12/02/2020 07:58

And I agree with those who it's U to give a 13 year old a sandwich for dinner, especially after sports practice.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 12/02/2020 08:03

Unless you are trying to save money I'd just go with it tbh.Ive lost count of how many times I've just bought a loaf of bread and it's nearly gone within the hour.If hes hungry,hes hungry.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 12/02/2020 08:04

So they will eat what was supposed to be that night on the night steak was supposed to be.
It's not the end of the world at all.
Just a simple day swap.

mrsm43s · 12/02/2020 08:04

Yep, tonight eat the healthy, filling things in the fridge that you expected your DS to eat last night but didn't. If they were good enough for his dinner, they are good enough for your dinner.

And buy more food! Teenagers need to eat loads. They are not being greedy, they have higher calorie needs. If money is tight, buy cheapest alternatives, rather than expensive things like steak.

Excited101 · 12/02/2020 08:06

Did he/they actually know it was for tomorrow’s dinner or do you just think they should have known it was tomorrow’s dinner, because the 2 things are very different.

KingCatMeowInSpace · 12/02/2020 08:07

Sorry but I think YABU- he's 13 and growing and hungry and doesn't always feel like cold sandwiches- could you prepare meals for one that he can heat himself and leave out a list of suggestions he can choose from or make himself like omelettes or toasties or homemade soup or beans on toast if he doesn't always want a big meal.

Fairylea · 12/02/2020 08:13

Buy some coloured stickers. Anything they can’t eat bung a sticker on. Make sure there’s plenty of toast / instant snacks / protein type things (beans, ham, chicken slices, cheese) to fill them up.

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